Having children young (daughter, husband, school, mature)
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Ivory, how would you enforce the minimum age rule?
Unfortunatley, there is theory and practice. You can't without infringing on "rights". I have no idea why being given full control over another human being is a right. It shouldn't be.
I suppose we could simply say they can't keep any babies they have but then society ends up raising their children which only works as long as there are couples who want them. Then you're talking institutions. Though institutions would be better than some of the 20 something moms I've met. Honestly, we're not very grown up at 20. Not grown up enough to be raising the next generation for sure.
We need a biological calamity that results in us not being able to get pregnant without medical help. That would do it.
I really don't get the push to have babies young. What does it accomplish and how smart are the people who are doing it? Go out and accomplish something before you start raising the next generation. Learn something, grow up, get your finances in order, make sure you're actually going to be with your spouse 5 years from now...etc, etc, etc....
Too bad you can't pass a law requiring people to think first.
You, yourself made a strong argument for older parents being better parents.
Sorry but setting a minimum age for parenthood would reduce welfare/WIC roles, child neglect and child abuse and increase our graduation rates. It would give adults time to get their financial house in order before having kids and to grow up themselves. There really isn't a bad side to not having kids young. There's no reason or advantage to having them young. Younger couples tend to struggle financially. The younger we are the more immature we tend to be. With 50% of marriages ending in divorce, waiting would mean fewer children put through divorces. And given that maternal education at time of birth is the biggest predictor of child outcomes, I'd think you'd want moms a little older so they can finish college first.
Waiting is a good thing. Sometimes we have to pass laws to make people do the good thing. We could use one here. 30's an exaggeration as there are many who are mature and established by their mid 20's so we could have a clause to take a parenting test that included a financial stability test.
There is no advantage to having children young. There are many to waiting. Educated moms make better moms and their kids turn out better. Kids do better when they live in a two parent household so waiting to make sure the marriage is going to work is a good thing. And growing up yourself before you have kids shouldn't be underrated.
When my kids were born has nothing to do with when I retire. It's not about my retirement. Anyone who's thinking that way about kids probably shouldn't have them. Either you want to make the investment in children or you don't. They're not pets or convenience items or accessories. They're people and we should be making darned sure we're up to the challenge of supporting and raising them and that, often, takes getting a little age under your belt.
You see far fewer cases of abuse in older parents. Fewer cases older parents on walfare/WIC. Older parents are more likely to be educated. They're more likely to be mature. There are lots of reasons to prefer older parents and none to prefer younger parents. Back when people died at 40, having kids at 20 made sense. It doesn't anymore. Now we have to see to our educations and establish careers before having kids to make sure we can care for them. That puts having kids into the late 20's, which is not a problem given we're now living to be 80 as a matter of routine.
Some interesting thoughts here. I love this stuff.
So since we are playing "what if"....
Have you noticed that the gap between sexual maturity (i.e. females reaching menses earlier, say ~9-12 yrs of age) and financial/career/social maturity is wideneing???
In other words, due to biology and the hypersexuality of our culture, kids are having sex earlier.....yet we "adults" are telling them not to procreate until 30's or 40's (where they sometimes run into reproductive trouble). So they now have a HUGE time gap between starting to have sex and starting to produce offspring. Something is off in that equation.
Soooo.......
What are we (humans) doing wrong? From a biological/anthropological standpoint we make no sense.
Should we try to slow the biological clock down (we may have that ability in the near future) or should we try to prepare our youth for adulthood more quickly (i.e. preschool by 2 or 3, graduate from college at 18-20)???
The thing that is ticking me off is not the age thing. There are people out their that can step up to the plate and do a fine job. But those are not the people saying I want to have kids at 19 so I can be 37 and then be free. Your job doesn't end when the kid turns 18 and my heart breaks for children that were shown the door at 18 and are struggling. I have seen kids drop out of school like flies because they cannot afford it and are too young to apply for finaid.
I'm so lucky to have parents that are sticking with me because times are hard and it is just wrong to say you are done on their 18th birthday. Why have kids in the first place if their such a burden?
Back when people died at 40, having kids at 20 made sense. It doesn't anymore. Now we have to see to our educations and establish careers before having kids to make sure we can care for them. That puts having kids into the late 20's, which is not a problem given we're now living to be 80 as a matter of routine.
Times have changed but human biology hasn't. There is a reason these women in their 30s+ are struggling with infertility, running to third world countries to adopt children before they no longer qualify or otherwise dealing with the consequences of their clock running out (or winding down).
Women are not made, by and large, to be giving birth well into middle age.
Neither are men, as their sperm quality degenerates, too, as they age.
The thing that is ticking me off is not the age thing. There are people out their that can step up to the plate and do a fine job. But those are not the people saying I want to have kids at 19 so I can be 37 and then be free. Your job doesn't end when the kid turns 18 and my heart breaks for children that were shown the door at 18 and are struggling. I have seen kids drop out of school like flies because they cannot afford it and are too young to apply for finaid.
I'm so lucky to have parents that are sticking with me because times are hard and it is just wrong to say you are done on their 18th birthday. Why have kids in the first place if their such a burden?
Awww man...........
I had my daughter when I was young and I never felt that way.
She's in grad school now and I am still and will always be her mother. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night thinking about her. I still ask if she needs $$$ everytime I see her, but she just laughs.
The thing that is ticking me off is not the age thing. There are people out their that can step up to the plate and do a fine job. But those are not the people saying I want to have kids at 19 so I can be 37 and then be free. Your job doesn't end when the kid turns 18 and my heart breaks for children that were shown the door at 18 and are struggling. I have seen kids drop out of school like flies because they cannot afford it and are too young to apply for finaid.
I'm so lucky to have parents that are sticking with me because times are hard and it is just wrong to say you are done on their 18th birthday. Why have kids in the first place if their such a burden?
Just who do you think said that anyway....that they wanted their kids young JUST SO they could get on with THEIR life later? Geesh, that type of person doesn't usually even have kids because they are too self absorbed with their own life to bother. And if you could do basic you would see that I posted the age at which my youngest would be 22, not 18. She should be graduated from college by then and on her own....unless you think she needs to hang around my house until she is 30 and old enough to have her own kids.
I just can't get over how some of you are lumping everyone together, assuming because SOME are not ready when they have kids young that no one should. It doesn't make sense. That's like saying because some kids don't take care of their pets then no kids should have pets. Because some people don't drive responsibly no one should drive, because some people get drunk and pee on sidewalks no one should drink...come on people, is it possible that not everyone's brain goes back to normal size at age 25 or are some of you younger still??
Last edited by NCyank; 02-05-2009 at 07:54 PM..
Reason: Clarification
Times have changed but human biology hasn't. There is a reason these women in their 30s+ are struggling with infertility, running to third world countries to adopt children before they no longer qualify or otherwise dealing with the consequences of their clock running out (or winding down).
Women are not made, by and large, to be giving birth well into middle age.
Neither are men, as their sperm quality degenerates, too, as they age.
That's not true. If you're going to use the biology argument, at least be accurate about it. Yes, you're right women were not made to have kids at 40 years old, etc. It's very hard by that point. But men? Absolutely men were made to father kids well into their middle age, no problem. That's one reason why historically men like younger women, because men can have kids at almost any age, women cannot.
There's no use behind young people who have accomplished nothing in their lives having kids. It's just pathetic. What do they have to teach anyone else?! NOTHING. They don't know anything themselves yet.
That's not true. If you're going to use the biology argument, at least be accurate about it. Yes, you're right women were not made to have kids at 40 years old, etc. It's very hard by that point. But men? Absolutely men were made to father kids well into their middle age, no problem. That's one reason why historically men like younger women, because men can have kids at almost any age, women cannot.
There's no use behind young people who have accomplished nothing in their lives having kids. It's just pathetic. What do they have to teach anyone else?! NOTHING. They don't know anything themselves yet.
Older men may be able to reproduce until they die, but that old ass sperm is linked to autism, mental disorders and developmental problems.
Who are you to argue that one hasn't accomplished anything when they are, say, the traditionally "normal" (20s) age to have kids? By the time I graduated from college, I was well experienced in my field, bought a house a year later and financially stable.
Just because some people take longer to grow up doesn't discount those who do so at an expected pace.
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You can't without infringing on "rights". I have no idea why being given full control over another human being is a right. It shouldn't be. 
You, yourself made a strong argument for older parents being better parents. 
