Why are people SO obsessed with kids these days? (infants, weight, booster seat)
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Because instead of trying to be a family, parents just buy their kids some crap at wal mart and the new game system on christmas. i didn't mean spoiled like they get too much attention, I meant more like they think they're a Hilton....
But I think the OP is saying that they get too much attention, not too much stuff, so I didn't see where this fit with that.
Oh, and here's one major pet-peeve of mine from recent years... letting kids watch movies/DVDs in the car. WTH??? What ever happened to making children behave and entertain themselves, or talk with their family members? My friend with 4 kids said "you try driving 4 kids around without that to keep them busy," and my response was that my mother managed to raise 3 kids without a car DVD player - complete with a few long road trips. She conceded on that one, and admitted that parents today are wimpier.
You are forgetting that back in the day when kids would have been expected to behave and quietly entertain themselves in the car, kids were just haphazardly thrown in the back of dad's station wagon. These days, with mandatory car seat use, kids have less freedom in the vehicle. I would have been more likely to "behave" while stretched out playing quietly in the back of my family car on long car trips than strapped into a sit so that I could barely move.
I am not knocking car seats, my husband is a car seat safety tech, but I think that it is a lot to ask of young children to sit strapped in the car with nothing to do.
We have a DVD player in our van for our 4 children. They are only allowed to watch it on trips over an hour long. I think the key is using it in moderation, just like most everything.
This post isn't bashing kids, it's bashing adults' view of them, somewhat anyway, I'm happy kids are treated better and with higher regard now, but maybe it's too much. I'm 18, nearly a child myself, so the experience of BEING a kid is fresh on my mind.
Why are kids seen as sacred cows these days? Sure it's better than the days where they were to "be seen and not heard", but like everything else, we've swung a problem into the wrong direction to the point it's as big as a problem as what it's replaced.
The reason kids are so holy these days is because the current generation of parents grew up in the latch-key era where parents didn't really care about kids, and society looked down on them (70s and 80s).
These kids now have kids of their own, and because they feel empathy due to their own experiences, anything bad that happens to a child is a million times worse than anything that happens to an adult.
That's why in the past 20 years you'll hear news reports specify if anyone is a child in a disaster where multiple people die, like somehow an adult dying is far less tragic (it almost reminds me of "American deaths" ).
This explains why kids now are never let outside, why people have this idea that pedophiles are the only evil in this world and nothing else is even nearly as bad, why music is so kiddie, why adults try to look like kids, and why there's so many lawsuits in the name of kids.
Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT asking for the old days back, and I always hated when adults would say I'm stupid because I'm young, or say blowharded things like "I've been around the block a few times" or "you'll see when you're older", but it's gone too far.
People do way too many things for "the sake of the children" which really makes life for both us kids AND adults suck. We can't go outside, moms can't trust their kids' fathers, and the worst thing is that when we grow up we're told since we're no longer innocent we no longer matter as much as people who are still less than 18.
See what I'm on to?
I think that your view on this will change when you become a parent yourself. Are some parents too lenient with their children? Of course, just the same as the fact that some parents are too strict and border on abusive.
I think that the key is that we DO live in a different world than when most of us were growing up. No one is saying that pedophiles are the only dangers out there, they are just more well known. People don't know their neighbors anymore, so how can you possibly trust them with your children?
It is a broad generalization to say that parents don't let their kids outside anymore. When I was growing up (I'm almost 31) I was not allowed to leave my yard to play around the neighborhood with all of my friends. Now that I have kids I understand why. My kids play outside in our front and back yard and at playgrounds, but I am not comfortable with them roaming the neighborhood solo, no matter how safe it appears from the outside.
Their really are scary things happening in our world that most people don't even know about. My husband is a cop, and the stories he has about things happening in our small little town in Maine would curl your hair. Just because you don't know about dangers, doesn't mean that they don't exist.
At the risk of sounding cliche, you are really just a child yourself. Turning 18 doesn't automatically make you an "adult"-- life experience does. You never know what kind of parent YOU will be until you actually experience it.
But I think the OP is saying that they get too much attention, not too much stuff, so I didn't see where this fit with that.
They get plenty of Disney Land attention yeah, but not genuine attention. They get plenty of media attention for this agenda or that. But they don't get sitting on dad's knee, or listening to grandma's dusty old stories attention.
These kids now have kids of their own, and because they feel empathy due to their own experiences, anything bad that happens to a child is a million times worse than anything that happens to an adult.
I'm not sure if you were just referring to "anything bad that happen" as only death, but bad things other than death done to children is worse than bad things happening to an adult. The child brain is still developing, and building major connections between events and feelings, that an adult's brain is not.
So, for example, the effect on a child from something done to them by a sexual predator, is much greater than the same thing done to an adult.
Something "bad that happens to you" is different than "a bad decision you made and something bad happened". There are definitely things percieved as "bad" by some parents, that should be used as learning experiences to build powerful brain connections.
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Originally Posted by chielgirl
I agree Mimzy.
I've always wondered at what age life becomes less valuable.
The "it's the children" cry always irritates me.
Are not all humans as valuable?
The point is not that life becomes less valuable at 18, but rather that you are capable of adequately representing yourself and taking care of yourself at that age. You don't need a government watchdog when you can hire a lawyer.
The point is not that life becomes less valuable at 18, but rather that you are capable of adequately representing yourself and taking care of yourself at that age. You don't need a government watchdog when you can hire a lawyer.
So being "responsible" suddenly at that magical age means people are excused from having human compassion for you?
So being "responsible" suddenly at that magical age means people are excused from having human compassion for you?
Mimzy, do you have an example? Because I can't think of any instance where someone would not have compassion for a rape victim/kidnapping victim/someone killed or maimed in a fire/etc. of any age. You know, things where the victim is truly a VICTIM.
If you are talking about why people are more concerned with children's hunger than your average adult Joe's hunger (which is the example that I can think of where I personally would be more concerned with the kids), the reason is as stated above: adults usually have the resources to handle these sorts of things. If average adult Joe does not want to get a job to pay for his food, or does not apply for food stamps or what have you, then it's really Joe's problem. If Joe does not have enough money to feed his children, though, then that tugs at the heartstrings. Little Joey Jr. does not have the resources to obtain his own food. Maybe that's not really waht you're talking about though?
Mimzy, do you have an example? Because I can't think of any instance where someone would not have compassion for a rape victim/kidnapping victim/someone killed or maimed in a fire/etc. of any age. You know, things where the victim is truly a VICTIM.
If you are talking about why people are more concerned with children's hunger than your average adult Joe's hunger (which is the example that I can think of where I personally would be more concerned with the kids), the reason is as stated above: adults usually have the resources to handle these sorts of things. If average adult Joe does not want to get a job to pay for his food, or does not apply for food stamps or what have you, then it's really Joe's problem. If Joe does not have enough money to feed his children, though, then that tugs at the heartstrings. Little Joey Jr. does not have the resources to obtain his own food. Maybe that's not really waht you're talking about though?
I look at your statement as one of those lacking compassion.
Not all people are capable of holding a job, not all are born with a silver spoon or a high IQ. Everyone has limitations, some more than others.
I see needless pain and suffering of anyone as a tragedy. Age should be irrelevant.
How many hundreds of thousands of people have lost their jobs recently with no fault of their own, how many of these were overextended and now bankrupt, perhaps living on the streets?
Are these people not equally as valuable as all others?
Parents make the choice to live in expensive houses and lifestyles. Everything is about choice.
If you can't live a lifestyle that incorporates caring for you kids by providing guidance and love without it being a game of more more more junk, perhaps one should reconsider having kids at all.
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