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Growing up in Alabama I never thought about hitting my sister or any girl, because my dad would kill me. To this day my dad would still kill me. Kids now a days knows the system and will use it to their best instrest. They will tell you strait up, hit me and I'll put you in jail. This happened to me in Houston. I told his dad, I shouldn't hit him, I should kick your butt (his dad) for letting him get to that point. To tell you the truth, It's not the kids fault, It's the parents. You know, the ones that said, when I have kids, I'm going to make sure that they don't have to put up with what I did growing up. God help us in the years to come.......
I have this arguement with my husband on a daily basis
My children actually call him the "yesman"
because everytime they ask him for something the answer is yes
I try to inform him that just because we have the means does not make it an automatic that they should recieve
Isn't that giving them a false interpretation of what the "real world" is like
I have also told him that some of the S$%# our kids get away with ...he and I BOTH know would have been a death sentence in our day.
My 17 yr old talks back to me constantly
we could get away with alot of crud when we were coming up but heck.....if we EVER talked foul to my mother...my dad would have our heads on a platter
you just didn't do that!!!!!
Thankfully I am the strong one in our family
I have actually told my kids it would be hard for them to dial the number with broken fingers
Disclaimer no children actually recieve broken fingers...you don't have to do it they just have to have enough fear to think you might.
Yea, It sounds like your husband and my wife were made for each other. If I was brave, I'd sugest trading. lol joking. They need us! amen! In our house two things were for sure,
1. You never back talked or ran from your Mother! Dad would always say;
You may not like your mother, but, you will respect my wife!
2. You never hit a girl! sister, friend what ever. I made that mastate 1 time and that was enought for me.
We have no saveings because my wife things we have to do everything today. because tomorrow may never come. Because of my love , I let her get away with it. I know I'll pay down the road but, I'll have fun saying;
"I TOLD YOU SO "
As she & I are the future greeters @ Wal-Mart....:-(
By the way, I told our kids you may dial the number once. But, think about it before you do. Because when they come and get you (or me) That's it!
We do not have a return policy. Dad
I totally agree with that statements. While I am not saying my boys are perfect ; they drive me bananas, I feel so sorry for them. They are being raised with respect, obedience, caring boys who tell the truth.
Unforrtunately, they seem to be a minority here. We are immigrants and therefor are from the old school of thought. I dont beat the kids, I respect them and expect them to respect us. I never would ask them to pick up my dirty clothes, dirty dishes, therefore I expect them to pick up after themselves.
Thank goodness my dh has respect for me and therefore passes it onto the boys.
dorothy
I'm a teacher...and get to see some awful children. And then when I meet the parents, in my head I'm thinking..."no wonder!". Not all kids-I know that some kids have great parents and are still a handful no matter what you try...but a majority of children out there are misbehaving, and I blame the parents. The children shouldn't be punished-it should be the parents!
A school can't punish the parents if the child is incorrigible on campus. The child must learn to face consequences when exhibiting inappropriate behavior. If he or she has never been taught, maybe something will be learned in a school where consistency in discipline is enforced. Yes, it's a big job to endure for those who don't know right from wrong but to be fair to those that do, we must keep a learning atmosphere in the classrooms and do something about those that disrupt the process of learning.
Yes, parents are something else. Some of them dress very inappropriately, drink too much and let their children indulge as well, have no sense about violent or sexual movies and again, let their kids view them too, blast their pathetic music when bringing their children to school, let them spend hours on the internet and look at heaven only knows, leave them unsupervised, go out all the time so they'll have fun and leave the kids to fend for themselves, and the list goes on and on and on. Many parents values nowadays are disgusting. It's a crying shame.
I totally agree with that statements. While I am not saying my boys are perfect ; they drive me bananas, I feel so sorry for them. They are being raised with respect, obedience, caring boys who tell the truth.
Unforrtunately, they seem to be a minority here. We are immigrants and therefor are from the old school of thought. I dont beat the kids, I respect them and expect them to respect us. I never would ask them to pick up my dirty clothes, dirty dishes, therefore I expect them to pick up after themselves.
Thank goodness my dh has respect for me and therefore passes it onto the boys.
dorothy
You are a rarity, I'm afraid, but I absolutely love your post and your sons are very lucky to have you and their dad as role models. I love the "old school" ways, and I wish they never left us.
I was the meanest mom in the world. When my son was about 9, he said with tears in his eyes, "You are a child maneuser. You never let us do anything." I was so pleased with the title he gave me.
I also expected respect and didn't let them watch TV all hours of the night. Homework came before play, and they actually had responsibilities. I didn't go out and "party" or whatever it's called. I was there for them. I figured my time for "time away from the kids" would come when they reached 18. They came first as it was my responsibility since I chose parenthood as the most important job in the world. Any other job is useless unless one is a good parent. I'm pleased to say mine have grown into wonderful adults; I am very blessed.
Location: The Raider Nation._ Our band kicks brass
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I learned a long time ago that kids will do exactly what you expect them to do. If you expect them to be well behaved and have good manners, they will. If you expect them to be disrespectful idiots, they'll do that too. It's all up to you. When my kids were younger, I was always surprised how many people came up to us to say how well behaved they were. I always thanked them and said, "It's because that's what's expected of them."
I always told them, "We are in a parking lot. You will hold my hand, and you will walk beside me like a normal person." They never ran around stores. They never stood in a buggy, and they NEVER begged for treats or toys. There was no bargaining or bribing for good behavior.
If they wanted to run around like idiots at home, jump on the furniture, or build forts with couch cushions, that was fine. They knew that being out in public meant zero tolerance. Today, they are all straight A students. They are still well behaved. The oldest has a scholarship for college because of her grades. I would say they turned out pretty good.
I agree with everything being said...but how do we enact change? Do we just make sure that we are raising our own children to be respectful, responsible and kind adults?
Just a bit ago I was talking to a friend about this very subject and she said we need to start an etiquette school and teach the basics that seem to not be taught to children by their own parents.
We have some terribly bratty, spoiled children in our neighborhood and I have to keep telling myself that it's the parents' fault. The sad thing? These parents are nice, kind & respectful people so I do not understand why they allow their children to talk back to them, disrespect them & disobey them - constantly!
Quote:
To tell you the truth, It's not the kids fault, It's the parents. You know, the ones that said, when I have kids, I'm going to make sure that they don't have to put up with what I did growing up. God help us in the years to come.......
Woodzman - I hear this all the time from parents (especially my fellow Catholic friends who were raised & schooled in very strict atmospheres). One of my "favorites" is: we will never be like our parents. We don't discipline our children - it would break their spirit and humiliate them.
We end up sitting back and watching their 3 kids under 10 yrs of age manipulate them! The kids KNOW they manipulate their parents and laugh about "how stupid" mom or dad is.
SouthRangeFamily - Genuine applause for how you have raised your children! My parents were both ZERO Tolerance. My brother, who rebelled slightly, says he is so glad our parents were so strict with us. I've asked my mom on several occasions if we ever acted out in public & she looks at me with surprise and says, "Never. You just knew with a look from me or your father."
LOL - My brother and I are in our late 30s/early 40s - we have/had high level management/exec positions. Our dad thinks nothing of still using that look on us. It STILL shuts us both up...for a bit.
But looking back, we never actually feared our parents (who were quick with spankings or pinching) but we hated disappointing them. It got to a point that by the time I was a teenager, I didn't want to act out or defy them - it wasn't worth "the look" or the disappointment. They NEVER punished us with privileges being taken away, extra chores or missing something special.
We just immediately got a combination of a spanking, tongue-lashing or both. We were not allowed to mope or sit in our rooms. It was always back to business.
There was absolutely no bargaining (I'm lousy at bargaining for anything to this day) or begging or bribing. As my boss, who raised his children similarly, has told me, "Being a family is not about democracy. You want well-behaved children, you'd better stake your place as the absolute monarch or you'll have anarchy and those kids will be running your life."
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