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For what it’s worth, (and he’s lied a lot lately) he has given me his word that he did not have intercourse with her.
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Originally Posted by cleasach
I'm furious at what she is doing to your son and I don't even know any of you. It's just such a disgusting manipulation of a naive young man. Glad your husband is heading there anyway.
Thank you. I’m thinking she’s a narcissist as they typically follow a pattern.
I do hold him responsible because we warned him and he ignored us.
I’ve warned him a million times. I am truly terrified of this.
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You've got some great advice:
1). A hotel room when she moves out. 2) A police officer witness when she moves out. 3) A new apartment with a change of locks. 4) A restraining order.
This semester your son needs to go home after school at a reasonable time, and keep his head down until winter break. He'll miss a semester of socializing, but it's better than having her stalk him after-hours on campus and claiming IdK what. She isn't going to leave him alone.
Noted.
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Originally Posted by kj1065
You're not the only one who's furious. I'm livid on behalf of the OP's family. This young woman has made her son into an emotional hostage. She may need help, but the OP's family isn't obligated to provide it.
Thank you.
I truly do appreciate everyone’s support and advice and good wishes.
Having had several friends take their own lives when I was a teenager (you never get over that 40 years later), it sounds like this gal had full on plan to get what she wanted from your son and had a plan to carry out for each possible situation. She pulled the "kill myself" card because that usually freezes people in place. I don't want to sound unsympathetic but your boy does not need this in his life. Anyone who would threaten such a thing-- whether for real or for dramatic purposes-- requires help that he is unable to provide and sounds designed to stop him in his tracks from foiling her plan, whatever it is.
I'm furious at what she is doing to your son and I don't even know any of you. It's just such a disgusting manipulation of a naive young man. Glad your husband is heading there anyway.
My brother threatened suicide when he found out his ex-wife filed for a divorce and a restraining order. Another brother called 911 and the ambulance took him to the hospital, my elderly mother had to go and pick him up that night. I came home after the commotion was over, my mother's face was beet red, she was so upset and had such high blood pressure, I'll never forget her face that night. My mom and I never spoke to my sister-in-law after that night she made the sneak attack on my brother with the police, now my brother and her reconciled and they are good friends, and I don't talk to either of them, my mother passed last December.
My brother threatened suicide when he found out his ex-wife filed for a divorce and a restraining order. Another brother called 911 and they took him to the hospital, my elderly mother had to go and pick him up that night. I came home after the commotion was over, my mother's face was beet red, she was so upset and had such high blood pressure, I'll never forget her face that night. I never spoke to my sister-in-law after that night she made the sneak attack on my brother with the police, now my brother and her reconciled and they are good friends, and I don't talk to either of them.
I had an elderly relative, long deceased of natural causes, who repeatedly threatened suicide to manipulate other family members. It's a terrible thing to do to people. My father lost his patience one night and called the suicide hotline, who in turn contacted police for a welfare check. It was ugly, but it ended the drama. She never spoke to my father again.
I had an elderly relative, long deceased of natural causes, who repeatedly threatened suicide to manipulate other family members. It's a terrible thing to do to people. My father lost his patience one night and called the suicide hotline, who in turn contacted police for a welfare check. It was ugly, but it ended the drama. She never spoke to my father again.
And the thing is, most people who commit suicide don’t tell anyone or threaten it.
I’m really considering calling for a welfare check. I just don’t know what to do.
And the thing is, most people who commit suicide don’t tell anyone or threaten it.
I’m really considering calling for a welfare check. I just don’t know what to do.
As I wrote earlier, the best thing might be for your son to hold tight (and not sleep with her!) until your husband gets there. Hopefully, he's already on his way. I don't suggest calling for a welfare check. It would just get ugly, and your son doesn't have any support to help him through it.
I'd have the son go check into a motel or stay with friends. Block her on his phone. No telling what crazy will do, but she'd not be able to work on his emotions if she can't find him. He could call in at work so she can't find him there. If she actually has any friends in town maybe she'd go to them, if she realizes the party is over. She probably wants an audience to air her grievances to. I don't know if the PM could cut electricity to the apartment, but that would be a nice move.
He started talking to her about a hotel because his Dad is on his way. She didn’t want to go to a hotel, so she finally called a friend in a neighboring city about 45 minutes away who agreed to take her in. He drove her down there. Thankfully she doesn’t have a car so it won’t be super easy for her to get back up to the bigger city where he lives.
He said she was scaring him on the drive down there because she was talking crazy. (No surprise there). He said her being rude to me was what opened his eyes as to her character. (Or lack thereof).
My husband is still going tomorrow and will be there for a few days just in case. Now we have to pray she doesn’t accuse him of anything, doesn’t stalk him, etc. I am hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.
Again, sincere thanks to the many of you who offered support and advice. I am taking everything into consideration. Sometimes this forum falls apart, but this time it worked in a way that was very helpful and when I really needed good advice. Thank you.
Last edited by calgirlinnc; 09-15-2022 at 10:19 PM..
Thank goodness! I'm glad your husband will be there soon. Your son will need his support after everything he's been through. What a nerve-wracking day for your family!
I hope he blocks her from any further contact. 45 minutes is not that far away and her friend(s) might get fed up and bring her back in a few days.
Good luck.
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