We Think Our Son is Being Used — He Thinks We’re Unreasonable (teenage, divorce)
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At this point, I think the best thing your son can do is to wait for your husband to arrive and then have the landlord serve an eviction notice. She's a wild card, and I wouldn't want your son to be in harm's way if she goes off the deep end. Your husband should ensure your son is in a safe place while this happens. Give her time to pack, and then have the landlord escort her off the property. If you are feeling generous, your husband could hand her a couple of hundred dollars, an investment in her music career or a bus ticket home. Whatever. It's up to her to decide how to spend it, but she must understand that in exchange, she may not contact your son again, and if she does, you will seek a restraining order. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you are onto her game and that you will do whatever is necessary to protect your son from her manipulation. Make sure the locks are re-keyed before your son returns to the apartment at the very least. Better yet, break the lease, eat the fees, and move him home.
Thank you for the ideas.
We are unlikely to move him home due to the college, but the property manager discussed moving him to another unit. They make it look like he is moving out, but they secretly relocate him within the building. It’s not their first rodeo I guess.
Last edited by calgirlinnc; 09-15-2022 at 09:31 PM..
Are you sure that is a good idea? If she is still going to be there, what’s to guarantee that she doesn’t tear up the place or steal stuff?
Yep. That's why I suggested that the OP's son just hold tight until Dad arrives to make a plan for eviction with the property manager. Someone who threatens to commit suicide after just a few days is either not right in the head or a skilled manipulator. She cannot be trusted. One complication is that she probably knows where the son works, so trying to secretly relocate him within the apartment complex may not work. She'd know exactly where to find him.
Having had several friends take their own lives when I was a teenager (you never get over that 40 years later), it sounds like this gal had full on plan to get what she wanted from your son and had a plan to carry out for each possible situation. She pulled the "kill myself" card because that usually freezes people in place. I don't want to sound unsympathetic but your boy does not need this in his life. Anyone who would threaten such a thing-- whether for real or for dramatic purposes-- requires help that he is unable to provide and sounds designed to stop him in his tracks from foiling her plan, whatever it is.
I'm furious at what she is doing to your son and I don't even know any of you. It's just such a disgusting manipulation of a naive young man. Glad your husband is heading there anyway.
What if he's guilty of statutory rape? Get him away from her as quick as possible.
Or, a false rape charges-
Quote:
When one looks at a series of fabricated sexual assaults, on the other hand, patterns immediately begin to emerge. The most striking of these is that, almost invariably, adult false accusers who persist in pursuing charges have a previous history of bizarre fabrications or criminal fraud. Indeed, they’re often criminals whose family and friends are also criminals; broken people trapped in chaotic lives.
But while false accusers often have similar histories, they have various motives. These can be divided into roughly four categories: personal gain, mental illness, revenge, and the need for an alibi.
Your son sounds like a sweet guy who met the wrong girl.
You've got some great advice:
1). A hotel room when she moves out. 2) A police officer witness when she moves out. 3) A new apartment with a change of locks. 4) A restraining order.
This semester your son needs to go home after school at a reasonable time, and keep his head down until winter break. He'll miss a semester of socializing, but it's better than having her stalk him after-hours on campus and claiming IdK what. She isn't going to leave him alone.
Having had several friends take their own lives when I was a teenager (you never get over that 40 years later), it sounds like this gal had full on plan to get what she wanted from your son and had a plan to carry out for each possible situation. She pulled the "kill myself" card because that usually freezes people in place. I don't want to sound unsympathetic but your boy does not need this in his life. Anyone who would threaten such a thing-- whether for real or for dramatic purposes-- requires help that he is unable to provide and sounds designed to stop him in his tracks from foiling her plan, whatever it is.
I'm furious at what she is doing to your son and I don't even know any of you. It's just such a disgusting manipulation of a naive young man. Glad your husband is heading there anyway.
You're not the only one who's furious. I'm livid on behalf of the OP's family. This young woman has made her son into an emotional hostage. She may need help, but the OP's family isn't obligated to provide it.
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