Middle aged kids choosing not to get married or have kids (toddler, pregnant)
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It is not consoling yourself if you rule out parenthood because you know perfectly well you cannot deal with a kid with disabilities. It is self-awareness.
Sure. Whatever. There is some angst that drives the childfree in mass droves to talk about their choices on parenting forums all over the internet. I've been seeing this for years. I have to wonder, if their lifestyle is so great, why aren't they out traveling the world, dating interesting people and focusing on their careers? Seems they don't do much of this at all.
To me this is kind of the many flaws of USA ( Im american but also 2nd generation) , Debt i feel is the main factor to ppl not having kids or doing things they want to do . But on the other side where my heritage resides , not having kids or not getting married is like a taboo and im sure its like that in other countries.
In the US, not having children isn't a flaw or taboo. People may just be practical. We don't have traditions and cuyfrom the old country because we are a melting pot of all countries. Many nations could drastically decrease the number of children born and it would be good for the nation overall. Millions of children every year die of starvation and disease in Africa. That's horrible!
Sure. Whatever. There is some angst that drives the childfree in mass droves to talk about their choices on parenting forums all over the internet. I've been seeing this for years. I have to wonder, if their lifestyle is so great, why aren't they out traveling the world, dating interesting people and focusing on their careers? Seems they don't do much of this at all.
We aren't interested in traveling the world. We have done most of the traveling in the US that we've wanted to do. Even when traveling there's down time and we can be on the internet using CD. Most people can't travel whenever they want or afford to travel the world. That career affects that. So does debt such as student loans.
We've been married for over 20 years. So why would we date anyone?
We are focused on our careers. We both work a lot of hours. We both travel periodically with our jobs. I'll be home for 1 week the entire month of January.
You don't see what people do at home in their real life. You don't see how I spent my weekend - going to farm stands, decorating for Halloween, working, cooking, chores, etc. why doesn't anyone talk about that stuff? It's boring! It's life.
Sure. Whatever. There is some angst that drives the childfree in mass droves to talk about their choices on parenting forums all over the internet. I've been seeing this for years. I have to wonder, if their lifestyle is so great, why aren't they out traveling the world, dating interesting people and focusing on their careers? Seems they don't do much of this at all.
This is a public forum as long as they’re respectful everyone should feel free to comment. If parents can comment about why they had children why shouldn’t the childless person be able to comment on why they didn’t. This post is actually about people who made a choice not to have children. You might not like the reason why but that doesn’t make it any less valid. I would much rather someone decide before hand that parenthood isn’t for them, then realize it after the baby is born. With the amount of child neglect and abuse in this world the last thing we need is to shame and make snarky comments about people who don’t want children. Before you even ask yes I am a parent.
BellaMarie1, where are you? Are you already bored with this thread you started? Are you upset that you're not getting the righteous indignation you seem to be looking for?
My parents were 28 when they had me. While they were not "older" parents, many of my peers were had parents five to ten years younger than my parents. While they aren't in bad health, they won't have as much time with their grandchildren as their parents had with me. Three of my four grandparents are in their early 80s and are still alive. My first grandparent died when I was 23. I have a cousin that will be 40 next year, and the grandparents are still alive on that side. The 40 year old cousin had an 18 year old daughter and my grandparents got to see their great-granddaughter grow up into an adult. That's uncommon and pretty special IMO.
I'm 31 now. The youngest I could reasonably have a child would be 32 (birthday is in April). When that child graduates high school, I would be no younger than 50. My parents would be pushing 80. When they graduate college, let's say I'll be 55. I would like to be retired by 60. That's not a lot of wiggle room for those milestone events.
When I was 18, I dated a woman who was 35 then. She had a daughter who was my age (she had the daughter at either 16/17), and the youngest daughter would be 21 now. She is 48 now with even the youngest daughter having a child. All the kids are grown and gone and she has a good bit of middle age left.
A manager at a former workplace had his first childhood at 45. Wife is a couple years younger than him, but not much. They had another two years later when he was 47. That's just too old IMO, especially with the mom being around that age. Both are in high pressure jobs - he works for a tech company at least 50 hours/week, commutes 70 miles each way, and she is a high school principal - and neither are around for the kids much at the peak years of their career. He will be in mid-late 60s when the kids graduate high school.
I've basically decided that if it hasn't happened for me by 35 - and that's just a little over three years out, I probably won't have kids. If it hasn't happened by 40, I'm not having them. I don't think it's necessarily fair to the child for a way older than average parent.
I will go against the tide and say yes, I think something was up with your parenting to make both of your kids vehemently opposed to having children.
Children are not the curse people nowadays claim they are. In fact, from a biblical perspective they are a blessing. Parents who raise kids in a healthy environment and really emphasize family life will tend to have kids who will want to eventually recreate that in their own lives. I see it time and time again. Yes, today's financial pressure play a role, but people who really want children don't let that stop them.
I will go against the tide and say yes, I think something was up with your parenting to make both of your kids vehemently opposed to having children.
Children are not the curse people nowadays claim they are. In fact, from a biblical perspective they are a blessing. Parents who raise kids in a healthy environment and really emphasize family life will tend to have kids who will want to eventually recreate that in their own lives. I see it time and time again. Yes, today's financial pressure play a role, but people who really want children don't let that stop them.
Biblical? Many folks aren't religious so anything biblical doesn't matter.
I haven't seen anyone say children are a curse. I've seen people say they have reasons for not having children. People have their own reasons for having or not having children and the reasons are their own private reasons.
Biblical? Many folks aren't religious so anything biblical doesn't matter.
I haven't seen anyone say children are a curse. I've seen people say they have reasons for not having children. People have their own reasons for having or not having children and the reasons are their own private reasons.
Exactly.
At the end of the day, people have their own reasons for having and not having kids.
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