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Same here -- kind of suspicious first post -- the obvious answer is that two year olds need hugs and cuddling from parents. If a kid is 13 or older, maybe not so much.
My son is 2 years old. I've never been very close to him especially because he's already asleep when I get home most days and he's still asleep when I leave him the morning.
I don't tolerate bad behaviour or impoliteness. I certainly won't be raising a spoiled brat like you see around so much these days. He knows that when I say no or tell him to stop, he'll suffer consequences if he doesn't comply. He does most of the time, though.
However, I notice that when he sees his mother at the end of the day, he spontaneously goes running to her for a hug whereas when he comes to me, he always looks down and asks if he can give me a kiss.
I thought this was normal and I think you shouldn't make him feel too at ease because his mother babies him so much already. However, my partner told me to watch carefully how he acts around me. She says he acts like a little soldier and not like a small boy around his father.
She also says she doesn't understand how I've never told him I love him. I mean, I never thought about it that way or that he would care much about it since she already smuggles him with hugging and kissing.
Do you think that it makes a difference him?
You are wrong with what you do. If you are absent from his daily activities, you are not in position of being the disciplinary. Today he is little, but with time he will consider your approach fundamentally unfair.
As for showing love, you can only give what you got in your childhood.
It's not a troll post. It's very similar to my experience with my daughter when she was 2.
All I heard was "mamma this mamma that". Nothing I did seemed to make a bit of difference.
Then the day hit that all she wanted was me. And we spent as much time. "Daddy play with me" "daddy play princesses with me" "daddy go to the potty with me" "daddy hold my hand". And now I spent lots of time.
I don't think his experience is unusual - nor is it something to worry about. Just be him.
But do tell you son that you love him. That is important.
My dad is a 'man's man', ex military, etc. Behavior-wise, he expected a lot. However, there was no doubt in my mind, ever, that he loves me more than life itself. You can do both.
And I will say, that for a very masculine guy, he could hold his pinkie out at a little girl's tea party with the best of them! He managed to make time for the things that mattered to us kids, no matter what his personal preferences might have been. Several times he got me out of bed late, and carried me to the barn in my nightie, to see the new little kittens because he knew how much it would mean to me (despite my mother's common-sense scolding of both of us). He knew when to have discipline, but also when not to...
I'm very glad my father instilled discipline, consistency, responsibility, honesty, and so on. I'm equally glad that he never lost his child-like sense of wonder, and that he instilled that as well.
Best wishes to you and your son - may you find your way to balance each other.
My son is 2 years old. I've never been very close to him especially because he's already asleep when I get home most days and he's still asleep when I leave him the morning.
I don't tolerate bad behaviour or impoliteness. I certainly won't be raising a spoiled brat like you see around so much these days. He knows that when I say no or tell him to stop, he'll suffer consequences if he doesn't comply. He does most of the time, though.
However, I notice that when he sees his mother at the end of the day, he spontaneously goes running to her for a hug whereas when he comes to me, he always looks down and asks if he can give me a kiss.
I thought this was normal and I think you shouldn't make him feel too at ease because his mother babies him so much already. However, my partner told me to watch carefully how he acts around me. She says he acts like a little soldier and not like a small boy around his father.
She also says she doesn't understand how I've never told him I love him. I mean, I never thought about it that way or that he would care much about it since she already smuggles him with hugging and kissing.
Do you think that it makes a difference him?
When you "baby" a baby it's called parenting. And make no mistake a two year old is a baby.
Do you know what you call men who are comfortable giving and receiving affection? REAL men. Do you know what you call their children and wives? Happy.
I hope you would want to raise you child, regardless of gender, to know that he/she is loved. But if you do not show it and you do not say it how are they supposed to know?
Men and women relate to their children differently. For CENTURIES men had little or no contact with their children until they got older, and they certainly did not tell them that they loved them, in the grand scheme of things it did not do any harm. I think that telling him "once in a while" that you love him should be sufficient. It is more important, I think to set an example about how to treat a woman, how to earn a living, how to be honest, truthful, responsible. I realize that he is only 2, but it's never too young to instill solid values into a child's mind. You'd be amazed what they can understand.
20yrsinBranson
You really need to learn some human history. This notion you have that men had little contact with their children is just plain old not true until recently and primarily in this country.
Agreed - 2 is still a baby. It may not seem like that when it's your first and you are in the moment, but looking back, they are babies still.
My husband is very strict background, is a police officer, but hugs our sons and tells them he loves them every day. Spends an hour after work on the floor with them being silly. Not an excuse.
Never heard of a man complaining their father loved them too much. NEVER. There is a big difference between spoiling with materials and spoiling with love. No such thing as spoiling with love.
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