How to deal with a pregnant teen (child support, infant, support)
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I hope his parents aren't just being vindictive. Good lord. Nobody wanted to be that way. All they had to do was call my daughter OR knowing their son sees her three times a week, have him ask her to ring the baby to their house. It wouldn't have been a problem.
His dad is involved in his every move. When they were setting up visitation schedules, he was texting his dad for advice. I'm kind of glad now that my daughter and fob are not in a relationship any longer. I just don't get them at all. In the hospital he was still making sure he said loudly enough "just make sure the baby's yours". Now this.
I'm so glad I never had to deal with any of this and glad we have an attorney.
I'm a nervous wreck on the inside about this whole thing.
I know that was never the intent; however, three days isn't enough notice if someone gets paid biweekly or monthly. He probably bought the supplies with his parents' money. It really is hard to budget without knowing what the expenses will be. I realize your daughter doesn't even know what the expenses will be too. They just want a set amount---as low as possible.
That's a very good point. Certainly not something either one of us thought of. Maybe until they do go to court, they should set up a schedule of what to get and when. That way there is at least some sort of plan.
I forget what it costs for baby things.
I never thought about it. Just ran and got things. I didn't have to plan ahead.
Time for my daughter to take inventory and plan from there.
I wonder if the dad's dad being involved has something to do with the fact that the grandparents on that side lied about sending you a text about wanting to see the baby, just a thought.
This was my first thought. I think it has more to do with them wanting the baby to spend time at their house then anything else.
I'm a nervous wreck on the inside about this whole thing.
Don't be. It's going to be okay. They want court. They get court. It's best in the long run. No matter how bad it gets, remind yourself it's probably a thousand times better than if they had stayed together. His father sounds unstable and unhealthy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerseyt719
That's a very good point. Certainly not something either one of us thought of. Maybe until they do go to court, they should set up a schedule of what to get and when. That way there is at least some sort of plan.
I forget what it costs for baby things.
I never thought about it. Just ran and got things. I didn't have to plan ahead.
Time for my daughter to take inventory and plan from there.
I got the impression they weren't as financially well off as your family. Since he's not working, he probably went to them and said he needed money for baby stuff. That's probably what got the ball rolling.
It might also have something to do with their fabricated story of not being able to see the baby. They left that hospital totally content that their son's name wasn't on the birth certificate. As the weeks went on, they realized they don't have a legal leg to stand on as grandparents until is name is on the certificate.
It is a good thing to get a legal custody/child support in place, then the costs of baby can be fair. I also can not imagine that the court would rule in favor of baby's dad to have overnight visits away from mom, not for a few years anyway. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts that everything goes smoothly.
Don't be. It's going to be okay. They want court. They get court. It's best in the long run. No matter how bad it gets, remind yourself it's probably a thousand times better than if they had stayed together. His father sounds unstable and unhealthy.
I got the impression they weren't as financially well off as your family. Since he's not working, he probably went to them and said he needed money for baby stuff. That's probably what got the ball rolling.
It might also have something to do with their fabricated story of not being able to see the baby. They left that hospital totally content that their son's name wasn't on the birth certificate. As the weeks went on, they realized they don't have a legal leg to stand on as grandparents until is name is on the certificate.
You did get the correct impression. That has never mattered to any of us. I really judge by the content of people's characters.
Thank you for the encouragement about the worry. I've been so worried throughout this whole journey. I think it's second nature.
Today, fob came for his visit. She simply leaves him to spend his time with her and doesn't hover about which I think is great. The baby is going through a very hungry phase right now. One of those many growth spurts they go through as infants and just can't get enough to eat.
She was sooooo cranky and my daughter had to go in to help. Thankfully she had some bottles pumped ahead and ready to go. She gave him one to feed her but she was still very cranky. He was not happy about it.
It's interesting to watch these two young people figure out how to be parents. They are going through the same things we did. Trial and error. Boy do I remember those days!
All anyone has to do is call my daughter. She will take her to their house.
It doesn't really matter. I guess we will just wait and see what plays out.
When is the court date?
I agree that this is best to get it all "official" now... you can't help but be anxious but as Hopes said, it will be okay. It's your (and his family's) first rodeo, so to speak, but certainly not the court's.
I do have to wonder though if baby daddy's daddy may ultimately regret getting this ball rolling... you know, "be careful what you wish for?" The court may very well expect more from baby daddy than granddaddy thinks...and there won't be ANY innuendo about "be sure it's your baby" after all this
is said, done, and stamped!
I agree that this is best to get it all "official" now... you can't help but be anxious but as Hopes said, it will be okay. It's your (and his family's) first rodeo, so to speak, but certainly not the court's.
I do have to wonder though if baby daddy's daddy may ultimately regret getting this ball rolling... you know, "be careful what you wish for?" The court may very well expect more from baby daddy than granddaddy thinks...and there won't be ANY innuendo about "be sure it's your baby" after all this
is said, done, and stamped!
I have no idea. He just came out of the blue with this in the past two days. My daughter hasn't been petitioned yet.
The lawyer is taking a wait and see approach. Says there's nothing for her to do at this point other than wait and see what the petition says.
I just pray it all goes smoothly for her. We will support her throughout. No matter what.
You did get the correct impression. That has never mattered to any of us. I really judge by the content of people's characters.
I know you don't care about that. I brought it up because three days notice would be difficult if they are living paycheck to paycheck. By having support set, it can be budgeted. It may also be their way of forcing the father to take financial responsibility for his child instead of coming to them for money when he needs stuff.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerseyt719
Thank you for the encouragement about the worry. I've been so worried throughout this whole journey. I think it's second nature.
It's going to be okay! No matter what drama they dish out, you have a beautiful granddaughter, a daughter who is being incredibly responsible, younger children who are rising to the occasion, a loving, level headed husband, and nothing his family does will change those things!
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