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I think your initial response was due to shock and it's good that you took a few days to clear your thought process. One thing I've observed with teen parents is to much support and status quo during the pregnancy and then expecting them to take over once the baby is born. If your daughter wants that baby independence must start today. Step back and force them to make plans before the end of the first trimester. Advise her of what needs to be done regarding prenatal care and insurance but make her do all her own arrangements between her and the bf. I think she needs to deal with the reality of her choices while she still has options. Also you said you cannot house her so they need to start dealing with that asap.
Because at this point in her life she needs support, not tough love.
If my father had a 19 year old pregnant daughter he would probably throw her out the door in the moment. So I think trying to convince her to get an abortion is actually pretty soft.
If my father had a 19 year old pregnant daughter he would probably throw her out the door in the moment. So I think trying to convince her to get an abortion is actually pretty soft.
Well that's your father, and doesn't make it the correct course of action either.
It's unbelievable how many people are suggesting these 2 KIDS get married. What in the world will that accomplish? By the time the baby can even say "mommy and daddy" they'll be separated/divorced. Marriage is not the answer here at all. Kids having kids, it has F'd up so many families it's scary.
She is probably absolutely terrified right now and tough love is not the answer (in my opinion).
Based on what I've seen of pregnant teenagers, she's probably in la la land thinking it's going to be wonderful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasper03
I think your initial response was due to shock and it's good that you took a few days to clear your thought process. One thing I've observed with teen parents is to much support and status quo during the pregnancy and then expecting them to take over once the baby is born. If your daughter wants that baby independence must start today. Step back and force them to make plans before the end of the first trimester. Advise her of what needs to be done regarding prenatal care and insurance but make her do all her own arrangements between her and the bf. I think she needs to deal with the reality of her choices while she still has options. Also you said you cannot house her so they need to start dealing with that asap.
It's unbelievable how many people are suggesting these 2 KIDS get married. What in the world will that accomplish? By the time the baby can even say "mommy and daddy" they'll be separated/divorced. Marriage is not the answer here at all. Kids having kids, it has F'd up so many families it's scary.
I'm actually pretty surprised tbh. That's not something you typically see as advice in this day and age.
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