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I think it was a mistake on my parents part. They thought I was mature and I thought I was mature. We were wrong in my case. Again, I want more for my daughter than what I did. At 16 years old in the US a kid can usually only get a crap job (loaded with issues in itself) and life becomes a matter of survival where other opportunity (college, experience, etc) is forfeited. At 16, if she's game, I will pay her a wage to volunteer at a charity/org of her choice. She can do internships, join clubs, whatever rather than work a crap job she doesn't like- if she could even get one. Add a boy to that mix and it gets beyond stupid.
Why would adding a boy to that mix get beyond stupid? Like someone said earlier, its better for them to figure out this whole dating thing while they're still home with you, with the benefit of your advice and experience. Its not the end of the world if 16 year olds have sex - if you're done your job right then they will be doing it safely. Teen pregnancy rates are low over here so I don't have too much worries about that.
Most everyone posting had sex in high school ( many without regret) and our kids will too. Arm them with good info but don't expect or demand chastity. Out of your control.
Why would adding a boy to that mix get beyond stupid? Like someone said earlier, its better for them to figure out this whole dating thing while they're still home with you, with the benefit of your advice and experience. Its not the end of the world if 16 year olds have sex - if you're done your job right then they will be doing it safely. Teen pregnancy rates are low over here so I don't have too much worries about that.
I agree and dating is not the issue. It's sex and the subsequent adult relationship that results from sex. If my daughter just dates at 16 and is having casual sex then I will have failed as her parent. And my argument here is that if pregnancy were to happen, if the natural consequence of sex was on the table, she would not be in a position to handle that. If a person cannot handle the consequences of their behavior then I don't see how it's reasonable to engage in that behavior.
Most everyone posting had sex in high school ( many without regret) and our kids will too. Arm them with good info but don't expect or demand chastity. Out of your control.
It's about half, not most. Surprisingly many do wait until they are a bit older - college or whatever.
Lets face it... any boy is going to be intimidated by meeting dad so there's no point in trying to put on the Tough Guy act. I won't have a problem telling her though what I think of him... but I'm sure my opinion won't matter especially if I don't like him, LOL!
I think the fact that there is actually a Dad there to set examples and rules is a VERY important factor here.
I'm not a parent yet, but I would imagine whether my daughter or son got raped there's a chance I would meet violence with violence if I felt the justice system was not doing its job. Either scenario is horrible and one of many that I hope I don't have to deal with.
Well, this is far from parenting but for some women, their life is over after rape. Sometimes literally, they commit suicide.
These days, in a western society, no woman should ever feel like that. Well anywhere for that matter, but I do understand how in other countries the woman who is raped is stigmatized...nonetheless, as horrible as it is, picking yourself up and carrying on with your life is the best way to go on. I mean you still have your life.
I agree and dating is not the issue. It's sex and the subsequent adult relationship that results from sex. If my daughter just dates at 16 and is having casual sex then I will have failed as her parent. And my argument here is that if pregnancy were to happen, if the natural consequence of sex was on the table, she would not be in a position to handle that. If a person cannot handle the consequences of their behavior then I don't see how it's reasonable to engage in that behavior.
Sex isn't really an issue either as long as they are doing it safely. I agree that its not good for a teenager to get pregnant and it can be very hard for them to handle that - I think thats made worse by the teen being afraid that their parent would not be there to support them (not saying you wouldn't be but for example if I had gotten pregnant as a teenager I would have been extremely scared of telling my parents and asking for their advice and support). Nowadays, with abortion easily available, teen pregnancy isn't going to end a teenagers prospects (and of course if my daughter got pregnant and wanted to keep the baby I would support her fully in that too but in either case the likelihood of it happening is slim)
Full disclosure: I have no daughters. I have not read every comment. With that said:
1. It is women who bear the brunt of adverse results from sexual activity either through pregnancy which they might abort or carry to term and there are consequences for either one and BOTH have risks.
2. It is women who contract HIV far more easily than males.
3. It is women who are given date rape drugs and are more easily taken advantage of.
4. Violence against women sexually is far more prevalent than against males.
5. Males of course are far more supportive of looser restrictions for women so I would not be surprised at attitudes towards those who want to protect their daughters from the "let's get it on" bunch.
It is instinctive for many males to want to protect their women. It is built in to them. Chalk it up to evolution and biology but many a man has died trying to protect women or have gone to their own deaths because of the "women and children first" cultural phenomena. Not true in all societies but typically so in western ones.
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I think the fact that there is actually a Dad there to set examples and rules is a VERY important factor here.
