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Because the consequences of irresponsible sexuality for young men and women are so minor right?
Teen parents, lifelong STD's...mere inconveniences!
I can see why you would be confused. Threatening the life of someone else over their sexual choices with another person is quite confounding, isn't it?
I didn't say the possible consequences were minor. Don't put words in my mouth. There is a way to teach personal responsibility over one's body without acting as if your child's body is somehow your treasure to protect.
Don't people trust their daughters to make their own decision on who they date instead of relying on dad to make the final call? I expect my daughter will make some bad decisions and maybe get hurt, even get her heart broken, but thats a necessary part of growing up and neither I nor her father (or step dad) will have a say in who she gets involved with (or indeed when she has sex!)
Like no?! Ok? Didn't you know having a vagina automatically makes you a **** and stupid?! LIKE DUH.
To each their own, for sure. I won't expect my daughter to have the maturity and wisdom of an adult via experience as a teenager. Especially when it comes to adult activities like sex and relationships, as well as employment. Of course, people mature at different rates.
Nor would I expect adult experience from a teenager. However I will afford them the respect and courtesy of being in charge of their own bodies, being armed with the years of frank and open discussion and education DH and I have provided them with.
Like no?! Ok? Didn't you know having a vagina automatically makes you a **** and stupid?! LIKE DUH.
Parents are just expressing a desire to protect their children. I don't think anyone here has referred to their kid as a ****.
With that said, my step-sister, a person I am not close to and really don't see, has a 13 (to be 14 soon) year old daughter who was raped at the end of the school year. Her daughter met a guy who was local to their neighborhood in Queens via fb. He's been arrested I guess. It happened behind a public building. It doesn't make her a **** or stupid, but it does indicate that she was naive as many teens are. And her mom didn't know where she was or who she was with. It's hard for her as a divorced mom with zero support from her ex. The kids are often left on their own while she works. This is the kind of thing that a teen could easily get mixed up in, in today's tech world. And it's worrisome.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
Nor would I expect adult experience from a teenager. However I will afford them the respect and courtesy of being in charge of their own bodies, being armed with the years of frank and open discussion and education DH and I have provided them with.
There's an assumption here that the teen can reason maturely and have the ability to weigh consequences...future consequences to boot. Conversation alone won't be enough for me while my kid is still young. What is key here is that if a 16 year old were to get pregnant, it's her parents that would have to take on the responsibility of that consequence since that teen cannot support herself let alone a child. That does not give her charge over her life, let alone her body imo.
There's an assumption here that the teen can reason maturely and have the ability to weigh consequences...future consequences to boot. Conversation alone won't be enough for me while my kid is still young. What is key here is that if a 16 year old were to get pregnant, it's her parents that would have to take on the responsibility of that consequence since that teen cannot support herself let alone a child. That does not give her charge over her life, let alone her body imo.
Short of restricting her to a solitary confinement prison for the rest of her life, you can't prevent her from having sex. At some point you really have to hope that your parenting sunk in. Moderator Cut
Last edited by Jaded; 08-07-2013 at 12:13 AM..
Reason: inappropriate remark
It doesn't bother me that people want to keep their kids from making mistakes. I think it is natural for parents to want to protect their children from making mistakes when the stakes are high. The thing that bothers me is the idea that any time a teen girl has sex that she must have been forced into it and that some boy should be punished. It's as if parents of girls cannot acknowledge that their daughter might choose to have sex so they have to turn some boy into a rapist to come to terms with what their daughter did.
I don't think it is ideal for young teens to be sexually active. I actively work to make sure that my kids are not in a position where sexual activity is easy for them when they are young. However, if they do have sex you can be sure that the girl was willing and not forced. It bothers me that parents treat sex as if it were something that only boys want to do.
It doesn't bother me that people want to keep their kids from making mistakes. I think it is natural for parents to want to protect their children from making mistakes when the stakes are high. The thing that bothers me is the idea that any time a teen girl has sex that she must have been forced into it and that some boy should be punished. It's as if parents of girls cannot acknowledge that their daughter might choose to have sex so they have to turn some boy into a rapist to come to terms with what their daughter did.
I don't think it is ideal for young teens to be sexually active. I actively work to make sure that my kids are not in a position where sexual activity is easy for them when they are young. However, if they do have sex you can be sure that the girl was willing and not forced. It bothers me that parents treat sex as if it were something that only boys want to do.
I think you are making the same kind of sweeping generalizations about the parents of girls that you are frustrated about SOME (very few in my experience) of those parents making about teen boys.
Short of restricting her to a solitary confinement prison for the rest of her life, you can't prevent her from having sex. At some point you really have to hope that your parenting sunk in.
I would hope that parenting would sink in at that point but there is still no reason not to be up front and center with a teen as far as I can tell.
It doesn't bother me that people want to keep their kids from making mistakes. I think it is natural for parents to want to protect their children from making mistakes when the stakes are high. The thing that bothers me is the idea that any time a teen girl has sex that she must have been forced into it and that some boy should be punished. It's as if parents of girls cannot acknowledge that their daughter might choose to have sex so they have to turn some boy into a rapist to come to terms with what their daughter did.
I don't think it is ideal for young teens to be sexually active. I actively work to make sure that my kids are not in a position where sexual activity is easy for them when they are young. However, if they do have sex you can be sure that the girl was willing and not forced. It bothers me that parents treat sex as if it were something that only boys want to do.
That's what it's about imo and that's the appropriate role of a parent vs stepping aside.
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