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Ok- so she got in to the school where the Boyfriend attends-I have finally realized that she is comfortable there- been there often etc. My mother does not agree and thinks that she should go away out of state and AWAY from the boyfriend- we have not discussed it much with her. she just called a minute ago and I told her that she got the acceptance letter and she kinda went UGH....It really makes me mad b/c she should be so happy for her b/c it is a VERY WELL respected school and every other person talks about what a fine education she will get. As far as the boyfrtiend goes-that is their problem- they are still dating at the moment and I've reminded her that could change any time and would you still be happy there if it does- she says yes.
I learned a long time ago to not pay attention to what relatives think of my children and their decisions. Unless your mother is paying her tuition, her opinion doesn't matter.
My parents wanted me to go out of state, ideally to a small private college. I chose the big (but very good) public university in state. It worked out great for me. And yes, I married my high school boyfriend after (college) graduation, but even if that hadn't worked out I would have still been happy with my choice of school. It worked for me. It sounds like the school is a good fit, so there's no reason to go somewhere else just because the boyfriend is there, too. If things work out for them, then great; if not, she'll almost certainly meet many other wonderful people there, too. Congratulations to your daughter for getting into what sounds like a great school, and what is, presumably, a good fit for her for reasons that go far beyond just having a boyfriend there. (and, worse case scenario and it's not, she can transfer; a hassle, yes, but in the grand scheme of things not a huge deal) And if the concern is that students should go out of state for college: well, I stayed in the same city for college, left for graduate school, and only came back nearly ten years later. Now it looks like we might be moving again. (and besides, with all the summer internship programs and study abroad programs she can still get out of the city and experience new things and places, so it's not like she'll lack opportunities for exposure to totally new experiences and places. And besides, living somewhere as a college student and adult is very different than living there as a high school student.) It sounds like everything is working out well, so hopefully your mother will accept that and be content, or at least keep her concerns to herself.
Thanks- It's really noones business anyway- I am going to quit telling her things... She hangs out with her friends and most of their grandchildren have gone out of state---- My D wants to go to medical school-My dad was a doctor and he would be so proud-he passed away 4 years ago- and he was her first grandchild-I so wish he was here b/c he would say it is a great choice !!
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