college with a boyfriend (children, students, friends, adult)
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As a girl going into her sophomore year of college, I would say to advise your daughter on making the best possible decision for herself and her future, whether that includes the boyfriend or not. My best girl friend had been dating her BF for 3 years when she went to college. She contemplated going to college with him but luckily got into her dream school. Her boyfriend broke up with her a few months into her freshman year. If she had followed him to college, that would have been even more heartbreaking. I'm not saying this is necessarily going to happen, but it's a real possibility. The most important thing should be the college, if it fits her needs and she can afford it- not the boyfriend.
As a girl going into her sophomore year of college, I would say to advise your daughter on making the best possible decision for herself and her future, whether that includes the boyfriend or not. My best girl friend had been dating her BF for 3 years when she went to college. She contemplated going to college with him but luckily got into her dream school. Her boyfriend broke up with her a few months into her freshman year. If she had followed him to college, that would have been even more heartbreaking. I'm not saying this is necessarily going to happen, but it's a real possibility. The most important thing should be the college, if it fits her needs and she can afford it- not the boyfriend.
That would all be wonderful advice, if the daughter was paying her own way, or didn't need a parent to co-sign any loans.
If she was going off and not going to college, and planning on getting a job, moving in with the guy, and spending eternity in marital bliss, that's awesome.
But she's considering investing money that isn't hers, in a higher education at a school -specifically- because her current boyfriend goes to school there. So she's not just needing to be responsible for herself in this situation. She's needing to be responsible with someone else's finances. So it requires a little more effort than simply "let her do what she wants."
It's wonderful advice period. Loans, cosigners, blah blah blah....have nothing to do with the situation. It doesn't matter if it's a high school bf or a guy she meets during freshman orientation at the OTHER college that she dates for a year then breaks up with. These things happen and NOBODY can control it. Nobody said anything about giving up all logic to follow the bf, there was legitimate reasons that they may end up at the same college and the OP seemed to agree with that. Parent's should tell the kids to make their decisions based on their goals, and if that means going where the gf/bf go then that's what they should do. Parents need to keep their kids love live out of their own minds when making these decisions too.
Of course if the OP doesn't want to spend the extra $ there isn't even a debate, just say no. But don't say no just becasue the bf goes there.
I am continiously stressing over this- she really wants to go to the school where BF goes- It is also a very good school with her major etc. It is closer than i'd like her- only outside city limits but a college that is VERY reputable- I've decided to let her make the decision-Praying it is the right one- My mother and her counselor strongly disagree that they go to the same school- I have mixed feelings-Thanks for all of your thoughts tips advice....she is a great kid- but still not sure she is making the best decision....
Welp, make it clear you expect solid academic performance if you're going to keep paying for successive semesters so she better prioritize her time accordingly.
Welp, make it clear you expect solid academic performance if you're going to keep paying for successive semesters so she better prioritize her time accordingly.
I am continiously stressing over this- she really wants to go to the school where BF goes- It is also a very good school with her major etc. It is closer than i'd like her- only outside city limits but a college that is VERY reputable- I've decided to let her make the decision-Praying it is the right one- My mother and her counselor strongly disagree that they go to the same school- I have mixed feelings-Thanks for all of your thoughts tips advice....she is a great kid- but still not sure she is making the best decision....
I mean if the money if not that big of a difference then i say let her. If it's large or her grades have slipped since they started dating then no.
Those of you know my lovely teen daughter and her BF- he leaves for college tomorrow- it is a long 20 minute drive-It is a VERY good small liberal arts college-both his parents went there- and they wanted him there and NOT at a big university- My Daughter is a senior in HS-they have gone out for 1 1/2 years. She is a good A/B student- great score on ACt- we looked out of state- but it just doesn't make sense to spend that kind of money when we have good in state schools-she didn't make the full tuition scholarship- we don't think- she is very close- anyway she is now talking about going to his college- it has an excellent spanish program- which she is very interested in- I've talked to her alot about going to school with him etc. Not a good idea- I've discussed this with his dad- he agrees but they think they know it ALL. I keep thinking that he will get there and have some fun and break up with her but they really get along etc and do ALOT together.. It of course is more $$ than the universities... but we have a college plan that helps and they are generous with scholarship $$$ - What would you do?
Most likely he will start meeting college girls and break up with her and you won't have to worry about it.
Otherwise if their relationship is really strong it won't matter if she goes to another college. I don't think you should worry about coming up with extra money - just send her to the school you can afford.
Ok- so she got in to the school where the Boyfriend attends-I have finally realized that she is comfortable there- been there often etc. My mother does not agree and thinks that she should go away out of state and AWAY from the boyfriend- we have not discussed it much with her. she just called a minute ago and I told her that she got the acceptance letter and she kinda went UGH....It really makes me mad b/c she should be so happy for her b/c it is a VERY WELL respected school and every other person talks about what a fine education she will get. As far as the boyfrtiend goes-that is their problem- they are still dating at the moment and I've reminded her that could change any time and would you still be happy there if it does- she says yes.
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