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can we – especially adults – stop labeling every time someone is a jerk to us as bullying? no, you should not report her to the dean. You should start developing some backbone and stand up for yourself.
Unless you secretly *do* wish you were married or had children already, why would you let this bother you so much? You're 25. You know you're not old. You know today that most women (who may want to marry) are not married by 25. You're busy getting your education while you're unencumbered by responsibilities to others – that's smart! If you don't want to marry or have kids, it's nunna her bidness anyway.
Do you just take it or do you respond to her? You don't want to become nurse ratchet but you'll never make it as nurse doormat either.
Is she the student who is married? Develop some snappy comebacks. When she says you need to hurry up, you could look pensive and ask, "hmm. You're married. So maybe it's true when they say misery loves company?" let her chew on that one for a bit. Or a brisk "guess i'll take my chances!" work at not letting her get to you. You might even find that she'll respect you if you're not an easy target for teasing and become friends.
You're going to have lots of challenges as a nurse from doctors, other nurses, techs, admins, and patients and their families. You need to buck up and start developing better coping mechanisms and not expect to have someone else fight your battles for you.
[quote=Sassygirl18;51105343]Welcome to the wonderful world of being childfree by choice! And you are single by choice too! Double whammy.[quote]She has never asked me if I was in a relationship, she is just presuming that I am single. I am in a relationship right now.
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No, you are not being bullied so i think going to the Dean is an overreaction.
Maybe if it happened once I would just let it slide. But she has done it on more than one occasion which in my opinion warrants a visit to the Dean's office. What she is doing is so out of line and inappropriate. It's not nice at all
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The way to respond to people like this is to bust out laughing. Seriously. Like they are a total joke. Even if you feel insecure and hurt by what they say, you need to exude confidence and pride, even if you are faking it. And after you bust out laughing, add "yeah, misery loves company, right?" and wink at them. Act like you are getting a real kick out of the whole subject.
You need to OWN your lifestyle and be proud of it! It disarms people and renders them speechless.
I'm not ashamed nor proud of being childless. Nor do I want to make it apart of my identity. I don't have kids because I'm not financially stable. But that is no one else's business. Its really irritating that she feels its her business to comment on it
This. What is the dean supposed to do, exactly? Say to the offender, "don't do that anymore??" Ignore this student and avoid her like the flu. If she persists, tell her where she can go and what she can do with her comments, and mean it when you say it. What you do with your life and your body is your business.
The Dean can tell her that what she is saying is completely inappropriate. She has said this a few times and I feel like its harassment. Also, I cannot avoid her because we are assigned to a small group together and we all have to work together.
Huh? I'm not giving her any power. It's completely NONE of her business what my relationship status is. And for her to loudly announce that I need to hurry up and get married before its too late is very humiliating to do. She is just trying to shame me
I agree it's none of her business. Tell her so and then don't respond ever again if she comments on it. You give her your power when you continue to engage with her on a topic you don't wish to discuss and is none of her business. Why do you care so much what she or anyone else thinks?
Also, I'm not sure why never getting married is humiliating.
I agree it's none of her business. Tell her so and then don't respond ever again if she comments on it. You give her your power when you continue to engage with her on a topic you don't wish to discuss and is none of her business. Why do you care so much what she or anyone else thinks?
The topic should not be brought up again period because it is not her place to comment on. Anything concerning my marriage status or whether I have children or not should not be discussed. I'm not giving her any power. She just needs to shut up about it. There is only ONE woman in our group who is married while everyone else is single (in a relationship) with children. Why am I being targeted? Why doesn't she tell the other women they need to marry their significant others? That's why I feel she's bullying me.
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Also, I'm not sure why never getting married is humiliating.
It's humiliating for her to loudly say during class that I need to "hurry up and get married before its too late". That is not polite or respectful at all.
Last edited by misssusie123; 02-22-2018 at 04:28 AM..
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Sure. Go ahead and go running to the dean. Just do us a favor and video the conversation so we can take bets on how long he lasts before laughing.
You’re an adult. You need to either grow a thicker skin or lean how to deal with the situation yourself. This is not a situation for involving the dean.
Sorry but implying that I look old and that I need to hurry up and get married before its too late is not what I call 'harmless teasing'. It's really disrespectful and unprofessional and I don't think that I am being immature for wanting to report it. It's not acceptable at all
Why dont you simply tell her that you don’t find what she’s stating amusing or funny. Ask her politely to stop. If she refuses to then go file a complaint. This is why I don’t make observations about coworkers. You never know what someone is gonna get pissed about and file a complaint. Or at least say anything about anyone at work that’s really personal. Unless they specifically ask about something I may give them my opinion.
Sure. Go ahead and go running to the dean. Just do us a favor and video the conversation so we can take bets on how long he lasts before laughing.
You’re an adult. You need to either grow a thicker skin or lean how to deal with the situation yourself. This is not a situation for involving the dean.
Repeatedly telling someone to 'get married before its too late' and implying that they are 'old' on numerous occasions certainly qualifies a visit to the deans office. It's harassment.
Why dont you simply tell her that you don’t find what she’s stating amusing or funny. Ask her politely to stop. If she refuses to then go file a complaint. This is why I don’t make observations about coworkers. You never know what someone is gonna get pissed about and file a complaint. Or at least say anything about anyone at work that’s really personal. Unless they specifically ask about something I may give them my opinion.
Ok, I'll certainly give her a warning that if she makes the remark again, I'll file a complaint against her.
I'm a 25 year old nursing student. In my group, I am one of two women who don't have children (the other one is married) while the other students are single, with out of wedlock children. One of my classmates who I thought was a decent person, will out of nowhere say to me "you need to hurry up and get married before its too late". She has no idea how old I am nor does she know my relationship status. Then once someone mentioned me being young only for her to say "who is young?" with a sly grin on her face. She keeps implying that I'm old and need to get married before its too late.
I feel that my personal decision to remain childless and single is none of her business. I find it strange that she keeps pressuring me to get married instead of pressuring the single mothers to get married because they have children. Her behavior has made me really insecure about myself and my appearance. I am not old nor do I think I look old. Should I report her to the dean because I am sick and tired of this
You don't have to explain yourself to anyone, especially your classmate. If you want to stay single, OWN IT. Flip the script on her and ask her this: Since you're so worried about my relationship status, where's your man? And listen for crickets because many times, she won't have a reply.
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