Being bullied for being single and childless (abuse, aging, appropriate)
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Huh? I'm not giving her any power. It's completely NONE of her business what my relationship status is.
Yet you have shared it with her. If it's none of her business, don't tell her.
Look I'm serious about workplace bullying. Been involved in a workplace where outside people were brought in who called it the "most toxic workplace I've ever seen". It's wrong, and people in charge need to stop it.
A coworker making rude comments on your marital status that you shared with her is not bullying. It's being a jerk. She has no power over you, you are not being threatened with any repercussions. She annoys you. She sounds very annoying, I get that. But bullying includes some measure of power imbalance. There is none here, and the dean will likely see you as touchy and whiny if you complain. Whiny is not a good rep to get in nursing.
Tell her to stop already it's getting tiresome, or laugh outright at her and move on. A chuckling "Jealous?" repeated when necessary could do it, and might be a good place to start.
Sorry but implying that I look old and that I need to hurry up and get married before its too late is not what I call 'harmless teasing'. It's really disrespectful and unprofessional and I don't think that I am being immature for wanting to report it. It's not acceptable at all
No. It's not bullying, I barely even see it as teasing. It's not disrespectful. It's a light hearted acquaintance's opinion in a conversation.
You need to learn how to respond to simple statements like this or the inevitable, "do you have any kids?" that you'll get over the next few years.
My niece will laugh and tell people she doesn't want to get married until she's 35. My daughter will tell people that she doesn't want any kids - she gets to decide what she wants to do.
A coworker making rude comments on your marital status that you shared with her is not bullying. It's being a jerk. She has no power over you, you are not being threatened with any repercussions. She annoys you. She sounds very annoying, I get that. But bullying includes some measure of power imbalance. There is none here, and the dean will likely see you as touchy and whiny if you complain. Whiny is not a good rep to get in nursing.
Thank you for pointing out the important distinction of bullying and harassment. OP is not experiencing either.
I'm a 25 year old nursing student. In my group, I am one of two women who don't have children (the other one is married) while the other students are single, with out of wedlock children. One of my classmates who I thought was a decent person, will out of nowhere say to me "you need to hurry up and get married before its too late". She has no idea how old I am nor does she know my relationship status. Then once someone mentioned me being young only for her to say "who is young?" with a sly grin on her face. She keeps implying that I'm old and need to get married before its too late.
I feel that my personal decision to remain childless and single is none of her business. I find it strange that she keeps pressuring me to get married instead of pressuring the single mothers to get married because they have children. Her behavior has made me really insecure about myself and my appearance. I am not old nor do I think I look old. Should I report her to the dean because I am sick and tired of this
The field of nursing is notorious for having one of the highest incidents of bullying. Nurses also have all the cards to best respond to ridiculous remarks about age and childbearing. Perhaps you can ask her how she managed to get into nursing school without knowing that healthy women can bear children well into their fifties. Emphasize "healthy", and that you are not at all concerned about your childbearing lifespan. Make sure you do this when others from your cohort are present.
You can also report to the dean that one of your cohort is abnormally pre-occupied with your personal life, but I think that might reflect as a weakness in you and you don't want that. Why not ask around to the single parents and find out if she is giving them a hard time as well. If she treats several of her cohorts with an "in your face" attitude, then you have ammunition to portray her to the dean as taking an abnormal interest in passing judgement on the personal lives of others. That is a problem for the bully.
It bothers me because its NONE of her business and its completely out of line for her to make those statements to me in front of everyone in class. I mentioned I had a boyfriend but she still keeps making that remark every now and then that I need to hurry up and get married. As for her, she is not married, she is a single mother with two kids and a live-in boyfriend.
I ignore her because I what I really want to say may get me expelled from the program.
No, she's not married. She's lives with her boyfriend and his parents.
But if someone is being disrespectful to me, reporting them is a good way to put an end to it
If by "end of it" you mean your place in this group, I agree.
Have you talked to this person and told her that it makes you feel uncomfortable? A remark every now and then is not bullying. Failing to discuss it with her makes you immature.
The Dean can tell her that what she is saying is completely inappropriate. She has said this a few times and I feel like its harassment. Also, I cannot avoid her because we are assigned to a small group together and we all have to work together.
Why don't you tell her? Time to grow up and stop expecting others to "adult" on your behalf.
What is going on with this crazy reporting BS all the time? Can't you stand up for yourself and tell her to mind her own business? I am single and childless and don't let people talk to me like that.
Grow some balls and tell her to leave you alone.
I would probably tell her "yeah, well, I don't want to have more kids taken away by CPS" - that will shut her up for good.
Ok, I'll certainly give her a warning that if she makes the remark again, I'll file a complaint against her.
I also think you need to meet with the Dean to discuss leaving nursing. You are way too sensitive for that job. You need a thick skin for nursing. Are you going to run to an adult every time a patient says something you think is offensive? Worse, when a doctor barks orders and you perceive it as bullying?
When she makes that remark I typically ignore it because if I make a snarky comeback it may lead to an argument or even physical altercation. She's obviously trying to bait me into arguing with her. If I bring up the fact that she's a single mother with two out of wedlock kids, things are going to get nasty and we're likely to get into a fight. That's why I felt that the Dean needed to intervene
When she makes that remark I typically ignore it because if I make a snarky comeback it may lead to an argument or even physical altercation. She's obviously trying to bait me into arguing with her
You'll have to think of something that shuts her down without any answer back from her. Find something like "well, if I am old, you should be dead by now hahhaha" (I guess she is older than you?) You know what she ocassionally says to you so you can plan an response. There are sooooo many things you could say. There are a bazillion reasons not to have children but about one (selfishness) to have children, so pick something good.
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