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In general, including but not limited to lift-off hugs.
Why is someone's first thought/instinct to invade someone else's physical space? Is it not possible to express affection or other positive thoughts without having to touch someone?
Quote:
Originally Posted by artillery77
I don't know why, and it's thankfully slowed over the years, but I'm the "giver" of these. Generally it is ladies I've know for a long time. To show excitement, the receiver jumps up when I enter and says something like they're very excited to see me, and basically jumps up on me. So I catch them and we hug.
I say thankfully, because while these were very fun when I was younger, it can rub current husbands/serious bfs the wrong way, and my wife isn't a big fan either. Plus, I'm not nearly as strong as I once was, and most of my cohorts aren't as light as they once were....cuz we're all old now. But that is the only thing I can think of. If I swing you around like I did 20-30 years ago...maybe we can fool ourselves for a moment.
But we're still old, and now we've got confused spouses.
I don't think it's the spouses who are the ones with issues here...
In general, including but not limited to lift-off hugs.
Why is someone's first thought/instinct to invade someone else's physical space? Is it not possible to express affection or other positive thoughts without having to touch someone?
I don't think it's the spouses who are the ones with issues here...
Why is it your first thought that that is their intent and/or motive? Do you really think they sat around beforehand, with malice in their heart, ploting about how they could make you feel most uncomfortable and dominated?
And that's what they came up with---giving you a lift off hug? That's ridiculous!
I think most people do it without analyzing the action, because simply, their motives are pure.
If that's really what you think, and you or anyone else on this forum that personal space militant: standoffish, frigid, rigid, suspicious...why not do yourself and those "terrible" people a favor, and exit the relationship???
I'm surprised they haven't already dropped you like a hot potato, and exited stage right!
Last edited by picklejuice; 02-21-2018 at 09:28 AM..
True. If the lift-off hug includes pinning both of your arms to your sides, use the palm of your hands on the hugger to help swing your leg back a bit before throwing the knee.
Why is it your first thought that that is their intent and/or motive? Do you really think they sat around beforehand, with malice in their heart, ploting about how they could make you feel most uncomfortable and dominated?
And that's what they came up with---giving you a lift off hug? That's ridiculous!
I think most people do it without analyzing the action, because simply, their motives are pure.
If that's really what you think, and you or anyone else on this forum that personal space militant: standoffish, frigid, rigid, suspicious...why not do yourself and those "terrible" people a favor, and exit the relationship???
I'm surprised they haven't already dropped you like a hot potato, and exited stage right!
Wow, that's a lot of assumptions there and some unnecessary insults. Chill out.
I merely asked a question in response to a question.
ETA: Do you need a hug?
Last edited by IndyDancer; 02-21-2018 at 09:40 AM..
Why is it your first thought that that is their intent and/or motive? Do you really think they sat around beforehand, with malice in their heart, ploting about how they could make you feel most uncomfortable and dominated?
And that's what they came up with---giving you a lift off hug? That's ridiculous!
I think most people do it without analyzing the action, because simply, their motives are pure.
If that's really what you think, and you or anyone else on this forum that personal space militant: standoffish, frigid, rigid, suspicious...why not do yourself and those "terrible" people a favor, and exit the relationship???
I'm surprised they haven't already dropped you like a hot potato, and exited stage right!
The motive may be pure, but so is the reaction of many respondents. I don't think anybody claimed the hugs were meant maliciously, but it doesn't matter. If there is any possibility that an over-exuberant hug will not be welcomed, it shouldn't happen to begin with, no matter the sentiment behind it.
It's insulting to be called standoffish, frigid (really?) rigid or suspicious just because we'd rather not be manhandled.
I had the opposite happen to me once. Was saying goodnight to a first date and we were both going in for a bear-type hug. (date had gone well up to that point).
He was very tall and very muscular (black belt in karate). I'm short so I went up on my toes to give a proper hug. He forcefully pushed me back down with his weight. I literally felt my spine compress. He thought it was funny. He hurt me! That was the last time I saw him.
My girlfriend loves it when I do it. I find it funny when she tries to do the same to me.
I'm very surprised at some of the reactions on this thread.
Many have said they don't mind it when a boyfriend/spouse does it. That wasn't the question.
Quote:
Originally Posted by picklejuice
Why is it your first thought that that is their intent and/or motive? Do you really think they sat around beforehand, with malice in their heart, ploting about how they could make you feel most uncomfortable and dominated?
And that's what they came up with---giving you a lift off hug? That's ridiculous!
I think most people do it without analyzing the action, because simply, their motives are pure.
If that's really what you think, and you or anyone else on this forum that personal space militant: standoffish, frigid, rigid, suspicious...why not do yourself and those "terrible" people a favor, and exit the relationship???
I'm surprised they haven't already dropped you like a hot potato, and exited stage right!
Your compulsion to insult one with whom you disagree is as inappropriate.
Also, for the record, those who do it "without analyzing the action" would do good to put themselves in the other person's shoes for a change. It's not usually "pure motives" but boorish assumptions that motivate their overzealous grabbing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by artillery77
...and my wife isn't a big fan either.
That ^^^ is your first clue that it's inappropriate.
I had the opposite happen to me once. Was saying goodnight to a first date and we were both going in for a bear-type hug. (date had gone well up to that point).
He was very tall and very muscular (black belt in karate). I'm short so I went up on my toes to give a proper hug. He forcefully pushed me back down with his weight. I literally felt my spine compress. He thought it was funny. He hurt me! That was the last time I saw him.
OK, that dude was as boorish as you described him. I wouldn't lift-off hug a woman on a first date. (I would kiss on a first date, though .) I reserve lift-off hugs for girlfriends and a few close friends who are cool with it. (I suppose I'll ask directly if that's true.) I swear, people are making it sound like I lift-off hug with every woman I know. Sheesh!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
Many have said they don't mind it when a boyfriend/spouse does it. That wasn't the question.
The question was generic. It includes a boyfriend/spouse doing it, but isn't limited to that person. Notice I didn't make a poll. Which means it's not a yes/no answer, and people can enjoy them from some huggers and not others.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 02-21-2018 at 09:51 PM..
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