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How does the recipient know it's being "done in a lighthearted, playful manner."?
It's creepy AF in my opinion. Only thing worse is the creepy 'shoulder rub' guy.
Hey, I did say the views were divided.
People should play it by ear. And I wasn't talking about doing it to new people, but the people I'm well-familiar with. Any man (or woman, I suppose) who gets a less-than-enthusiastic reaction from a specific person the first time, should know better than to do it again. Otherwise, that's when it becomes creepy.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 02-19-2018 at 08:33 AM..
People should play it by ear. And I wasn't talking about doing it to new people, but the people I'm well-familiar with. Any man (or woman, I suppose) who gets a less-than-enthusiastic reaction from a specific person the first time, should know better than to do it again. Otherwise, that's when it becomes creepy.
Unless you are a returning POW, who hasn't seen his family after years of captivity and is overcome by emotion, it's weird and patriarchal.
Since I am 5'8" I rarely have been picked up like that, however my adult daughter (5'2" and 105 pounds) has had that happen numerous times. She really hates it and has said that it often makes her feel like a child or a toy. She especially, especially hates it when complete strangers (men at a bar or a party) do it because she feels that it is sexist and demeaning.
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I may be the lone voice in favor of it under the right circumstances.
It has rarely happened to me, but last time it happened it was when it had been a very long time since I saw a very dear friend. He lifted me up and swirled me around while we both laughed like mad. He is one of my dearest and oldest friends and I simply adore him. I did not feel it was patriarchal or condescending. It was a momentary burst of enthusiasm and we both loved it.
The other time I had it happen was when my Navy son came back from 9 months at sea and he was so glad to be back with family and loved ones. Again, I loved it because my heart was bursting with joy.
Perhaps because I am really short and small it just didn't seem like a big deal to me. Of course, I wouldn't love it if a casual friend did it, but under the right circumstances it is fine with me.
And my responses were to the OP so I'm not getting your point.
No rules, but the opinion of most everyone who is more likely to be on the receiving end is that it's awkward at best, creepy and domineering/patriarchal at worst. Of course if he and his receivers enjoy it (although, if I were him, after reading responses here, I would question whether the hugs were enjoyed or simply tolerated because they like him an don't want to offend) then no one is going to stop/"enforce" it so again, what's your point?
Since I am 5'8" I rarely have been picked up like that, however my adult daughter (5'2" and 105 pounds) has had that happen numerous times. She really hates it and has said that it often makes her feel like a child or a toy. She especially, especially hates it when complete strangers (men at a bar or a party) do it because she feels that it is sexist and demeaning.
Night and day! It can be fine when a romantic partner or a trusted friend does it, provided that it's mutually accepted. I mean, it's one step away (in this case, literally ) from a standard hug with one foot of the ground. I do agree that lift-off hugs are creepy when coming from a person you just met.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threestep
5:11 and heels - do you want to give me a lift hug? Come on
Michael Jordan (the basketball player) accepts your challenge. He's 6'6".
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
Moderator cut: Orphaned
I did consider the possibility of them being good sports about it. That is, not overtly hating it but not fully liking it, either. So far, no one said anything negative. But maybe it's not a bad idea to save these hugs for more emotional moments, like after not seeing each other for a month, or winning $500 in a lottery .
I can think of twice that it happened, both were as a result of not having seen each other for some time, and the excitement of it all. Both were men I had short relationships with, and they were both my height so good on them for getting me off the ground!
Beyond that, I would never greet a friend that way, ever.
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) from a standard hug with one foot of the ground. I do agree that lift-off hugs are creepy when coming from a person you just met.
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