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This is just dumb. Dad or grand dad to daughter,grand daughter is one thing. A bro to his little kid sister is another thing. But some friend, aquaintance, just to show off some manly strength? It's just a douche move,in my opinion. I know girls do this to each other as well, but that is fun.
Imagine an old friend of my wife, come to say hi ,picking her up like he was effing her or something? Oh boy, there will be some manlyneess displayed by me!
In the old days, it was a sign of exuberance, and usually was given because of a long period of separation. Can't think of a soul who ever found it a sign of anything other than that/this:
" I'm just so happy to see you!"
You know, kind of like your dog knocking you over or jumping on you for the excitement of seeing you or being with you again.
Have we really come to a time in history when such exuberance is thought of as creepy or power play? Really?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
Since I am 5'8" I rarely have been picked up like that, however my adult daughter (5'2" and 105 pounds) has had that happen numerous times. She really hates it and has said that it often makes her feel like a child or a toy. She especially, especially hates it when complete strangers (men at a bar or a party) do it because she feels that it is sexist and demeaning.
IMHO, there is a huge difference between when a POW or a soldier comes home after a long separation to their spouse or family or a loving couple does this after a long time apart and other similar situations. Yes, that can be a sign of healthy, positive exuberance.
But, yes, it can be very creepy or a power play when it is done by complete strangers or by someone who you do not want to pick you up.
Some things, like this, can be appropriate in some situations but not in others.
I'm a recipient of these lift off hugs. It runs in the family. It started when I was a kid and my uncle would effortlessly lift me up and rub his beard in my face and we'd both laugh and I'd squeal the way happy kids do. That was a fond fond memory of my uncle. yes I felt protected, loved, and hey I had someone who wanted to entertain me. It was for my age pure bliss.
Now I have a cousin who does the lift off hug with me, again I was very close to him growing up but we were the same age. As peers but also family I was not threatened by it, nor did I feel dominated. As the years wear on he still does the lift off hug- he's just a gregarious loving guy. Now I can say "ok just don't pick me up my back hurts" and I"ll get a normal warm hug.
Personally I don't mind the lift offs as long as I'm not being crushed and in pain. If my dad or step dad did that I'd think it'd be odd but only because they've never done it before. But, when my uncle passes I'm always going to miss those days of silliness and playfulness.
Now if someone I didn't know so well tired this I think I'd be confused but open minded. I would have to go through the whole questioning motives things that women need to do. I still doubt I'd feel dominated though as my knee would always be in a somewhat offensive spot if some guy was forcing me into submission.
How does the recipient know it's being "done in a lighthearted, playful manner."?
It's creepy AF in my opinion. Only thing worse is the creepy 'shoulder rub' guy.
Why is the first thought a creepy guy?
I don't know why, and it's thankfully slowed over the years, but I'm the "giver" of these. Generally it is ladies I've know for a long time. To show excitement, the receiver jumps up when I enter and says something like they're very excited to see me, and basically jumps up on me. So I catch them and we hug.
I say thankfully, because while these were very fun when I was younger, it can rub current husbands/serious bfs the wrong way, and my wife isn't a big fan either. Plus, I'm not nearly as strong as I once was, and most of my cohorts aren't as light as they once were....cuz we're all old now. But that is the only thing I can think of. If I swing you around like I did 20-30 years ago...maybe we can fool ourselves for a moment.
But we're still old, and now we've got confused spouses.
Raise your knee and it will hit the lifter right in his release button.
True. If the lift-off hug includes pinning both of your arms to your sides, use the palm of your hands on the hugger to help swing your leg back a bit before throwing the knee.
My girlfriend loves it when I do it. I find it funny when she tries to do the same to me.
I'm very surprised at some of the reactions on this thread.
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