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I'm feeling SUCH A STRONG deja-vu in this post, right down to the fact that the older sister is dating a white guy and it's no problem.
Have you posted here before under a different name?
I've posted this before, yes, but under different circumstances. My first post was more or less figuring out if I should pursue this guy and how to go about telling my mom about him. Now this is something of an update since I've finally told my mom.
I wouldn’t let my family influence my decision about who to date. However, since you’re worried about tearing the family apart and you want to keep the peace, if there are enough eligible Native American men out there who you find attractive and feel that you could potentially be happy with, why date a white guy?
Ummm, why not? Race should never be a factor (one way or another) in romance.
Brutal political incorrectness follows. Stop reading here if you are easily offended.
I believe Americans/Canadians/Aussies/New Zealanders - whether they are of Caucasian, African, Aboriginal/Native, Asian or Etc. descent, place waaaaay too much importance on their racial heritage. In this day and age, it doesn't mean much. Your identity is defined by your country of birth and country of upbringing. Everything else is fluff. Are you American? Found another American you're attracted to? Go get married, end of story.
Ummm, why not? Race should never be a factor (one way or another) in romance.
Brutal political incorrectness follows. Stop reading here if you are easily offended.
I believe Americans/Canadians/Aussies/New Zealanders - whether they are of Caucasian, African, Aboriginal/Native, Asian or Etc. descent, place waaaaay too much importance on their racial heritage. In this day and age, it doesn't mean much. Your identity is defined by your country of birth and country of upbringing. Everything else is fluff. Are you American? Found another American you're attracted to? Go get married, end of story.
But it pretty much always is. A lot of people aren’t going to risk upsetting their family or getting ostracized or disowned just to date someone of another race...especially if they can easily find someone within their own race that they can be just as happy with.
This stuff goes on and on and I went thru it when I was growing up. I was not allowed to date any other but a catholic, I had to break off with all nice guys who were not catholic....such old school stuff....that great catholic I married left me for a twice married jewish girl. ummmmm
While at a restaurant today, a lovely couple with their 2 sweet children sat by us. She was caucasian, he an asian....what beautiful children.
The problem is that it's not necessarily about her "opinion". In her eyes, me dating another Native is an absolute must and she's even threatened to take away my car keys if I date a non-Native.
How can she take away your car keys? Don't you own the car yourself? You are 25, it's not legal for her to take your car or car keys away from you, if you own the car.
If you have your own car, place to live, job - and you are 25 years old, your mother can't take your car keys away from you. This is something that would happen to a teenager, not an adult. If you have a crush on someone, it sounds like there is no dating going on at this point anyway. He hasn't asked you out? Forget about him until he does.
I wouldn’t let my family influence my decision about who to date. However, since you’re worried about tearing the family apart and you want to keep the peace, if there are enough eligible Native American men out there who you find attractive and feel that you could potentially be happy with, why date a white guy?
Obviously there’s more to consider than “I like him” when you have family who disapprove of interracial dating. My parents wouldn’t care, but she’s already been threatened by her mom over it.
I understand you live at home, but you're 25! I would tell her you will date who YOU want to date! If she wants to introduce you to someone, fine but she can't dictate who you date or marry for that matter!
BTW, a co-signer DOES NOT own the car!! She is just financially responsible if you default on the loan. She can't legally take your keys away. That would be stealing your car! If it was me, you have a job.... move out and live your life!
I'd just thought I'd pop in and give an update of what happened between me and my mom last night:
Me and my mom talked last night and the first thing she did was point out how "disrespectful" I was towards her. She said that she didn't approve of my tone of voice and that she wasn't going to tolerate any of my so-called "defiance". She then proceeded to take away my phone and then went onto the subject of the guy that I like. She said that she's taking away my phone so that I can no longer contact him and that I'm also no longer allowed near any non-Native men without her permission or approval. She even used the example of shopping out in public. She said that from now on we'll be shopping together and if we can't find a Native cashier, I'm to go wait in the car while she's rung up by any non-Native cashiers. Those are pretty much the new restrictions she's now placing on me.
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