Are the black men colorstruck here ? (Chicago, Justice: violent crime, bill, build)

[nyanna]

Does your girlfriend identify herself as Black, or does she really make it a point to separate herself by saying "I'm not Black, I'm Somalian." If she doesn't see herself as Black, then why would she date "Black" men? This is where the word "Black" might be interpreted as a race, or as a culture. So we don't know how your girlfriend is using the term.

I have heard that Somalians don't consider themselves Black but I have seen what many of them look like in thier country and they look very Black to me. Online many people will show photos of the Somalian/Ethiopians who have lighter skin, and narrow features but the majority of them do not look like that at all.

[Just1Fan]

Originally Posted by linicx

I've asked this before. Is there some social/status reason black men and women cannot just be friends?

You can't subject people to the things that blacks have gone through [slavery, segregation, discrimination, racism] and then expect them to change who they are, all by themselves. It takes generations to do that. The majority of America knows about black history, but they "act" as though they don't understand the effects of it. How can you know black history on one hand, but on the other hand, be blind to the effects of it? Ignoring the facts won't help the problem go away. And, frowning upon the way blacks live isn't helping anything, either. You just think your better than them; and that's racism. Truth is, THEIR problem is your problem. But, you usually refuse to deal with it, until it's on YOUR doorstep. Watch this... if you put a creature in a cage, take a stick and continually poke at them, and then set them free to roam around society, what do you expect them to be... civilized? Absolutely not. They're going to be angry, defensive, easily excitable, AND NOT VERY FRIENDLY. And, until they're better educated and feel excepted by society, they won't live, or progress, the way the rest of society does. IT'S A BLACK THING, SO YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!

[Just1Fan]

Originally Posted by MiniMissMixxMatchMaxx

Certain men are attracted to an "exotic" physical appearance (standard stereotypical light/olive/brown/tan skin, long curly/blonde/black hair, full lips and/or foreign accent), while others may prefer "girl next door" (beautiful as well). This is not solely isolated to the black community but all ethnicities. Whatever floats their boat.

I've visited and stayed in chicago multiple occasions and have experienced positive/welcoming responses from black men of all backgrounds/jobs. I believe it's a Mid-west thing, as the adage states. But I've experienced the same as well in other geographical locations.

I support women empowerment and feminism. Competition is everywhere in everything at everyplace, everyday.

I'm a young black female attending undergraduate college, near completion continuing onto grad school, my family is working class, I consider myself a career-woman. I'm proud my african-american/black-american culture, born and raised in the USA.

Society has change along with the workforce. Women and men both have expectations. Its about standard of living. "Can this person support me with this xyz job?" "would i be happy living in that neighborhood?" Same game, different name, that's all.

Professional black women are not more demanding than any other group, its equally balanced. The media has convinced you to believe so, portraying angry or confrontational. Consider the source when and while your hearing/watching.

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For those who don't know familiar with black colloquialism:
Street smarts translates to being savvy. Anyone can be street smart meaning being aware, conscious and not oblivious. Swag translates to having a memorable personality and presence. Swag can also mean style.
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I wish good luck to nyanna and her journey

MiniMaxx - There's a reason the media portrays blacks as angry or confrontational... because most are. But, it's a "generalization", as most stereotypes usually are. Face it, that's why (1) black on black crime is so ridiculously high, and (2) most of society knows not to f*** with blacks. Now, as to the reason they're so angry... most blacks have had it with the cards they've been dealt. So, they're quick to defend themselves. If you don't think it's true, then I don't know what brothas and sistas you've been dealing with. Good luck in college, and may your dreams come true.

[Just1Fan]

Originally Posted by nyanna

I have heard that Somalians don't consider themselves Black but I have seen what many of them look like in thier country and they look very Black to me. Online many people will show photos of the Somalian/Ethiopians who have lighter skin, and narrow features but the majority of them do not look like that at all.

Categorizing races by color was started in the U.S. along with some other bad things. This is something that true African people refuse to take part in. No one is really black or white, we are actually pink or brown. But, most people relate to black as evil or dirty, and white as pure. See where I'm going? Everything happens for a reason.

[Just1Fan]

Originally Posted by JacksonPanther

That's fine. But there's no reason that a man with good credit, money in the bank, a clean criminal record, and health benefits, cannot also be able to party, dance, and be trendy. I think it makes perfect sense for a woman to want a man who is both a good provider AND fun to be around.

It doesn't have to be an either-or (nerd versus cool) thing. Be both!

Just like men supposedly want a woman who is a "lady when out with friends, a cook in the kitchen, and a ***** in the bedroom," women also want a man who is multi-dimensional.

I agree. You can find everything in one person. The problem is, as with anything, the more you want the harder it is to obtain. So, most people settle.

[RiverRise]

Why was my post to TBideon removed?

ETA

Originally Posted by nyanna

Interesting. Don't you think it's strange that she has no attraction to men within her own race? personally, I would not want to date a White guy who felt uncomfortable around women of his own race, it would seem like he has major issues.

This is basically what I said. I didn't flame anyone. What warrants a post being removed? I have no messages from any moderators saying I broke a rule.

[Just1Fan]

Originally Posted by TBideon

This has been one of the more fascinating discussions on the forum. I, a Jewish white guy, am currently in a relationship with a Somali American girl, and we've had similar talks on the subject. She won't date black guys in the same way that I won't date Jewish girls: there just isn't the attraction there. Plus our options are a little limited in that, to be blunt, there's a ton of yentas and ghetto in this city, which puts a huge damper on dating within our group.

Now the fact that she lives in Hyde Park and often gets to enjoy the Garfield/Greenline horror show might be a factor (last night I waited for the 55 there in the middle of the night, not one of my wiser choices - taking the 6 from hereonin), but even before she moved to Chicago she just never felt that comfortable among black fellas.

Generally speaking, in America, black people have gotten a bad rep. Half of which comes from the way much of society views them. And, the other half they've brought on themselves. But, either way, it affects all black people in some fashion, because they're all guilty by association. The problem is that many people don't take time to consider if they're in the presents of a positive black person, or a negative one. One reason for this is that God forbid that they find themselves in the presents of the latter. And, the other reason is that they may be bias and simply don't except blacks. Also, another result of their bad reprepation is that many blacks themselves choose to not afiliate with their own race. Some blacks figure that if they don't date, marry, or hang around other blacks, they'll somehow be viewed differently. Well, they're definitely fooling themselves. Because, they might be cool to the people they're hanging out with, but a lot of other people still won't feel comfortable having you around.

[ckhthankgod]

Originally Posted by Just1Fan

MiniMaxx - There's a reason the media portrays blacks as angry or confrontational... because most are. But, it's a "generalization", as most stereotypes usually are. Face it, that's why (1) black on black crime is so ridiculously high, and (2) most of society knows not to f*** with blacks. Now, as to the reason they're so angry... most blacks have had it with the cards they've been dealt. So, they're quick to defend themselves. If you don't think it's true, then I don't know what brothas and sistas you've been dealing with. Good luck in college, and may your dreams come true.

Actually, Black on Black rates have gone down and are much lower than White on White rates were about 40 years ago, when things seemed to be safer. Bureau of Justice Statistics Race of Victim Trends #3

Anyway, ayanna you'll be fine, girl.

[Just1Fan]

Originally Posted by nyanna

Interesting. Don't you think it's strange that she has no attraction to men within her own race? personally, I would not want to date a White guy who felt uncomfortable around women of his own race, it would seem like he has major issues.

I know that's right. But, women are the best liars in the world. We don't know if she really feels that way, or if she's just trying to make him feel more comfortable while they're apart. She's already on the south side of Chicago where there's 700,000 brothas. That's a lot of competition for one white guy with a black woman. Maybe she doesn't want him to question her loyalty.

[Chi-town Native]

Originally Posted by Just1Fan

You can't subject people to the things that blacks have gone through [slavery, segregation, discrimination, racism] and then expect them to change who they are, all by themselves. It takes generations to do that. The majority of America knows about black history, but they "act" as though they don't understand the effects of it. How can you know black history on one hand, but on the other hand, be blind to the effects of it? Ignoring the facts won't help the problem go away. And, frowning upon the way blacks live isn't helping anything, either. You just think your better than them; and that's racism. Truth is, THEIR problem is your problem. But, you usually refuse to deal with it, until it's on YOUR doorstep. Watch this... if you put a creature in a cage, take a stick and continually poke at them, and then set them free to roam around society, what do you expect them to be... civilized? Absolutely not. They're going to be angry, defensive, easily excitable, AND NOT VERY FRIENDLY. And, until they're better educated and feel excepted by society, they won't live, or progress, the way the rest of society does. IT'S A BLACK THING, SO YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!

There's a Palestinian saying about the Israelites, which is "you jumped out of a burning building and fell on me.". Guess which one of those two parties you sound like? You aren't entitled to treat people like garbage based on suffering your grandparents experienced. Black folks have had extensive political representation in Chicago for generations, get a clue!