Are the black men colorstruck here ? (Chicago, Justice: safer, building, location)

[allen2323]

Originally Posted by nyanna

Again with the stereotypes that you know are NOT true. I really believe ppl just cling to these because they get gratification out of keeping a group of ppl down

I for one know that for the most part success driven black women do not behave in that manner. It really is just a very vocal minority of these so called successful black women that take it upon themselves to speak for all black women. And quite frankly the stuff that these women usually say is a big turn off and not a good look at all for black women.

I just wish that these sort of women with all that anger, blame, and sense of entitlement when it comes to there claim to the so called good black men would just tone it down a little bit. What they are really looking for when you hear them speak is a complete reversal of traditional relationship gender roles. A trophy husband if you will. It's very intimidating just to even hear these women talk about there lifestyle expectations for a partner, there high demanding personalities, and there overall unrealistic standards when it comes to looks. I personally prefer a woman to be a bit more toned down than that. I would actually sacrifice earning potential to be with a partner with a better attitude. After all being compatible and staying together is what it is all about at the end of the day.

[quenelle]

Originally Posted by vicnice

How so? Which one do you think I am? A guy that folks socks, or a thug?

You think that I made up the part about women wanting to talk to married guys out of thin air?

I don't neccessarily think you are either. I was just commenting that you sound bitter and that is sad but perhaps you have been 'bitten' by one of these women you write of? I know nothing of women wanting to talk to married guys out of thin air. Not even sure what it means!

[linicx]

I've asked this before. Is there some social/status reason black men and women cannot just be friends?

[TBideon]

This has been one of the more fascinating discussions on the forum. I, a Jewish white guy, am currently in a relationship with a Somali American girl, and we've had similar talks on the subject. She won't date black guys in the same way that I won't date Jewish girls: there just isn't the attraction there. Plus our options are a little limited in that, to be blunt, there's a ton of yentas and ghetto in this city, which puts a huge damper on dating within our group.

Now the fact that she lives in Hyde Park and often gets to enjoy the Garfield/Greenline horror show might be a factor (last night I waited for the 55 there in the middle of the night, not one of my wiser choices - taking the 6 from hereonin), but even before she moved to Chicago she just never felt that comfortable among black fellas.

[nyanna]

Originally Posted by TBideon

This has been one of the more fascinating discussions on the forum. I, a Jewish white guy, am currently in a relationship with a Somali American girl, and we've had similar talks on the subject. She won't date black guys in the same way that I won't date Jewish girls: there just isn't the attraction there. Plus our options are a little limited in that, to be blunt, there's a ton of yentas and ghetto in this city, which puts a huge damper on dating within our group.

Now the fact that she lives in Hyde Park and often gets to enjoy the Garfield/Greenline horror show might be a factor (last night I waited for the 55 there in the middle of the night, not one of my wiser choices - taking the 6 from hereonin), but even before she moved to Chicago she just never felt that comfortable among black fellas.

Interesting. Don't you think it's strange that she has no attraction to men within her own race? personally, I would not want to date a White guy who felt uncomfortable around women of his own race, it would seem like he has major issues.

[JacksonPanther]

Originally Posted by TBideon

This has been one of the more fascinating discussions on the forum. I, a Jewish white guy, am currently in a relationship with a Somali American girl, and we've had similar talks on the subject. She won't date black guys in the same way that I won't date Jewish girls: there just isn't the attraction there. Plus our options are a little limited in that, to be blunt, there's a ton of yentas and ghetto in this city, which puts a huge damper on dating within our group.

Now the fact that she lives in Hyde Park and often gets to enjoy the Garfield/Greenline horror show might be a factor (last night I waited for the 55 there in the middle of the night, not one of my wiser choices - taking the 6 from hereonin), but even before she moved to Chicago she just never felt that comfortable among black fellas.

I will try to be nice, and not snarky.

I hope your girlfriend is really saying "I don't date ghetto-acting thugs," instead of saying "I don't date Black guys." Those are 2 different things - the first I could completely understand and agree with, the second, not really. Your girlfriend wouldn't date a President Obama? Denzel Washington? Danny Glover? Morgan Freeman (if she's really old LOL!)?

Does your girlfriend identify herself as Black, or does she really make it a point to separate herself by saying "I'm not Black, I'm Somalian." If she doesn't see herself as Black, then why would she date "Black" men? This is where the word "Black" might be interpreted as a race, or as a culture. So we don't know how your girlfriend is using the term.

I don't like breaking bad against your girl. But as another poster said, a person of African descent who feels uncomfortable around other people of African descent, has some sort of problem with their own identity.

[quenelle]

Originally Posted by nyanna

Interesting. Don't you think it's strange that she has no attraction to men within her own race? personally, I would not want to date a White guy who felt uncomfortable around women of his own race, it would seem like he has major issues.

I'm white and I agree with you 100%

[MiniMissMixxMatchMaxx]

Certain men are attracted to an "exotic" physical appearance (standard stereotypical light/olive/brown/tan skin, long curly/blonde/black hair, full lips and/or foreign accent), while others may prefer "girl next door" (beautiful as well). This is not solely isolated to the black community but all ethnicities. Whatever floats their boat.

I've visited and stayed in chicago multiple occasions and have experienced positive/welcoming responses from black men of all backgrounds/jobs. I believe it's a Mid-west thing, as the adage states. But I've experienced the same as well in other geographical locations.

I support women empowerment and feminism. Competition is everywhere in everything at everyplace, everyday.

I'm a young black female attending undergraduate college, near completion continuing onto grad school, my family is working class, I consider myself a career-woman. I'm proud my african-american/black-american culture, born and raised in the USA.

Society has change along with the workforce. Women and men both have expectations. Its about standard of living. "Can this person support me with this xyz job?" "would i be happy living in that neighborhood?" Same game, different name, that's all.

Professional black women are not more demanding than any other group, its equally balanced. The media has convinced you to believe so, portraying angry or confrontational. Consider the source when and while your hearing/watching.

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For those who don't know familiar with black colloquialism:
Street smarts translates to being savvy. Anyone can be street smart meaning being aware, conscious and not oblivious. Swag translates to having a memorable personality and presence. Swag can also mean style.
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I wish good luck to nyanna and her journey

[TBideon]

Maybe she does have some issues with black men, or maybe she hasn't been exposed to enough non-ghetto types in her fifteen+ years in the States - I really couldn't tell you. She's also one of those people who seems to have mostly white and Asian friends for whatever that's worth, but then again she's a U of C student so I wonder how many black students are there in the first place.

In terms my being turned off by someone who isn't attracted to blacks, well, it doesn't really matter that much to me. I'm not into Jewish girls, overweight girls, unintelligent girls, loud mouth ghetto girls, people like that - we all have our likes and dislikes, sometimes warranted, sometimes irrational. She is proud of her Somali heritage but frankly is disgusted with what you see so often in urban areas. Perhaps it comes down to her not being a tenth (or whatever) generation African-American but rather immediate, and thus doesn't really feel connected to the black community. That would be my guess. Of course, if there were less ghetto in the black community, then that would probably change her perceptions a bit.

[nyanna]

Originally Posted by TBideon

Maybe she does have some issues with black men, or maybe she hasn't been exposed to enough non-ghetto types in her fifteen+ years in the States - I really couldn't tell you. She's also one of those people who seems to have mostly white and Asian friends for whatever that's worth, but then again she's a U of C student so I wonder how many black students are there in the first place.

In terms my being turned off by someone who isn't attracted to blacks, well, it doesn't really matter that much to me. I'm not into Jewish girls, overweight girls, unintelligent girls, loud mouth ghetto girls, people like that - we all have our likes and dislikes, sometimes warranted, sometimes irrational. She is proud of her Somali heritage but frankly is disgusted with what you see so often in urban areas. Perhaps it comes down to her not being a tenth (or whatever) generation African-American but rather immediate, and thus doesn't really feel connected to the black community. That would be my guess. Of course, if there were less ghetto in the black community, then that would probably change her perceptions a bit.

Well, it is really sad that she feels disgusted with the majority of African Americans, but she really has no room to talk because things in Somali are not that great either. I bet she wouldn't like it if I moved to her country and expressed how I was disgusted with the culture over there. It really bothers me when Africans from abroad are so divisive and focus on only the negative aspects of AA culture and look down us.