Successful black men in GA (Atlanta, White: transit, paid, place)

[karrobe]

Originally Posted by MrMcCoySays

No you're being perfectly clear. And of course if a man expects you to carry him that's not a healthy relationship at all.

But a real man don't want his woman to take on all his problems. He just wants her to support him. And he doesn't want her to let it come between them as long as he's doing everything on his part to make sure she's okay.

When my stepdad married my mother he supported her and dealt with the fact she already had children. He dealt with her receiving no child support, he dealt with that man calling HIS house asking to speak to my mama, and most of all, he dealt with ME lol. And I was not easy to put up with. But he endured those situations because he loves my mom and they've been in marital bliss for almost 20 yrs.

Thank you. That was a great illustration.

[Brighteyes33]

How come these issues are so magnified in the black community? Where did we go wrong? Was it the 50's, 60's??? And lets not get into blaming the white man cause too much of this stuff is self inflicted. Lets start off with some basic questions....why are there so many black men who are players? Why are there so many black women with that scank mentality of "as long as he pays my bills" thing. I mean come on, blacks pride themselves on being spiritual and God fearing and we all know the rules that the bible gives so why aren't we following them???? Are we indeed just a bunch of church going hypocrites? Do we just go to church and shout hallelujah because it's a cultural thing? If blacks were so spiritual and Christ abiding we'd have solid tight families like Asians but in fact it's the opposite. Blacks are the first to call on Christ and talk about praying but what about following the bible? We seem to be doing little of that......kids out of wedlock in record numbers, black men going to jail in record numbers, black men and black women singing the most disgusting songs you can think of, black women snatching off their clothes and thinking it's cute and lets not forget about the black family and marriage....that's almost non-existent.

[karrobe]

Originally Posted by MisterNY

The Question that begs to be asked is: What kind of men have you been dating? Without sounding too rude or disrespectful, your standards may have been a bit on the low end . Just an observation. Hope you didn't take offense. If you get similar results from who you date, it's because you're doing the same things (poor choices and dating the same types over and over). Either that, or there are serious internal issues.

For analysis purposes:

Let's say:

IF a woman or man from, let's say the ages of 25 to 35 who has dated an average of 10-15people of the opposite sex for about 5 years. And if that person tells me they have not found something decent, or made something good come out of any of these 10-15 people (not even a friendship), the problem lies in that person. I'm sorry, if a woman or man, black or white, has dated so many people, and did not do well with one person, that's who I start to question. That person, not the 10-15 people. I'm sorry. I call it what it is.

I'm sorry, but the whole "being picky" excuse is just that. A sorry EXCUSE!
It just masks insecurities that person may have. I believe in standards. I will not date a woman with no class, an uneducated woman, a loud, rude or bitter woman, a woman without daddy in her life, and so forth. That being said, I remove all these types from my list and work with those that fit the criteria that I am looking for in a woman. The same should be done for the ladies here.

If you have standards and are picky, you set the bar higher for everything you do and everything/everyone around you: Your education, friends, professional colleagues, activities, where you live etc. That also goes for who you accept or invite into your love life/date/friendship/courtship, and therefore negates or reduces the whole "he or she is not my type" rubbish.

Ex: You can't tell me you're educated, raised by two good parents, are a philanthropist, professional, are spiritual etc.. but your female friends are trashy/ghetto women (with issues) and you have a fetish for thugs. You eventually reap what you sow. The results will never be good, if you're picky and have higher standards. I hope I made this clear.

Now, I'm not going to talk about the man or woman who is only looking for fun and sex and dating just for fun. That's a different story.

I have to admit, I've made mistakes and dated a couple "wrong ones" but I don't think that invalidates my observations. It's not that I haven't met some great men. I have an ex right now who is a wonderful man who wants to be with me and I with him but distance keeps us apart and different goals we both have to achieve. He's a great black man. So it's not that I don't think they exist, there's just a lot of bad things going on with a very big part of our male counterparts.

[karrobe]

Originally Posted by karrobe

I have to admit, I've made mistakes and dated a couple "wrong ones" but I don't think that invalidates my observations. It's not that I haven't met some great men. I have an ex right now who is a wonderful man who wants to be with me and I with him but distance keeps us apart and different goals we both have to achieve. He's a great black man. So it's not that I don't think they exist, there's just a lot of bad things going on with a very big part of our male counterparts.

I take that back. He identifies as Latin

[MrMcCoySays]

Originally Posted by Brighteyes33

How come these issues are so magnified in the black community? Where did we go wrong? Was it the 50's, 60's??? And lets not get into blaming the white man cause too much of this stuff is self inflicted. Lets start off with some basic questions....why are there so many black men who are players? Why are there so many black women with that scank mentality of "as long as he pays my bills" thing. I mean come on, blacks pride themselves on being spiritual and God fearing and we all know the rules that the bible gives so why aren't we following them???? Are we indeed just a bunch of church going hypocrites? Do we just go to church and shout hallelujah because it's a cultural thing? If blacks were so spiritual and Christ abiding we'd have solid tight families like Asians but in fact it's the opposite. Blacks are the first to call on Christ and talk about praying but what about following the bible? We seem to be doing little of that......kids out of wedlock in record numbers, black men going to jail in record numbers, black men and black women singing the most disgusting songs you can think of, black women snatching off their clothes and thinking it's cute and lets not forget about the black family and marriage....that's almost non-existent.

Christ does not disapprove of the way blacks are living any more than he disapproves of the lives of whites, latinos, asians, or anyone else. And I wouldn't call most black Christians hypocrites. "Backsliders" is more like it.

And while The White Man cannot be solely blamed for the state of black America, he most definitely played his part. I've heard more than once that we black men have that player mentality because of biological reasons. We've been "programmed" to go from woman to woman ever since slavery when we were stolen from our wives and children and were forced to breed with other women.

[karrobe]

Originally Posted by MrMcCoySays

Christ does not disapprove of the way blacks are living any more than he disapproves of the lives of whites, latinos, asians, or anyone else. And I wouldn't call most black Christians hypocrites. "Backsliders" is more like it.

And while The White Man cannot be solely blamed for the state of black America, he most definitely played his part. I've heard more than once that we black men have that player mentality because of biological reasons. We've been "programmed" to go from woman to woman ever since slavery when we were stolen from our wives and children and were forced to breed with other women.

Wow.

[LadyRo]

Actually, 40 years of age is the cut off for IVF if you want to use your own eggs, that are inside your body at the time of the procedure. There is no age limit if using donor eggs. There is also no age limit if you are using your own eggs that you had harvested and frozen before you turned 40. While you might be over 40 at the time of the procedure, the frozen eggs will not be.

I don't participate on the Atlanta forum, anymore, but I jumped in to get this info out there to you and other women who may be interested. If you have any follow up comments, please PM them to me. Thanks.

Originally Posted by Brighteyes33

I'm just wondering how many of you are out there in or over your 30's considering artificial insemination or have thought about it? Like I said before, I've pretty much given up on black men and I'm so burned out with dating that I don't even want to be bothered. Ive come to realize being a really kind, good woman has worked against me. I'm over 30 and have toyed with artificial insemination to become pregnant. I used to be horrified at being a single mother (so much for my conservative upbringing) but that's looking more appealing now, especially as I get closer to 38 which is the cut off age for women because of the increased chances of having a child with down syndrome and other illnesses. I figure if a man comes along afterwards.....welll he just comes along. With the increasing number of single, successful black women, I'm just wondering how many have thought about this or even considered it? Do you even know someone who has done this? I've only known one successful sister who adopted a child but that was it. Don't think she ever got married but she is doing well.

[MrMcCoySays]

I know we're off topic here but doesn't artificial insemination automatically deny the child a chance of knowing his father? a problem thats already plagued the black community?

The only way can even IMAGINE being okay with this process is if the mother knows the man who's donating his sperm and intends on having him in the baby's life.

[ncprincess]

wow this is interesting! hello i'm just getting in on the chat

[ncprincess]

I am new to the atlanta area and want to know if there are any brothers out there who simply just want a platonic relationship with a beautiful woman?