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Thanks for posting this, it is nice to hear from an AP challenging the stereotype that APs are something more than normal parents. It just feeds the notion that adoptees are supposed to be grateful.
Question though, did you adopt from Russia?
No, Central Asia, but the former Soviet Union so the conditions were probably similar.
Just normal parents....but someone's guardian angel. Actually, I DO think that adoptees should be grateful, especially if they've been rescued by truly caring providers/parents. Then again, it is my believe that we ALL should be grateful, as we have much to be grateful for!
I just wanted to make a point to say that I do not expect my adopted daughter to feel grateful for her adoption. She is free to feel any emotion that comes naturally to her- good, bad, or indifferent. I am not her "guardian angel," I'm her mother.
Neither do I expect my biological daughter to feel grateful I am her parent. I do expect both of my children to be generally appreciative of their blessings, but it offends me to have it said that my adopted daughter must have an additional level of gratefulness simply because she is adopted.
Sorry for taking off track, but this is a common sentiment that I hear from many people, and it really bothers me. I know you meant well, beachmel, but please understand my adopted daughter is simply my daughter, and I am always, always the lucky one in this. I'm incredibly blessed to have the privelage to love and care for her and be called "mama." I fully expect to earn her gratefulness not that we adopted her, but just for being loving, caring, compassionate, understanding and good parents. But it's my responsibility, I believe, to be the kind if parent that makes her glad to call me mom and not her responsibility to feel grateful for her adoption.
As I said, we all have many things to be grateful for. There are people out there whom I believe would be great adoptive parents, but for one reason or another, they are not allowed the privilege. You, have been given the opportunity and been blessed. You are grateful, and that's a wonderful thing. I know this...if I was a child who was dumped off at an orphange and living in horrid conditions, I would be grateful if a good family took me in.
When I mention gratitude, I'm not talking about slavery, worship, etc. Also, as DOTM stated, ALL adopted children do not go to good homes....to wonderful people. I believe that the ones who do, should be grateful. They could have ended up in a much less desirable setting. Merry Christmas all.... be blessed and be blessings.
As I said, we all have many things to be grateful for. There are people out there whom I believe would be great adoptive parents, but for one reason or another, they are not allowed the privilege. You, have been given the opportunity and been blessed. You are grateful, and that's a wonderful thing. I know this...if I was a child who was dumped off at an orphange and living in horrid conditions, I would be grateful if a good family took me in.
When I mention gratitude, I'm not talking about slavery, worship, etc. Also, as DOTM stated, ALL adopted children do not go to good homes....to wonderful people. I believe that the ones who do, should be grateful. They could have ended up in a much less desirable setting. Merry Christmas all.... be blessed and be blessings.
Merry Christmas Beachmel. I enjoyed your post, written from your heart. So often, our words are misinterpreted from their intent and taken out of context on these boards. I really appreciated your posts and the spirit in which they were made!!!
Happy holidays to you all. Tomorrow is going to be spent making cookies and wrapping last minute gifts. Unfortunatly my husband miscalculated his vacation days and is going to have to work the Christmas week.....so he is a bit like the Grinch this week. Hopefully we can cheer him up with apple and cherry pies and a yummy dinner.
As I said, we all have many things to be grateful for. There are people out there whom I believe would be great adoptive parents, but for one reason or another, they are not allowed the privilege. You, have been given the opportunity and been blessed. You are grateful, and that's a wonderful thing. I know this...if I was a child who was dumped off at an orphange and living in horrid conditions, I would be grateful if a good family took me in.
When I mention gratitude, I'm not talking about slavery, worship, etc. Also, as DOTM stated, ALL adopted children do not go to good homes....to wonderful people. I believe that the ones who do, should be grateful. They could have ended up in a much less desirable setting. Merry Christmas all.... be blessed and be blessings.
Merry Christmas to you, too, Beachmel.
I have no doubt that many people, adopted or not adopted, are grateful for growing up in loving homes. Whether adopted humans should be more grateful than other humans is open to debate.
I've looked at this story earlier and I can add only one thing; on the picture of that little kid taken in orphanage, what's described as "red splotches" on his face is not an "anti-septic" - I can tell that much. I don't know any anti-septic in Russia of red color; it's either bright green, or dark-brown ( as in iodine.)
So I leave it up to you to make your own conclusions.
PS. Oh, to make things more interesting, Russians living in America ( I assume) started one more petition to Obama to add Putin himself on Magnitsky list, if he will sign the law forbidding the adoptions.
It certainly is sad. My daughter was almost ready to go off to the other orphanage when she turned 4. Fortunately, we were able to adopt her with 4 months to spare. How heartbreaking for this particular family and not being able to bring home the younger brother.
It does seem like Putin has a more moderate approach from what I was reading. Let's hope that calmer heads prevail. At least let the waiting families complete their adoptions before closing it off if it does happen.
That is so sad! Also, if you zoom in on the picture, it looks like that child took one heck of a nasty spill!....down a flight of stairs!? On my monitor, it shows multiple abrasions and what appears to be a HUGE bruise throughout the center area of his face. Those poor parents...poor Jack and for sure, poor Nikoly. What really gets me is this: Officials say that 60,000 children have been adopted from Russia since 1991, and a minute number have suffered harm. Hmmm... So how many children been sold into slavery and/or prostitution, out of that country? I'm sorry....this stuff just gets me so riled up. How heartbreaking!
This is tragic. A little boy, representative of so many, could be with his family. Holding children hostage because of political differences should just plain be against the law.
What law? Being human. Being decent.
The situation their sounds far worse than the sabre rattling that I first suspected. But then really, what was done with that woman who sent her son back to Russia with a one way ticket?
Was she held up as an example? She should have been. Do I care what problems he may have had . Not one bit. It was their responsibility to find appropriate treatment for him.
The very fact that I don't know her name, and unlike Casey Anthony, she is not a house hold word, speaks to how serious the United States took this incident.
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