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One thing I have learned from city-data, is that people's perspective on the world can be radically different depending on where they grew up and how they were raised. And everything is relative.
You can drop 10 people in a town and they will probably all see it in totally different ways. Based on their previous experience and what sort of things they notice, or do not notice. What they like to do. What kind of value system they hold. Whether they are religious or not. How intelligent they are. How they act. How they look. How outgoing they are. Whether they are alone or with family. What social status they are. What ethnicity they are. How they dress. All these things will determine how people see you and change the experience, and no two experiences are alike.
I read a lot of posts on here about various cities I have been, and the things people say about these places are often the total opposite of what I saw with my eyes. It's really crazy.
One thing I have learned from city-data, is that people's perspective on the world can be radically different depending on where they grew up and how they were raised. And everything is relative.
You can drop 10 people in a town and they will probably all see it in totally different ways. Based on their previous experience and what sort of things they notice, or do not notice. What they like to do. What kind of value system they hold. Whether they are religious or not. How intelligent they are. How they act. How they look. How outgoing they are. Whether they are alone or with family. What social status they are. What ethnicity they are. How they dress. All these things will determine how people see you and change the experience, and no two experiences are alike.
I read a lot of posts on here about various cities I have been, and the things people say about these places are often the total opposite of what I saw with my eyes. It's really crazy.
Have you considered that not every town in Washington may be the same?? Washington has its flaws, friendly and outgoing people are one of them. However, I have not found the people to be hostile , rude or violent. A little passive aggressive, yes, and that is mostly among the more snooty liberal portion of the population. Of course, every state has backwoodsy towns where people are very cliquey and outsiders are shunned. I lived in every state in the West Coast, excluding Nevada and Utah and saw this phenomenon. I also was in Africa for half a year. There was a town in Ghana, West Africa where I literally was chased out, because the people were unfriendly and hostile. However, this was a country with overall the most friendly people I ever met..
Really, maybe you need to get out a bit more and explore this state.
Bellingham, is in fact a small town, hardly a city.. Why on earth are you staying in this backwoodsy hick town you are stuck in?? Come up to the Skagit or Whatcom counties.. The people here are way more friendly and easy going.. Not everyone is hostile. Yeah, everyone owns guns and a lot more conservative, but it is very live-and-let live and people mind their own business and don't get in your face about things, unlike some places I have lived.
My husband and I have recently relocated to WA (4 months ago). We live in Olympia and have not had a problem with cold attitudes among neighbors. In fact we have met several of our neighbors who seem very nice, but we aren't quite at the come on over and hang out stage yet. We chat if we pass each other outside or if I'm walking the dog. My husband who works at a big box store says that it's the friendliest group of people he has ever worked with. Mind you, we have also relocated to New Mexico, suburban and rural in our past, and the culture shock there was very stand off-ish even though we are very friendly people. Seems like NM was very tightly wound in family and cliques. We did make friends there too but it took a lot longer. We also grew up in Michigan and found people in Michigan to be a lot like WA state but a tad less liberal. Just talking out loud here, but thinking that some of what you are experiencing is cultural in the sense that things today are not what they were 10, 20, 30 years ago. The US has changed. Kids and young adults today are not the same as when we were young. Technology has made some folks socially dysfunctional. Adults are working their tail off to make ends meet and balance time with the family. I know a couple of people that hold jobs. Small towns will always have some amount of struggle to deal with. Unless they have some sort of unique feature to attract people and make money, all the folks that live there are probably going to have a hard life. I too am attracted to small towns and eventually I'd like to move out of Olympia to somewhere else when I retire. I plan on taking it slow, getting involved in local groups or clubs to meet people. It's a US culture thing, if you want the warm and fuzzy neighbors, you may have to consider relocation overseas. Just saying.
You are right. Bellingham is larger compared to the size of town you are talking about but to some people like me, it's pretty small in comparison to where I live now. I noticed once I got out of the city limits (which doesn't take long) it's very rural. But Bellingham population is 80K plus vs. Seattle at 630K plus. They are "cities" but that's where the comparison ends. If you are unhappy where you are, do you have the means to relocate? WA is a big state. I'm sure you'll find something to satisfy you. If not, it's a great big country.
If you were really a non-conformist you wouldn't give a ratsass about what "They" think or do.
You will continue being a paranoid misfit until you join "Them" or until you realize that "They" don't exist.
I really don't care what they think. But actions do matter.
I am sick and tired of the passive-aggressive confrontations. Insecure guys looking at me with a confrontational demeanor, staring me down, whispering to their friends and looking at me.
I really wish that they would just fight with me, it would be better than these coward games they play.
I am sharpening up my kickboxing skills and i'm ready to battle with some idiots. But they NEVER say anything to my face. They just backpedal when it starts to get real. It's absolutely ridiculous.
I am not upset about being rejected. I don't care about fitting into mainstream society. I think that sheep try to fit in, I would rather be a trailblazer.
I just want to be treated with common respect. Go ahead and ignore me. Just don't push bad vibes on me. Don't act like you want trouble when you really have no intention of backing it up.
This is why the USA is full of angry people who are snapping everywhere. Because Americans are always bullying and messing with each other and common decency has gone out the window. People judge each other rather than respect each other. People compete against each other rather than help each other. And there are violent undertones everywhere.
Good job folks. Way to create an even more dysfunctional society. I know that this angry competition is part of American culture, but I hope one day people wake up and try to be more civil.
You are right. Bellingham is larger compared to the size of town you are talking about but to some people like me, it's pretty small in comparison to where I live now. I noticed once I got out of the city limits (which doesn't take long) it's very rural. But Bellingham population is 80K plus vs. Seattle at 630K plus. They are "cities" but that's where the comparison ends. If you are unhappy where you are, do you have the means to relocate? WA is a big state. I'm sure you'll find something to satisfy you. If not, it's a great big country.
I am considering relocation. But I am settled in here and I don't really want to move.
I plan on staying here and being a social misfit who is feared and hated by the townspeople. I can play that game if that's the game they want to play. I will be the flea who keeps on biting, and they just can't get rid of it.
Maybe it'll teach them a lesson in common respect. If you disrespect people, they don't always back down, sometimes they will keep coming back.
It is so beautiful where I live in western Washington that it still blows me away after 3 years. But I still can't forget the first night I pulled off the road and into the driveway of my home here... the guy driving behind me screaming "YOU F---!" at me for no apparent reason. I had just moved away from my home state, in part, to escape all the insanity that has happened there so I was not prepared for that! In fairness to my community, there are a lot of transplants here and a lot of them brought attitude. As for me, I just want a friend!
It is so beautiful where I live in western Washington that it still blows me away after 3 years. But I still can't forget the first night I pulled off the road and into the driveway of my home here... the guy driving behind me screaming "YOU F---!" at me for no apparent reason. I had just moved away from my home state, in part, to escape all the insanity that has happened there so I was not prepared for that! In fairness to my community, there are a lot of transplants here and a lot of them brought attitude. As for me, I just want a friend!
Yes, people screaming obscenities like that is pretty much normal. When I moved into my new neighborhood there were a few people on the street who acted openly hostile and yelled at me, just like what happened to you.
Some folks across the street were yelling at me when I moved in. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but every time I drove by I would hear yelling which was directed at me. They would make aggressive body postures towards me and generally act like a bunch of idiots, trying to make me feel unwelcome. One day I got sick of it so I walked right up to them raging angry yelling "Is there some kind of problem here?". They dropped their jaws in shock that I was actually standing up against them, and they scurried into their house to hide. The look of fear and shock on their faces was priceless. After that they all totally backed off and now they act like they are afraid of me, when I drive by now they totally ignore me.
It's very strange how people will start violent confrontations like that when they have absolutely no intention of backing it up. Where I grew up, people just don't do that. Where I grew up if you mess with someone, you can guarantee that you will need to back it up.
The next time a guy yells something like that at you. Just don't back down, get right up in his face. They are so used to people being really non-confrontational around here, so they think they can get away with anything. They think they can go around doing anything they want and never feel the consequences. The second they realize that you are not playing around, they will almost always back down.
And if they don't back down and they decide to fight. Then that's why you should be physically fit and learn how to fight. If the guys in WA state are going to turn this place into a big wannabe fight club, then I can go with the flow of that.
It's usually not the transplants who have this violent and passive aggressive attitude. It's the folks who grew up in WA. It's a combination of a sense of entitlement and insecure machismo. Lots of folks with big egos out here. Lots of people brainwashed by bad country music and they are acting like wannabe rednecks a little too much.
It also seems like many guys out here underestimate what can happen when they mess with people. Lots of guys out here have never even been in a fight and they are totally soft and spoiled, yet they are going around acting aggressive.
I know a guy out here. He walks around acting tough all the time. He drives a lifted truck. He is always looking at people and getting in their business, judging them. If he sees someone who he doesn't like the look of, he will stare at them and try to make them feel uncomfortable. There are violent undertones to lots of things he does. But in reality, he lives with Mommy and Daddy in a huge house, he's a spoiled brat, he's never been in a fight, and he is an extremely sheltered and naïve guy.
This is a typical Western WA small town guy. Trying to act hardcore for some reason, trying to prove their manhood all the time in an insecure macho display, when in reality they are not hardcore people at all.
It sure would be nice to see people start coming together instead of battling against each other all the time. But social engineering has got us Americans fighting amongst ourselves. Divided we fall.
It also seems like many guys out here underestimate what can happen when they mess with people. Lots of guys out here have never even been in a fight and they are totally soft and spoiled, yet they are going around acting aggressive.
I haven't had anyone start a fight with me around here, although I don't go to redneck bars at 12:30AM on a Saturday night after everyone has been drinking with their buddies and being overly aggressive by nature. Washington is not confined to this phenomenon by any means. I witnessed more bar fights and violent confrontations living one year in Boise, ID than I have living Washington for the last 2 years or Oregon for the last 20 years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TravelingAndSettling
I know a guy out here. He walks around acting tough all the time. He drives a lifted truck. He is always looking at people and getting in their business, judging them. If he sees someone who he doesn't like the look of, he will stare at them and try to make them feel uncomfortable. There are violent undertones to lots of things he does. But in reality, he lives with Mommy and Daddy in a huge house, he's a spoiled brat, he's never been in a fight, and he is an extremely sheltered and naïve guy.
So only small town Washington has hard-headed macho acting guys who drive lift trucks?? Wow, that is interesting news.. Have you ever been to the rural Deep South?? Try half the population.. Oh yeah, you haven't been to Idaho or Montana either, I take it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TravelingAndSettling
This is a typical Western WA small town guy. Trying to act hardcore for some reason, trying to prove their manhood all the time in an insecure macho display, when in reality they are not hardcore people at all.
There are plenty of real bada$$es around here and plenty of people who you would not want to get into a tangle with. A lot of those guys who go around acting like tough guys are not usually the real bada$$es. But, there are plenty of survival minded people around here who are well trained in weaponry and fighting and usually just mind their own business, but can mess you up if you tried to screw with them. There is also a large number of Army people in the South Puget Sound which contributes to the macho attitude, but this is not homegrown, as the Army guys come in from all over and bring their macho attitudes with them. Some of the most aggressive and hard-headed tough guys (or wannabe tough guys) I had to deal came from Nebraska, of all places.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TravelingAndSettling
It sure would be nice to see people start coming together instead of battling against each other all the time. But social engineering has got us Americans fighting amongst ourselves. Divided we fall.
It isn't just Americans who start crap with each other.. I have witnessed people in every culture and around the world who seem to look down on each other and instigate confrontations. This is problem is not confined to the USA.. People in the USA generally compete with each other on a financial level. If you want to go to a macho society where men are always proving their toughness, take a trip to Ghana, West Africa. Many times I would have Afican men come to me and tell me how "Weak" I am because I am a white man. They always had to prove how much tougher they were. Considering the poverty of villagers and the fact they make money from their labors, their physical strength was something they were proud to boast about.
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I know that this angry competition is part of American culture, but I hope one day people wake up and try to be more civil.
Scenery cannot be beat, people, not so much
