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I probably mention my work as an Executive Coach too often in this forum, but this forum is forever bringing up the sorts of issues I was trained to address as an EC. There are so many ways people can improve their chances for success or happiness in life, and the training I was fortunate to receive involves a spectrum from which to evaluate the person wanting to improve themselves. It was such an eye-opener to learn how people will view themselves vs how others will view them, and of course being able to recognize these areas for consideration is among the very first steps that might lead to worthwhile progress.
There is a reason companies will pay very good money to have an EC help their leadership team, and of course the leadership team is typically made up of highly intelligent productive members of their organization. Amazingly enough, however, even these people who are already successful in their own right will experience truly "break-through" realizations about themselves thanks to executive coaching that helps them see about themselves what they just can't seem to see without help from someone else, like an EC. In some cases they even have some real problem areas that, if fixed, can help them significantly in the future. To better work with others for example. Help that allows them to do so much better than they would be able to do without.
Takes much more than a mirror in any case, but that's the idea in some respects.
Sometimes it takes someone else holding the mirror in just the right way for a person to see what they're not necessarily wanting or ready to see. I only wish I had learned earlier in my career what I learned later as an EC. Everyone should have the benefit of working with an EC at some point in their career (or life coach if not about career). Both experiences can provide real benefits to the sort of people who are really open to those sorts of opportunities.
It's ok, coach. It's good to be enthusiastic in your profession and even take pride in your success at it. It's not egoistic. Nothing depresses me more than lackluster mediocrities.
One of the main goals of being religious or spiritual is to improve or keep good character. But to improve one's character, you need to have some sort of a definition or measuring stick of what is good character.
So what is good character? I am sure that we might all define it in different ways. I came across this LINK from a Ted Gioia that defines 8 ways for evaluating character:
1. Look at who they are married to.
2. See how they treat service workers.
3. What experiences formed their early life.
4. How do they invest in their two most valuable resources.
5. What irritates them, as this likely is something that they have in themselves.
6. Can they listen?
7. If they cheat at small things, they cheat at big things.
8. Watch how they handle unexpected problems.
I actually do really well under this scoring system. I think I only fail at #8 because of anxiety attacks that I sometimes get in some situations. I think I get A+ for #s 1 (I love you hubby!), 2, 4, 6, and 7. I think #2, #4, #6, and #7 are the best points he has.
How do you all measure character?
I think it can be as simple as:
1) Do you have love in your heart and actions?
2) Do you seek to serve others through those loving actions?
3) Do you listen, for an enemy is merely someone's story you have refused to hear.
"You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is not another commandment greater than these." -Jesus in Mark 12:31
QuakerBaker, your kids are lucky to have you as their mom.
Good/healthy character (vs. bad/unhealthy) to me tends to boil down to promoting or maintaining as much peace and civility as possible with other people, with nature, and with the universe. There are ways to encourage a certain balance and freedom with others, without getting in the way with complaint, negativity, lies, meddling, or damage.
Spirituality / religion isn't necessary, and doesn't have to factor in (even if personally I value it). Love is good and can usually help, but is not required either. There aren't any outward "clothes" needed, groups to associate with, or special doctrines. Just basic interaction with ourselves and what is around us. Do we encourage nature and the common life "force" (for lack of better terminology), be neutral to it, or disturb it? One's actions reveal his/her character.
Last edited by Thoreau424; 01-26-2023 at 03:41 PM..
You might find many a worthwhile and valuable way to improve character by expanding your bandwidth beyond religion and/or instead of religion. At least in addition to religion...
If you want to go on a journey that provides the best views, it's not always best to stick to the road most traveled, that you know best or feel most comfortable navigating. Sometimes too, maybe we're okay just the way we are, where we are, and we don't really need to go anywhere else. Sometimes there is no real good reason to feel the need or want for more or better, but we humans typically can't accept that possibility.
All depends on where we are in life. There are no two people in exactly the same place along these lines, but no matter who or where we are, may we all achieve the life goals and happiness that brings us the best level of comfort and satisfaction possible.
Here's to your thread and your successful journey in any case! All the best!
I understand what you are saying and there are many different viable ways to improve oneself. I just have built a great relationship with Jesus, he was there with me during difficult times, and I believe the Society of Friends is very fundamental to who I am as a person.
I understand what you are saying and there are many different viable ways to improve oneself. I just have built a great relationship with Jesus, he was there with me during difficult times, and I believe the Society of Friends is very fundamental to who I am as a person.
LearnMe is advocating a broader approach to self-development. It depends on what each is looking for in terms of character building.
Overcoming obstacles in self-improvement is easier when one is striving in the company of those aiming for the same goals. Fitness/physical training is a good example for showing the benefits of working in a group aiming for the same thing. Any coach would attest to that.
Character, in the spiritual/religious context, has a special definition not applicable in the secular world with a "one size to fit all" inclusive objective. The drive for spiritual perfection is a demanding vocation no less different than that in any specialized field of endeavor to attain human excellence. If you want to be a champion athlete/sportsman, you train with the best in your area of interest. There is no room for error. An F1 racing driver doesn't mess around when it come to specs for his car. And Djokovic hones his skill playing with the top 5 tennis player in the world every season. I don't think he even watch ping pong or badminton because that would really throw him off his rhythm and timing.
QuakerBaker, your kids are lucky to have you as their mom.
Thank you, you are too kind. I am still learning on the job. Later this spring my boys turn 2 and 1!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by myuen2
LearnMe is advocating a broader approach to self-development. It depends on what each is looking for in terms of character building.
Overcoming obstacles in self-improvement is easier when one is striving in the company of those aiming for the same goals. Fitness/physical training is a good example for showing the benefits of working in a group aiming for the same thing. Any coach would attest to that.
Character, in the spiritual/religious context, has a special definition not applicable in the secular world with a "one size to fit all" inclusive objective. The drive for spiritual perfection is a demanding vocation no less different than that in any specialized field of endeavor to attain human excellence. If you want to be a champion athlete/sportsman, you train with the best in your area of interest. There is no room for error. An F1 racing driver doesn't mess around when it come to specs for his car. And Djokovic hones his skill playing with the top 5 tennis player in the world every season. I don't think he even watch ping pong or badminton because that would really throw him off his rhythm and timing.
I understand what you are saying and there are many different viable ways to improve oneself. I just have built a great relationship with Jesus, he was there with me during difficult times, and I believe the Society of Friends is very fundamental to who I am as a person.
I will say that Quaker values are very portable—possibly more so than any Christian denomination besides Unitarian Universalism (to the extent they can be considered Christian, a fight in which I have no dog).
As you may be aware, Quaker primary and secondary schools are possibly the most religiously diverse of any religiously affiliated K-12 educational institution. In the Philadelphia area, Jews form a plurality-to-near-majority of the student bodies at Friends’ Central, Friends’ Select, Abington Friends, Germantown Friends, and Penn Charter, to name a few.
One of the main goals of being religious or spiritual is to improve or keep good character. But to improve one's character, you need to have some sort of a definition or measuring stick of what is good character.
So what is good character? I am sure that we might all define it in different ways. I came across this LINK from a Ted Gioia that defines 8 ways for evaluating character:
1. Look at who they are married to.
2. See how they treat service workers.
3. What experiences formed their early life.
4. How do they invest in their two most valuable resources.
5. What irritates them, as this likely is something that they have in themselves.
6. Can they listen?
7. If they cheat at small things, they cheat at big things.
8. Watch how they handle unexpected problems.
I actually do really well under this scoring system. I think I only fail at #8 because of anxiety attacks that I sometimes get in some situations. I think I get A+ for #s 1 (I love you hubby!), 2, 4, 6, and 7. I think #2, #4, #6, and #7 are the best points he has.
How do you all measure character?
I think it can be as simple as:
1) Do you have love in your heart and actions?
2) Do you seek to serve others through those loving actions?
3) Do you listen, for an enemy is merely someone's story you have refused to hear.
"You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is not another commandment greater than these." -Jesus in Mark 12:31
There are three levels of the first point, which is
A - "patience and forgiveness".
Level 1 - When someone does injustice to you, you do the same to them. And this is 100% justice. Nothing wrong with it.
Level 2 - When someone does injustice to you, and YOU (NOT the local law of the land) forgives them.
Level 3 - When someone does injustice to you, you do a favor to them in return.
Level 3 is the highest and most challenging one to achieve, and not many can't do it. Most, can't even imagine it's possibility.
B - Must not be a hypocrite who has two faces. Should be good and clean inside out.
C - 100% monogamous and faithful to his/her life partner.
D - If a man, then lowers his gaze when talking to other females (no lust in the eyes). And if a female then wears with modest clothing and avoids a slutty demeanor.
E - Respects his/her parents and treats them with tender love when they reach the old age.
F - Keeps his promise and does not break trust.
G - Truthfulness. Does not speak a lie even in a joking way.
H - Honest. Does not play games and lives an honest life in his day to work and in his means of earning.
I - Maintains excellent manners, etiquettes and is polite in speech. Meek and docile. Should have a full control on his/her anger.
J - Stands with the justice without any personal bias even if it goes against a family member or a loved one.
K - Kind to children, the elderly, the weak, and kind to animals and nature.
L - Generous in giving charity to the needy and less fortunate, and those who are in genuine need.
M - Must not go on any extremes.
N - Eats and sleeps in modesty.
O - Loves to achieve cleanliness, and has a good nice and clean appearance.
P - Does not waste resources and is caring towards other. Lives a minimal life style and is not greedy to pile up.
Q - And this one may irk some of us but this is just my personal opinion. Avoids drinking alcohol.
Alcohol drinking (regardless of the quantity), in my opinion is the mother of many, many, many ills. On a personal level and also on social level for the entire society.
Slowly and gradually, it takes many, many and many of us into darkness and abyss. But unfortunately, there is WAY, WAY, WAY JUST WAYYYY TOO MUCH money involved in it's business. And hence, with all the medical evidence against it's consumption, our governments and big corps wont advertise much against it's use.
There are three levels of the first point, which is
A - "patience and forgiveness".
Level 1 - When someone does injustice to you, you do the same to them. And this is 100% justice. Nothing wrong with it.
Level 2 - When someone does injustice to you, and YOU (NOT the local law of the land) forgives them.
Level 3 - When someone does injustice to you, you do a favor to them in return.
Level 3 is the highest and most challenging one to achieve, and not many can't do it. Most, can't even imagine it's possibility.
B - Must not be a hypocrite who has two faces. Should be good and clean inside out.
C - 100% monogamous and faithful to his/her life partner.
D - If a man, then lowers his gaze when talking to other females (no lust in the eyes). And if a female then wears with modest clothing and avoids a slutty demeanor.
E - Respects his/her parents and treats them with tender love when they reach the old age.
F - Keeps his promise and does not break trust.
G - Truthfulness. Does not speak a lie even in a joking way.
H - Honest. Does not play games and lives an honest life in his day to work and in his means of earning.
I - Maintains excellent manners, etiquettes and is polite in speech. Meek and docile. Should have a full control on his/her anger.
J - Stands with the justice without any personal bias even if it goes against a family member or a loved one.
K - Kind to children, the elderly, the weak, and kind to animals and nature.
L - Generous in giving charity to the needy and less fortunate, and those who are in genuine need.
M - Must not go on any extremes.
N - Eats and sleeps in modesty.
O - Loves to achieve cleanliness, and has a good nice and clean appearance.
P - Does not waste resources and is caring towards other. Lives a minimal life style and is not greedy to pile up.
Q - And this one may irk some of us but this is just my personal opinion. Avoids drinking alcohol.
Alcohol drinking (regardless of the quantity), in my opinion is the mother of many, many, many ills. On a personal level and also on social level for the entire society.
Slowly and gradually, it takes many, many and many of us into darkness and abyss. But unfortunately, there is WAY, WAY, WAY JUST WAYYYY TOO MUCH money involved in it's business. And hence, with all medical evidence against it's consumption, our governments and big corps wont advertise much against it's use.
Some interesting points. I like the be kind to children and don't touch alcohol. My father became an alcoholic and I completely avoid it...so does my husband...I am so happy he does avoid it.
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