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I have no desire to start WW3 with this post...I respectfully request anyone who replies does so with sincerity and honest thought, please.
I realize this is an inflammatory topic....one doesn't have to look any further than this very website to see that. And it's a topic I am struggling with daily right now.
As a native New Englander (guess that makes me a damn Yankee?) who is now living in Myrtle Beach, I am not adjusting well, and am considering a move back to New England. I have been here just over a year now but have vacationed here for many years before that, and never experienced first hand what I'm seeing now while vacationing.
I am trying to understand exactly WHAT it is that makes it so different here. I am speaking from a purely personal standpoint, and have no desire to offend anyone...merely to understand and perhaps overcome my frustrations with being here before I do make the decision to move back.
I'm not sure if what I'm seeing as differences are more common to Myrtle Beach (it's the only southern town I have lived in) or the south in general.
I have been on the receiving end of what feels like prejudice because I don't attend church. Church itself and faith based activities seem to be FAR more common here than where I grew up. When I have met new people, the first questions ares often, "how do you like living in South Carolina? what church do you go to?" And there's always a moment's pause and a bit of raised eyebrows when I say I don't go to church.
The food is quite different, some wonderful and some not so good. I haven't quite gotten used to how widely mayonnaise is used here...I have seen it on absolutely everything from scrambled eggs to fried baloney to banana sandwiches. I have eaten some of the best fried chicken I've ever had in my life, but have a hard time at a pig picking. Something about the idea seems barbaric...especially when it still looks like a pig! Maybe I need to broaden my horizons a bit, but I feel like a caveman tearing off a hunk of meat and eating it with my bare hands.
I have also encountered a fairly widespread derision of all things northern. I have had someone close to me (who is a born and bred southerner) blame the "damn yankees" for everything from the prices of crabs at southern restaurants to beach erosion. I see Confederate flags flown in front of houses quite frequently. I have actually had store clerks roll their eyes and ask where I'm from after I've asked a question and my New England accent is obvious. When I say, "I live in Myrtle Beach" I've heard, "well you may LIVE here but you're not FROM here.....there's no way you'd sound like THAT if you were a southerner!"
As a critical care nurse who has worked in big city hospitals I can guarantee everyone on this board has heard of (Georgetown, Johns Hopkins, Shock Trauma) I have been absolutely shocked at the quality of healthcare in the Myrtle Beach region. I have worked at several smaller hospitals here and been dismayed at what I've seen. Equipment is 10 years or more behind the times, and technology that is commonplace elsewhere isn't even on the radar screen here. But more than that? It seems like the population that some of these hospitals serve just don't care. For example, in Brunswick County, NC, I worked in a small hospital ICU. A patient in the emergency room was admitted to the ICU with a diagnosis of toothache/infected tooth. They had never seen a dentist. When I asked if it wouldn't be more appropriate to offer the patient some antibiotics and pain medicine and get an appointment at the free dental clinic rather than incurring a hospital bill they might not be able to pay, I was told by a staff member who has lived here all her life, "this is Brunswick county....do you REALLY think he would actually take the medicine and go to a followup appointment?" Ummmm, YEAH....I guess I thought that if people came to the hospital for care, they'd do what they needed to to get better? Now that's not to say non-compliance among patients doesn't happen in other places, but from almost a year working in healthcare in this area, non-compliance seems to be an EXPECTED response, rather than an unfortunate one. I am now dealing with a horrific commute to a big teaching hospital where it feels like what I do WILL make a difference every day....they are going to go home and not just do over and over the things that got them there in the first place.
I thought at first it had to do with inability to pay....but there are lots of things one can do to improve their health status that have nothing to do with money.
I have also noticed that things seem to center 100% on family and children. Now one could argue that's a good thing, and maybe to a certain extent it is. But when my male friend's mother drops in for the 4th time unannounced in the same day, it gets to be a bit much. I have spoken with a number of native southern friends who say that extended and extensive family is a part of every day life here, so I don't think this is unique to my friend.
The climate is an easy thing to identify as a difference. As much as I'm not sure I like New England winters, coastal South Carolina summers are every bit as harsh, just at the opposite end of the spectrum.
Maybe this is less common and just my very personal experience, but I have also noticed a disrespect for and dislike of authority or rules. I have heard often, "no one s gonna tell me how to run my life or make rules for MY kids....." At a get together with a number of people who have children, I sat back and observed this same sentiment among a number of people, not just my friend. I heard people complaining about getting speeding tickets (could you not read the speed limit sign?) and complaining about public areas being non smoking. There were a host of other topics but the general theme to the complaints was about anyone imposing wills or laws upon anyone else. And paying taxes..."exactly what does the county do for ME that I should have to pay taxes???? What have the cops and sheriff ever done but give me grief?"
Now I will be the first to admit that some of the interactions I have described here have been with groups of people who are not part of the same socio-economic class that I am, and maybe the difference is more financial than north-south in nature. But some of it clearly is not that...the store clerks, the church activities, etc. I have tried to be friendly and integrate into a very different cultural environment (I can't find a museum anywhere in Myrtle Beach.....) and sit back and observe and be respectful of differing traditions and lifestyles and to embrace joie de viv're, if you will. But I can honestly say that I have not felt very welcomed by the SC natives. The friends I have made here are generally "transplants" themselves.
So what's the next steps? Are the things I am experiencing common? Are they going to go away ever? Is it just the people I have spent time with, or is there really so much difference between the deep south and New England? I am lucky to have a job that will allow me to move easily if I decide to. But I don't want to completely give up on the south if this is just growing pains and will pass.
Again, please let me stress I'd like respectful and responsible replies, not a dixie vs yankee battle! Thanks in advance.
Oh my goodness.... Here, I decide to check in just before leaving town for several days, and this pops up. Well, I'm sure it will still be going strong when I return.
NEGolf - I wish you luck. My experience has been that New Englanders adapt much better to the South than other yankees. Not sure why, and I may be entirely wrong, but it has always seemed that way. Regardless, MB is probably the least Southern place I've ever been in the South (excluding FLA, which is really part of NJ that broke off and floated down here), and I've lived in various parts of the South all my long, long life. If you're worried that MB is "too" Southern, it's probably time to head home. I don't mean that with any malice at all, but the influx of migrants to this area has significantly de-Southernized the region. I understand what you say about the church thing, it's just how we were all raised. Pig Pickin's are a different story altogether. Above all else, even beyond Southern Baptists, BBQ is *THE* religion of the South. If the highlight of your week is not a visit to the local BBQ shack, you'll probably always be perceived down here as somewhat pagan, and definitely foreign. More than any other single thing, BBQ is *THE* culture of the South.
Wish I had an hour or so to type, but probably a good time to quit. I hope it don't get ugly, but good chance it will. Best of luck in whatever you decide.
I, too, am a recent transplant (moved from NY/NJ metro area this past spring) and I am an RN. Almost all of my neighbors and most of the people I have met here are from here, born here and have lived here all of their lives. None of them have been anything but friendly and helpful to me.
Apparently you changed your mind about starting a war. Otherwise you would not started this thread.
(BTW, everyone can read all of your posts. Including the one I quote below.)
I don't have the time or the interest to address each of your comments, however I will tell you that if, as you say, you have an obvious New England accent, and someone asks you where you are from, they mean where are you from, not where do you live now. It's a reasonable question and most likely intended in a friendly manner. Why would you take it as offensive?
Why do you feel the need to make such a distinction about the socio-economic factors? (between you and those you seem to think of as beneath you)
And as a nurse, do you really think that someone who had never been to a dentist in their entire life would understand the need for taking the antibiotics and going for follow-up? Give me a break!
You seem to look down on the people who most need your care! I, too, can lay claim to working in major trauma centers and critical care areas. I was the nurse manager for a 28 bed medical-surgical CICU (Miami Valley Hospital in Dayton Ohio - a level 3 trauma center) and have worked in various critical care areas for over 20 years including ER, CICU, and PACU. I also taught nursing at Wright State University in Dayton, OH. Your attitude and the comments you made here are embarrassing to our whole profession.
Below I quote what you said about not wanting to "throw gas on the fire." You lit the match! And as PD said to another SC hater, don't let that screen door hit you!
"Rnrboy, no, I don't care to go into the distinctions. The things I am finding uncomfortable about living in the south are my own feelings, and I suspect starting a discussion in answer to your question will do nothing more than create a hateful atmosphere here on the forum. There are lots and lots of people who love all things southern, and as I said, I intend no disrespect. It's partially climate....SC in August surely has to be as close to hell on earth (temperature-wise) as one will ever get! But it's also other things that I don't need to justify to anyone but myself. There are plenty of places within this forum that people can read about different mindsets in different areas of the country and I'll not throw gas on that fire. But thanks for your question all the same."
I hesitate to get in on this discussion, but what the heck, I've got some free time. I would like to say that I currently live in New England and have been dreaming about moving to Myrtle Beach since my very first day of my very first visit there several years ago.
I respect the original poster's right to each opinion stated in the post, but I will say that they sound no different than things I've experienced living in N.E. and I suspect I would experience living anywhere (except maybe for the church-going part. In N.E. it's true that there are a lot less families or individuals who make church part of their lives, myself included. But I would think a polite, honest answer that you've never been a regular church-goer would be perfectly acceptable to most folks.)
Perhaps you're reading too much into the reaction to your response to the church question? Just a thought. I'm sure you'll find people in MB just as there are everywhere who are judgmental and pious, but surely not everyone can be reacting that way. Most of the folks I've met in the area are transplants themselves! In fact, I laughed while talking to a stranger at a restaurant on my most recent visit that the population of MB seems to be "from everywhere" because everyone you meet, if you ask them where they're from they're likely to say they're originally from a different part of the country.
Whenever I tell someone I'm from N.E. I get nothing but warm responses. I've seen nothing that would lead me to think people in MB dislike northerners. In fact I have heard many stories from people who live there about how wonderfully they were accepted when they move to MB from the north. I completely agree with the person who posted saying perhaps you're misreading the reaction when you say where you're from. "Where are you from" means where are you from originally, not where are you living right now, and if you have a particularly heavy N.E. accent that's a perfectly reasonable question for people to ask you.
The food - well, I mean this with no offense, but that seems awfully silly. Up here in N.E. we eat things that would seem strange to someone from another area, and also things that are just "regional" fare. My friend from North Carolina loves to visit us up here because she can't get steak tips where she lives and she loves them. When I was a kid uncle married a woman from the Philipines and she came to a family party and roasted a whole pig on a spit (I imagine that's what "pig picking" is like, but I could be wrong.) I didn't eat it, but I didn't mind that she did it, and neither did anyone else.
As for what you describe with a nurse saying "Do you really think they're going to take the medicine they need," well I'm surprised that that was a shock to you because I don't even work in the healthcare industry and I see that all the time! Especially in larger cities! Noncompliance is a huge problem everywhere, but it sounds like what you're describing is not a regional issue but just a workplace culture issue in the particular teaching hospital you work in.
The climate bit puzzled me as well. You sure can't do anything about that one. I would suspect that when moving to a new area (and I'm not sure if you chose to move to MB or if you had to due to other circumstances) you would know the climate and make sure it was something that suited you. I was born in N.E. but I sure as heck wouldn't have chosen to live here. I despise the cold and snow and the harsh winters make me miserable. But I've been to MB smack in the middle of summer, and while it's certainly a whole lot more humid I find it just as blazing hot in N.E. in July and August (except for this past summer where we had record lows).
As for the disregard for authority or rules, how often does this happen? I suspect it's not a daily thing or something you hear from everyone you meet. I've never witnessed it in my time in MB, but I've witnessed it from time to time where I live, and I think you'll probably get a few of the "What do I get for my tax dollars" grumblings anywhere.
So in response to your question: yeah, it sounds like it's partly due to the people you're spending time with. And maybe it's partly that you're not entirely comfortable being out of N.E. and you really want to move back and are looking for reasons to do so. Who knows?
I respect your right to say all that you said, and you're entitled to feel any way you want. I will say that nothing you said would in any way deter me from packing up right now and moving to MB, and if the economy and job market were a lot better I would already have done so!
I will not get into a personal battle with you. If you don't have the interest in answering my questions, kindly refrain from doing so and don't bother with the personal attacks. They aren't useful at all. I'm not going to justify my questions, and certainly not to the likes of you who has no interest in offering any insight or helpful information for someone struggling with a different lifestyle.
The Providence forum is NOT the place to discuss my issues with the south being a different culture and lifestyle. THAT is why I didn't discuss that there but brought it here.
I will NOT be responding further to your attacks, so have fun if you must. I stated several times that I am looking for responsible, respectful and sincere replies, which you obviously aren't interested in doing. You're someone supposedly educated and compassionate, too.
What you thought you would accomplish with your post is beyond me.
Do have a wonderful day.
Last edited by NevrEnufGolf; 10-09-2009 at 12:00 PM..
Thank you for the time and thought in your replies.
As I said in my other post, certainly there are things in every region that are different from other parts of the country, and I know anyone moving from one region to another is going to have some new experiences...some good, some not. I have no doubt that people moving from here to New England will experience things that to me are very commonplace but to them may be difficult or disturbing. That's the whole point of my questions......I'm not finding a happy medium and trying to figure out what is just me needing to give this more time or if it's that there really ARE differences that just don't work for me. Not everyone thinks every place on earth is heaven. It doesn't make any place better or worse, just different.
I suspect that what is going on is just that in the last few months I have bumped into a lot of the differences all at once, maybe from spending more time with my male friend, and being more immersed in the southern culture than I have been. Having worked a difficult schedule for the early part of my time here, I didn't spend as much time out and around as I have lately, and it's an adjustment.
I'm well aware that I can't control the climate. LOL My point in that was that when I moved here, the New England winters were something I was eager to get away from. I hadn't lived any place where it gets this hot and humid during the summer. So while I find the climate a bit intense in the summer, that's not a huge issue...it is in New England, too, just in the wnter. The climate alone wouldn't be anything that would make any kind of decision for me.
Really it's more of a bunch of little things than any one. The food isn't enough alone...nor the climate or anything. It's just an accumulation of things that all together feel like a lot. I don't care that people go to pig pickings, but I felt really out of place and can't imagine it being something I'd get to enjoy every weekend.
For the record...I don't hate it here, contrary to what the "oh so kind and full of southern charm" Vrexy thinks. I'm finding a lot of lifestyle and cultural differences from where I grew up, and don't really know how to go about adjusting to them. If I don't plan my life around when the next pig picking is, or go to church 2 or 3 times a week, am I ever going to be able to make SC home? I don't go around calling people "rednecks" even in a joking way, and yet getting called "hey, Yankee" gets old.
Thank you again to those who have taken the time to try to be helpful.
I will have a wonderful day! Already am! And, I won't refrain from saying what I want to say. I never asked you to justify your questions nor did I intend to get into a personal battle with you. I simply stated my views, as did you, you who were the one posing questions. Free country, last time I checked. If my comments weren't helpful to you, ignore them. But I will stand up for my profession and not accept ignorant statements as representative of the entire body of nursing. Nothing I said was a personal attack on you and I'm sorry if you misinterpreted my comments as such.
Like I said, you lit a match. (You knew this was an inflammatory thread when you started it. Said so yourself!)
I just poured a bit of the water of reality and rained on your parade.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NevrEnufGolf
I will not get into a personal battle with you. If you don't have the interest in answering my questions, kindly refrain from doing so and don't bother with the personal attacks. They aren't useful at all.
I'm not going to justify my questions, and certainly not to the likes of you who has no interest in offering any insight or helpful information for someone struggling with a different lifestyle.
The Providence forum is NOT the place to discuss my issues with the south being a different culture and lifestyle. THAT is why I didn't discuss that there but brought it here.
I will NOT be responding further to your attacks, so have fun if you must. I stated several times that I am looking for responsible, respectful and sincere replies, which you obviously aren't capable of doing. For someone supposedly eduacted and compassionate, you dropped the ball completely. What you thought you would accomplish with your post is beyond me. But since you have shown yourself to be totally unhelpful, I won't bother with your posts anymore.
Do have a wonderful day. Just please don't waste any of MY time with it.
I'm not going to jump into the fray here, but since you mentioned no museums in MB I will mention that there actually are some museums in the MB area, if not MB itself.
There is an art museum near the Springmaid Pier on the southern end of the city. There is an Horry County Museum in Conway. There is a Rice Planter's Museum in Georgetown. I'm sure there are others, but those are the ones I have heard of. I've never been to any of them, so I can't offer details. I HAVE been to the Children's Museum near Cap'n Hook's Mini Golf and that was awesome, but unless you're under the age of 10 or have someone with you who is I doubt it's for you.
I have friends that I met on another message board who have moved from N.E. to MB and they absolutely love it. I also have a friend from that message board who moved from PA and is in the health care field and she loves it there too.
I hope you are able to find (or make) your peace, and if you do find that all those little things piling up are just too much to overcome, then I hope you are able to find a place that does suit you, without winter.
I have no desire to start WW3 with this post...I respectfully request anyone who replies does so with sincerity and honest thought, please.
I realize this is an inflammatory topic....one doesn't have to look any further than this very website to see that. And it's a topic I am struggling with daily right now.
As a native New Englander (guess that makes me a damn Yankee?) who is now living in Myrtle Beach, I am not adjusting well, and am considering a move back to New England. I have been here just over a year now but have vacationed here for many years before that, and never experienced first hand what I'm seeing now while vacationing.
I am trying to understand exactly WHAT it is that makes it so different here. I am speaking from a purely personal standpoint, and have no desire to offend anyone...merely to understand and perhaps overcome my frustrations with being here before I do make the decision to move back.
I'm not sure if what I'm seeing as differences are more common to Myrtle Beach (it's the only southern town I have lived in) or the south in general.
I have been on the receiving end of what feels like prejudice because I don't attend church. Church itself and faith based activities seem to be FAR more common here than where I grew up. When I have met new people, the first questions ares often, "how do you like living in South Carolina? what church do you go to?" And there's always a moment's pause and a bit of raised eyebrows when I say I don't go to church.
The food is quite different, some wonderful and some not so good. I haven't quite gotten used to how widely mayonnaise is used here...I have seen it on absolutely everything from scrambled eggs to fried baloney to banana sandwiches. I have eaten some of the best fried chicken I've ever had in my life, but have a hard time at a pig picking. Something about the idea seems barbaric...especially when it still looks like a pig! Maybe I need to broaden my horizons a bit, but I feel like a caveman tearing off a hunk of meat and eating it with my bare hands.
I have also encountered a fairly widespread derision of all things northern. I have had someone close to me (who is a born and bred southerner) blame the "damn yankees" for everything from the prices of crabs at southern restaurants to beach erosion. I see Confederate flags flown in front of houses quite frequently. I have actually had store clerks roll their eyes and ask where I'm from after I've asked a question and my New England accent is obvious. When I say, "I live in Myrtle Beach" I've heard, "well you may LIVE here but you're not FROM here.....there's no way you'd sound like THAT if you were a southerner!"
As a critical care nurse who has worked in big city hospitals I can guarantee everyone on this board has heard of (Georgetown, Johns Hopkins, Shock Trauma) I have been absolutely shocked at the quality of healthcare in the Myrtle Beach region. I have worked at several smaller hospitals here and been dismayed at what I've seen. Equipment is 10 years or more behind the times, and technology that is commonplace elsewhere isn't even on the radar screen here. But more than that? It seems like the population that some of these hospitals serve just don't care. For example, in Brunswick County, NC, I worked in a small hospital ICU. A patient in the emergency room was admitted to the ICU with a diagnosis of toothache/infected tooth. They had never seen a dentist. When I asked if it wouldn't be more appropriate to offer the patient some antibiotics and pain medicine and get an appointment at the free dental clinic rather than incurring a hospital bill they might not be able to pay, I was told by a staff member who has lived here all her life, "this is Brunswick county....do you REALLY think he would actually take the medicine and go to a followup appointment?" Ummmm, YEAH....I guess I thought that if people came to the hospital for care, they'd do what they needed to to get better? Now that's not to say non-compliance among patients doesn't happen in other places, but from almost a year working in healthcare in this area, non-compliance seems to be an EXPECTED response, rather than an unfortunate one. I am now dealing with a horrific commute to a big teaching hospital where it feels like what I do WILL make a difference every day....they are going to go home and not just do over and over the things that got them there in the first place.
I thought at first it had to do with inability to pay....but there are lots of things one can do to improve their health status that have nothing to do with money.
I have also noticed that things seem to center 100% on family and children. Now one could argue that's a good thing, and maybe to a certain extent it is. But when my male friend's mother drops in for the 4th time unannounced in the same day, it gets to be a bit much. I have spoken with a number of native southern friends who say that extended and extensive family is a part of every day life here, so I don't think this is unique to my friend.
The climate is an easy thing to identify as a difference. As much as I'm not sure I like New England winters, coastal South Carolina summers are every bit as harsh, just at the opposite end of the spectrum.
Maybe this is less common and just my very personal experience, but I have also noticed a disrespect for and dislike of authority or rules. I have heard often, "no one s gonna tell me how to run my life or make rules for MY kids....." At a get together with a number of people who have children, I sat back and observed this same sentiment among a number of people, not just my friend. I heard people complaining about getting speeding tickets (could you not read the speed limit sign?) and complaining about public areas being non smoking. There were a host of other topics but the general theme to the complaints was about anyone imposing wills or laws upon anyone else. And paying taxes..."exactly what does the county do for ME that I should have to pay taxes???? What have the cops and sheriff ever done but give me grief?"
Now I will be the first to admit that some of the interactions I have described here have been with groups of people who are not part of the same socio-economic class that I am, and maybe the difference is more financial than north-south in nature. But some of it clearly is not that...the store clerks, the church activities, etc. I have tried to be friendly and integrate into a very different cultural environment (I can't find a museum anywhere in Myrtle Beach.....) and sit back and observe and be respectful of differing traditions and lifestyles and to embrace joie de viv're, if you will. But I can honestly say that I have not felt very welcomed by the SC natives. The friends I have made here are generally "transplants" themselves.
So what's the next steps? Are the things I am experiencing common? Are they going to go away ever? Is it just the people I have spent time with, or is there really so much difference between the deep south and New England? I am lucky to have a job that will allow me to move easily if I decide to. But I don't want to completely give up on the south if this is just growing pains and will pass.
Again, please let me stress I'd like respectful and responsible replies, not a dixie vs yankee battle! Thanks in advance.
The only thing I can comment on is about the medical equipment I know for sure Siemens who purchased Dade-Behring is putting a metric ton of brand new chemistry analyzers in the MB area. I know Grand Strand, Waccamaw, Conway, and a couple other hospitals and health care facilities have all put in orders and are awaiting brand new chemistry analyzers. So as far as I can tell they are trying to become a better health care system in the area.
Also culture shock is something I went through myself. Moving from south Fl to Charleston Sc was night and day. It is either something you can adjust to or you cannot. I adjusted somewhat, but I found it easier meeting other transplants and being friends and using them as help to adjust. Also going from S. Fl to Sc summers was a lot easier for me, but i would assume the winters should be an easy adjustment for you. Hope everything goes well.
Quite frankly your "friends" sound like a bunch trash. But your complaing isn't much different.
I am Southern and I get asked all the time where I am from...because I sound Mountain Southern not South Carolina Southern...people ask because they are being conversational. I ask my neighbors where they are from and about their lives because I find it interesting. I have been asked where I go to church I respond I haven't found one yet. So what?
I have lived in nine different Southern Towns and this is by far the least Southern ( or religious ).
Just from reading your post it is pretty clear where the problem lies.
Last edited by southernbychoice14; 10-09-2009 at 07:48 PM..
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) who is now living in Myrtle Beach, I am not adjusting well, and am considering a move back to New England. I have been here just over a year now but have vacationed here for many years before that, and never experienced first hand what I'm seeing now while vacationing.
Ummmm, YEAH....I guess I thought that if people came to the hospital for care, they'd do what they needed to to get better? Now that's not to say non-compliance among patients doesn't happen in other places, but from almost a year working in healthcare in this area, non-compliance seems to be an EXPECTED response, rather than an unfortunate one. I am now dealing with a horrific commute to a big teaching hospital where it feels like what I do WILL make a difference every day....they are going to go home and not just do over and over the things that got them there in the first place. 
WW3 - firing back!
