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When you say "meeting someone", is this about a dating relationship? I don't even live there and meet all kinds of people. I'm sure if I lived there, I'd be on an easy chat basis with dozens of people. I ride buses a lot and chat with strangers all the time. I was very introverted, but I stopped worrying so much about if I'd look or sound like a fool. I decided that most strangers are not that judgmental. You just don't want to load your troubles or controversial opinions on them ( I have LOTS of controversial opinions). It's all about "common ground". You have SOMETHING in common with almost every single person you meet. Conversation helps bring it out. Where something comes up that is divisive, you needn't pursue it. But once you find their enthusiasm, you can feed on that for hour after hour.
I wasn't necessarily speaking of dating, although I guess that could be included. I was thinking more along the lines of making new friends. I talk to people all the time, often times complete strangers. However, excluding conversations with store clerks, I rarely initiate a conversation with a stranger unless I can clearly see they're involved with something that also interests me. For example, if I happen to notice they're carrying an old film camera, or if I see them drawing in a sketchbook, etc. Basically things I can discuss with a passable level of knowledge. If the person's just sitting there on the bus, staring out the window, that's when I can't think of a thing to say. And of course that's the more typical scenario. While I am pretty introverted, I'm not so much concerned with how I'll come across, it's more the fact that I simply can't think of a conversation starter unless I can immediately see something we have in common. The thing is, any time I do have a conversation with a stranger or store clerk in this town, it's always pleasant.
And then there are hobbies and social activities. Once you find one that makes you forget you are looking for friends, it may well be you'll find them. My answer was finding Irish set dancing. I'm a fan of all kinds of dancing, but Irish dancing sort of caught my fancy when I watched some movies for Ireland. After that, it seemed like one domino after another fell. Up to that point, I really had been pretty passive about filling days with anything social. When I tried going out and taking an interest in life, it became something I could talk about with people. And conversation is a lot easier when you aren't still pretending you are in high school. That kind of awkward interaction is better left behind as soon as possible.
Oh man, I can barely remember high school. I actually made tons of friends in high school, though. I was one of those kids who wasn't exactly the star quarterback or the popular class clown, but I got along fine with almost everyone and they seemed to like me well enough. And I was a LOT more shy back then. Almost a completely different person, in fact.
Beachmel, I have lived in the Pacific Northwest most of my life. What are you talking about Move Here?? What do you mean, why did I move to this part of the country? I was raised here! And, Bellinghole is just one town in the Pacific NOrthwest. Oh, you mentioned you are not from Bellinghole? You mention you haven't spent a long time there? Then, what the heck do you know.. Your post is void. I have now lived in Bellinghole, along with the rest of the Pacific Northwest for over 20 years.. Also, not every place in the Pac NW is as depressing as Bellinghole and I have lived in many places in the Pac NW. Sorry, that I point out some of the fallacies of the PNW. You live in a place long enough, you can identify some of them. Bellinghole, as I said, was unique in its arrogance. One problem with some people here is they never get out and try to investigate things deeply, aka simple-minded. It sounds like you are spending your time criticizing and attacking me for the fact that I scrutinize and that I am critical of some sociological issues I have encountered in Bellinghole. I do not conform to your standards, therefore, I have a problem. I think, therefore I am dangerous! You obviously don't spend much time examining such issues deeply, hence why you didn't bother reading that I am from the Pacific Northwest and attack me as an "outsider" and question why I moved to the Pacific Northwest. Your response is obviously shallow and uninformed.
I keep ranting about the bartender? I'm thinking its the prick who got his feelings hurt that I needed wifi.. They made me go into bar, buy a drink then gave me wifi code that didn't work.. I told them upfront I needed wifi and they said it worked. Sorry, but that is crap customer service IMO. Yeah, the guy was a rude jerk, slamming my money down and cold shouldering me. I am a customer and I was polite. I needed to use wifi badly and they wasted a lot of my time by misinforming me about it. I was polite about it and said I need to go get my bill and leave so I can find it elsewhere. Unfortunately, the bartender himself, was acting like an immature brat.. Yeah, I guess I am really evil for not kissing his shoes. How honorable it was that they let me sit at their bar.. BTW.. I don't care about the bar or bartender.. It was merely an example.. Once again, outsider?? Since when does being an a-hole to a customer have anything to do with being inside/outside?
Great post Robert. I think we see eye to eye on most things. The only thing I have to say is that Eugene is more of a mixed bag than you think. For example, as hippy as Eugene is, it's sister city Springfield, is just as redneck. Eugene is a funny mix of good ol boy rednecks and granola hairy hippy types. I found U of O and Eugene a much friendlier environment overall than Bellinghole.. That isn't to say Eugene didn't have its share of problems. Being burglarized like 3 times and having lots of stuff stolen from me was one. Eugene's drug epidemic is indeed far worse than anything I have seen anywhere in Washington. Maybe Spokane is worse, but I haven't really been there much, so I don't know.
Eugene, wasn't my favorite place either, but not because it was a college town. Supringsly, Bellinghole felt more like a college town to me than Eugene, which is only college-like in the Eastside of town near the college. Bellinghole, it just seemed like I could not escape the grungy college element. U of O students did not seem nearly as anal and cold as what I experienced at WWU.. Then agian, I was in Eugene over 13 years ago, so maybe things changed. Maybe, it's the uber-Scandinavian vibe present in Bellinghole mixed with the isolation. I don't know.
BTW, I am in the Seattle/Tacoma area now and I do like the area a lot more. It's really NICE being out of a college town. If I need a college fix, I drive to the U-District for a couple hours than I leave! And, funny enough, I have found U of W crowd more interesting and diverse than the WWU crowd. It seems like UW students have more on the ball. I don't know what it is, as I haven't spent much time in the U-District, but it was better than I expected. As Robert said, college in an urban environment is better, as you are connected with the real world while you are learning at school. I've learned to avoid dreary Northwest college towns. Actually, I like Seattle for the most part. It's a beautiful city and the area has a lot of beauty, even more than Bellingham. At least Seattle is a city where people actually work for a living and live normal lives. Bellinghole is like the twilight zone, nothing feels real. It's a town full of drugged/drunk college kids with no manners combined with people working low-end jobs who have no real aspirations in life. I wish I could write words to describe my feelings about it.
Well, Bellinghole is just a memory now.. Good riddance. I like where I live a lot better now. Yeah, I know the Pacific Northwest seems a bit depressing, lonesome and reserved at times.. However, I always accepted that part of it, but Bellinghole was just straight unfriendly and depressed. Portland and Seattle are much nicer places to live. Despite being big cities the people are easy-going and friendly for the most part.
This post is over a month old now..
Bye, bye, Bellinghole. I will not miss you.. My Mount Rainier view blows away my Mt Baker view BTW.. You cannot hardly even see Baker from most of Bellinghole.. How lame
How ironic. I have a dear friend who has spent quite a lot of time in Bellingham, staying with friends who have lived there for years. She loves it so much, that she recently made the decision to move there herself. She loves it. Clearly, she doesn't feel quite the same about the place as you do. Oh, by the way....she is an anti-drug/alcohol, straight and narrow, hard-working young woman. One of the things that she loves so much about the place is that "she just FITS in" and loves her new job. She claims the people she's made friends with are down to earth, don't bother anybody, live and let live folks. Clearly, it's all in the perception and attitude.
Addition: I can almost imagine just how horrid the bartender and others must have treated you. Yes...I can imagine. After all, YOUR perception of my post to you was, "I attacked you!!" OMG...really? LOL Yes, everyone has an attitude, right?...everyone but you, that is.
How ironic. I have a dear friend who has spent quite a lot of time in Bellingham, staying with friends who have lived there for years. She loves it so much, that she recently made the decision to move there herself. She loves it. Clearly, she doesn't feel quite the same about the place as you do. Oh, by the way....she is an anti-drug/alcohol, straight and narrow, hard-working young woman. One of the things that she loves so much about the place is that "she just FITS in" and loves her new job. She claims the people she's made friends with are down to earth, don't bother anybody, live and let live folks. Clearly, it's all in the perception and attitude.
Hey, every place in the world has good and bad. I didn't say that every single person in Bellingham was a good-for-nothing loser. There certainly are people in Bellingham that have it on the ball. Sadly, in my opinion, they are quite short in supply, but they are there. Yeah, I am sure if I would have stayed for a while maybe I could have met some more upstanding people. Sadly, I was working long hours from home and stuck in the college area. It was hard to find anything to do outside bars, clubs and drinking. I'm very happy for your friend. Bellingham does have many great things, the people sadly, are just not one of the attractions. I will forever miss the parks that were easily accessible in that town.
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel
Addition: I can almost imagine just how horrid the bartender and others must have treated you. Yes...I can imagine. After all, YOUR perception of my post to you was, "I attacked you!!" OMG...really? LOL Yes, everyone has an attitude, right?...everyone but you, that is.
Please don't be so dramatic . From reading your posts, you seem to have the tendency to blast things out of proportion. I didn't say he was horrid, he was just a snooty prick. I have gotten past him and actually returned to that bar a few occasions and had better service. I've gotten over it, now can you get over the fact that I wrote a complaint about this guy? Can you get over the fact I don't like Bellingham? I hope so..
How ironic. I have a dear friend who has spent quite a lot of time in Bellingham, staying with friends who have lived there for years. She loves it so much, that she recently made the decision to move there herself. She loves it.
Is she a product of the PNW, or has she been a successful transplant to the region for a prolonged time?
And then there are hobbies and social activities. Once you find one that makes you forget you are looking for friends, it may well be you'll find them. My answer was finding Irish set dancing. I'm a fan of all kinds of dancing, but Irish dancing sort of caught my fancy when I watched some movies for Ireland. After that, it seemed like one domino after another fell. Up to that point, I really had been pretty passive about filling days with anything social. When I tried going out and taking an interest in life, it became something I could talk about with people. And conversation is a lot easier when you aren't still pretending you are in high school. That kind of awkward interaction is better left behind as soon as possible.
You have a wonderful outlook on life and a great attitude. You will go far BH4E and because of your attitude, will likely fit in anywhere you go.
Is she a product of the PNW, or has she been a successful transplant to the region for a prolonged time?
Robert, thanks for asking. Actually, she is a successful transplant!
EastMeetsWest7...again, it's all in your perception, concerning me blasting things out of proportion. You seem to be projecting your attitude on my posts. Although, admittedly, I do occasionally post dramatic posts...you are the one who is reading far more emotion and "drama" into my posts, than I'm feeling as I'm writing them. Clearly, you didn't fit in Bellingham. I mean, it's just that simple. It is interesting though, that you said you were surrounded by a bunch of college kids where you were living, when in Bellingham, and you hated it, yet you patrol the UW campus whenever you need a "college fix". Hmmm
What's so interesting? Colleges can be interesting. I enjoy taking strolls around the campuses and seeing the diverse crowd and all the events college host. The Ave in the U-District is actually quite fun and hosts all types of interesting ethnic cuisines. It is way more mellow also than Holly St in Bellinghole. Western was a beautiful campus, but it seemed lacking in every other way as far as colleges are concerned. For example, I joined a little group hosted by a U of W professor who was doing research about anthropology/historical research on a certain cultural background that interests me. He hosts certain events and I offered to help him with some of his research in my free time. I won't go into details, but this is one of the great things about being near a major University. Sadly, I feel that most of the people at WWU had more concern for partying and getting high then getting involved with extracurricular activities. It just didn't really feel like an intellectual type of atmosphere at Western. It reminded me a bit more of Southern Oregon University, where I went when I was young. That is another small college locked away in an isolated liberal mountain town. People spent more time partying than getting involved in groups or activities that were more culturally and intellectually stimulating. However, I felt the people at Southern Oregon were more cheery and friendly, as well as in the whole town of Ashland, then at WWU or Bellinghole. I tried finding activities or groups hosted by the school and there was absolutely nothing. The town it self also seem to be lacking any type of groups or activities. It appears that the bars in Bellinghole are essentially the churches for the majority of the town. I could almost find every person I would see at the health food stores, coffeehops, food joints at any one of these various bars at any various night. The bartenders, essentially held the jobs as priests/pastors.
Yes, your post was dramatic. I was saying how I didn't like Bellinghole and you got a bit emotional about it. At least, that was how I interpreted what you wrote, but I can be wrong. Whatever, I don't care.. I'm glad you like Bellingham.
EMW, could it be there was little to no activity at WWU because you were here during summer? I know the university in my home town (which is considerably larger than WWU) is always completely dead all summer long. There are a few summer courses, but hardly anyone takes them. It's like a ghost town.
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I actually made tons of friends in high school, though. I was one of those kids who wasn't exactly the star quarterback or the popular class clown, but I got along fine with almost everyone and they seemed to like me well enough. And I was a LOT more shy back then. Almost a completely different person, in fact.
. From reading your posts, you seem to have the tendency to blast things out of proportion. I didn't say he was horrid, he was just a snooty prick. I have gotten past him and actually returned to that bar a few occasions and had better service. I've gotten over it, now can you get over the fact that I wrote a complaint about this guy? Can you get over the fact I don't like Bellingham? I hope so.. 
