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This is SO interesting. I am literally trying to find a rental for the sole purpose of moving to Bellingham because I've been in Texas for years and can't meet anyone. I am so glad I ran across this post. I too think, from what I can tell, that Bellingham is a beautiful place. Had NO idea it was a college town. I'm ok with not having a bunch of people in my life and a lot of friends; I much rather prefer to stay to myself BUT the purpose of the move was to meet a guy. I'll be 40 in December so I will probably have an even harder time. Well, fortunate I got a response about rentals in Vancouver (WA, no Canada). Maybe I should ask around before driving 35 miles away!
When I was researching towns to move to, I found there was surprisingly little information about Bellingham. Or if it was out there, I sure couldn't find much. The climate looked like what I wanted, but that's about all I knew. I started reading articles (and the comments section) on the Bellingham Herald's website, which did help to give me a better picture of what the town was like. But there's just no substitute for visiting a place, and I did exactly that (in winter, of course). But even then visiting is different than living somewhere. And you could read every post in every thread on this board and still not really know how you'll like living here. As of last Thursday I had been here exactly a year. I considered starting a thread describing my experiences here, but I realized that I'm so atypical that I'm not sure anything I'd say would be of use to anyone else. I have no interest in owning a house, I have no interest in owning a car, I'm not married, I don't have kids, and for income I'm either going to be doing very blue-collar, physically demanding work, or trying to eke out a living doing something art related. I don't drink or go to bars, I rarely go to restaurants, I'm not even slightly religious, and as you already know I'm fairly indifferent toward making friends. Basically all the typical questions people ask on this site are things I that don't apply to me, and so I couldn't tell you anything about them. If you want to know if the schools in Bellingham are decent, or what the housing market's like, I couldn't tell you. But I could tell you how to bicycle from Fairhaven to Whatcom Falls while avoiding most of the streets, or where to buy medium format film for your vintage camera. Basically, stuff that's going to be useless to most people, but very handy for me.
You seem like quite an interesting character, Lamplight. Seriously, I wish I could be more like yourself; enjoying the solitude and being alone. Somehow, I think you really fit in with the Scandinavian culture of the Northwest. A Swedish fellow once told me, that every Scandinavian is a loner at heart. I guess it's something about the culture, mindset. Indeed, I do like my solitude and hate being around endless people. When I was in Africa it was a challenge, because it was like the exact opposite of here and I had too many poeple around me all the time and being of the lighter-skin color, I always was having to explain myself all the time. Nonetheless, it was nice having people all over the place who were so friendly and always wanting to talk, sit down for tea or food. I like the communal and social way of life of the Eastern cultures, but the solitary and solemn, more isolated cultures of the Western world also have some advantages. Perhaps, I am looking for something in between.
As far as Southern racism, I am glad you are so honest about it. Unlike some of my family members, I am white skinned, but I am Jewish with middle eastern features. I usually wear my Kippa (Head Covering) everywhere I go. Basically, I know I would probably be more a prime target for racism in the South than even black people. My grandfather was in Virginia during WWII and said he would see anti-Semitic signs everywhere saying "Jews/Colors Off The Grass", things like that. He said he was treated badly when people found out he was Jewish. That was about 70 years ago, of course. I would hate to live in a place that had "Jim-Crow Laws". Yeah, it was 50 years ago, but that is not so long in my book.
Well, at least in Bellingham I don't have to worry about racism so much. There are neo-nazis groups in ORegon, where I lived, but they mostly are in the smaller towns and operate very discreetly. Maybe, as you say, cities like Nashville are safer from racism, but I have looked at the crime rate there. Nashville's murder rate is like 5 times that of Tacoma and we think Tacoma is so bad here in the Pac NW.
I'm glad you understand me about the college aged people around here. They seem to have no respect or manners. It is truly annoying. I think kids these days are not disciplined very well, so when they go on to school and live on there own, they run around and act wild and have to grow up a bit later. It seems by the senior year, many of them start to realize they have to be adults and the real world is not a circus. I just see a lack of maturity, but then, maybe that was the way it was when I was that age too. A couple or few weeks ago I called the police on a bunch of drunk loud-mouth college kids who went on my 80-year neighbors lawn and starting screaming at the top of their lungs at 2AM. They were screaming, cursing and drinking beers illegally they brought from the local bar. I shouted from my window I will call the police and that they are trespassing, then they starting cussing, insulting and threatening me. THey then tossed their beer cans on her lawn and ran and I called the police. It just goes to show me the lack of respect people have these days, especially the younger generation. It just seems like a lot of the college-aged or "cool" people as I call them (as not all of them are college-aged), just care about themselves. During the day they act conceited, stuck-up and arrogant, during the night they get wild, drunk , rude and sometimes a bit violent. That isn't to say all of them are like this, but there is enough to really annoy me.
If I hang out in Bellingham, perhaps Fairhaven will be the place to be. It just seems quite dead during the evenings to me and most people look at me like I am out of place being a 30-something guy on my own. I was to attend one of the book readings at the book store once but I was the only person there without gray hair, so I felt a bit awkward and left. I know that is a bit polarizing of me, but when I'm the youngest person around a bunch of older people, I feel like I will be not welcomed. I use to attend some of the yuppie wine bars in some of places I lived. They seem to attract the 40-60 year old yuppie crowd. Being, obviously younger, I would just be ignored by most of people, who felt a younger guy was not worthy of their time or conversation.
Last edited by EastMeetsWest7; 08-11-2012 at 02:45 PM..
Im going to be moving to Bellingham in the next few weeks. im female,in my 30's and Jewish.it sounds pretty depressing there.
I have to find a place to live,since Ill be moving from Seattle.i grew up in NYC,and have lived in Seattle for 10 years... so this will probably be culture shock,
Can anyone recommend a decent ,inexpensive area. ive never even been to Bellingham.Any other advice?
Im going to be moving to Bellingham in the next few weeks. im female,in my 30's and Jewish.it sounds pretty depressing there.
I have to find a place to live,since Ill be moving from Seattle.i grew up in NYC,and have lived in Seattle for 10 years... so this will probably be culture shock,
Can anyone recommend a decent ,inexpensive area. ive never even been to Bellingham.Any other advice?
Bellingham isn't ALL depressing. You'll see me ranting about weather on other threads, but if you're used to Seattle, you'll not be shocked by the weather.
"Decent" and "inexpensive" might be somewhat of an oxymoron. But compared to the price of Seattle, most areas will be less expensive! I would avoid living near the colleges- both Whatcom Community College and WWU. You'll have trouble living there if you're not a college student and into the college scene.
Living around the Sunset Square area can be nice. It really depends on what you're looking for, though, and what you want to spend. I would avoid the Alabama Hill area- it looks nice, but tends to get more crime.
I like Bellingham a lot. There are beautiful areas to hang out, it does NOT feel like a "college town" to me, despite being one. I love Fairhaven- if you can afford to live there (I can't). I'm in my 30s with kids, and we choose to live outside of town so we can get more bang for our buck.
Is it hard to meet people? Yes... especially when the crappy weather hits, and people shut themselves in. But otherwise it's a nice place to live.
I was pleased when I looked up apartment costs. That might not be exactly the same today as when I looked, but I was toying with the idea of having a second home there and wondered just how big a dent in my wallet would result. Given all that I find to like, the news on the home front was good.
OP, I think it's really sad that you moved to an area filled with people who are so unlike you. It seems to me that this is the problem. You don't move to a town and expect them to conform and bend to your whims. You move to a town where there are people who are more like you...if you're interested in socializing with others. With the profound disdain you've shown on CD, for the people and their lifestyles, here in the PNW, I find it odd that you'd move here. It is you who is inflexible. I'm not from Bellingham, but I am from another small town, where I've heard the same things said by outsiders. If you're not a Christian, if you're not a drunk or druggie....etc. I'm quite sure that in Bellingham, just like our town, there are plenty of people who are NOT Christians and are NOT substance abusers. Clearly, you are repelling those types of people with your attitude.
You keep ranting about the bartender, because he/she was "stiff" with you. You were complaining about things in the establishment, with your "outsider" attitude. What do you expect? I'm quite sure that if you took a good look in the mirror and took steps to adjust YOUR way of thinking a bit...to one of "acceptance", you wouldn't be quite so miserable there. You seem to be the one who has the attitude of, "I like what I like and I don't like anything else." Either adjust your attitude or move....it's that simple.
In addition, I'd like to say that...one of the most irritating things about a few of the newbies who move to our area, do so because, "The people seem so friendly", "The cost of living is so affordable", "It's so laid back". It's ironic, how so many of those people don't make it here. Before you know it, "People are so unfriendly", or "There's NOTHING to do", or "People just don't seem to want to DO anything to better the place." They come to the area because they've visited it a few times and like what they see on the surface. Once they've been here awhile, they become disgruntled, because "the grass seemed greener", than where they were before. They want it to be better (for them), want more things to do (for them), want the people here to conform and change (for them). If someone is and has been living in an area for a very long time, either they LIKE things the way they are, because they have adapted to the lifestyle, or they lack the initiative and/or funds to go elsewhere.
You have the right to be the way you are. The people of Bellingham have the right to be the way they are. Learning to accept and embrace the fact that people are simply the way they are....and people have the right to be the way they are, is the key to being happy. If you can not find your happiness where you are, chances are, you're not going to find happiness anywhere else. You claim to have lived many other places. Why did you move? Still looking for happiness?
Last edited by beachmel; 09-20-2012 at 08:00 AM..
Reason: Addition:
I've been living here for a couple months and have found it a tough place to meet people. I am in early-mid 30s and it seems people here are either younger (college-aged) or older and married. One thing I am noticing is people here are quite reserved and more often than not will turn their face rather than say hello to you when walking down the street. I have not experienced this in any of other places I have lived. It seems the most friendly people I meet here are transplants from other places.
Oh well, this town is really beautiful and if I didn't feel empty I would stay. Who knows, maybe I can just get use to the solitary living. I'm thinking Seattle though would have a better environment to meet more down-to-earth people. It seems the local element here doesn't have a lot of love for outsiders. The town is quite cliquey. The locals and college kids seem to hang among their own.
Your whole post is good. The problem you describe is endemic in the Northwest and is horrible in the college towns - Bellingham, Olympia, Eugene, and Corvallis. About Bellingham, I didn't have to live there to feel it quickly. I've pit stopped for coffee/tea or a meal there when driving between Seattle and Vancouver BC many times. It is geared to college kids, granolas who want to hang on funky living forever, local blue-collar types, and families who look like they transplanted from Minnesota or Wisconsin and attend the local Lutheran churches.
The only exceptions might be Olympia because there are also government workers and Corvallis where the granolas aren't as prevalent because OSU is the technology school so, instead, Eugene is crawling with the hippy-dippys because U of O is the liberal arts oriented campus.
College towns really only work for certain types of people. I'm one of those people who thinks people should go to school in an urban setting. It's more "real." Yes, I think there's a "Bellingham Freeze" but, if you're going to be frozen anyway, Seattle is better.
OP, I think it's really sad that you moved to an area filled with people who are so unlike you. It seems to me that this is the problem. You don't move to a town and expect them to conform and bend to your whims. You move to a town where there are people who are more like you...if you're interested in socializing with others. With the profound disdain you've shown on CD, for the people and their lifestyles, here in the PNW, I find it odd that you'd move here. It is you who is inflexible. I'm not from Bellingham, but I am from another small town, where I've heard the same things said by outsiders. If you're not a Christian, if you're not a drunk or druggie....etc. I'm quite sure that in Bellingham, just like our town, there are plenty of people who are NOT Christians and are NOT substance abusers. Clearly, you are repelling those types of people with your attitude.
That is a tough thing to do. Especially beforehand. Sometimes, you don't know until you get there. Even repeated visits don't do it.
Then, you might have to balance things, such as cost or weather. My family moved a few times. I experienced LA and northern NJ (NYC) with them. Which is more like me? Northern NJ/NYC. Where does my immediate family live/what looks newer/where is the weather better? Los Angeles What do you do? Not easy. Right after college, I thought of moving to northern NJ across from NYC, with some relatives in the area. I never went through with it. Same thing if everyone had remained in the greater NY area. I'd probably be eying CA or FL, but I probably wouldn't go through with it.
The PNW is compelling for some people. Out West, the compelling must-live-in cities for people are Seattle, SF and SD. However, the PNW retention rate is definitely nowhere near 100%. For people moving to CA when everyone could afford to, the retention rate seemed to be near 100%. That's what it seemed like.
OP, I think it's really sad that you moved to an area filled with people who are so unlike you. It seems to me that this is the problem. You don't move to a town and expect them to conform and bend to your whims. You move to a town where there are people who are more like you...if you're interested in socializing with others. With the profound disdain you've shown on CD, for the people and their lifestyles, here in the PNW, I find it odd that you'd move here.
Beachmel, I have lived in the Pacific Northwest most of my life. What are you talking about Move Here?? What do you mean, why did I move to this part of the country? I was raised here! And, Bellinghole is just one town in the Pacific NOrthwest. Oh, you mentioned you are not from Bellinghole? You mention you haven't spent a long time there? Then, what the heck do you know.. Your post is void. I have now lived in Bellinghole, along with the rest of the Pacific Northwest for over 20 years.. Also, not every place in the Pac NW is as depressing as Bellinghole and I have lived in many places in the Pac NW. Sorry, that I point out some of the fallacies of the PNW. You live in a place long enough, you can identify some of them. Bellinghole, as I said, was unique in its arrogance. One problem with some people here is they never get out and try to investigate things deeply, aka simple-minded. It sounds like you are spending your time criticizing and attacking me for the fact that I scrutinize and that I am critical of some sociological issues I have encountered in Bellinghole. I do not conform to your standards, therefore, I have a problem. I think, therefore I am dangerous! You obviously don't spend much time examining such issues deeply, hence why you didn't bother reading that I am from the Pacific Northwest and attack me as an "outsider" and question why I moved to the Pacific Northwest. Your response is obviously shallow and uninformed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel
You keep ranting about the bartender, because he/she was "stiff" with you. You were complaining about things in the establishment, with your "outsider" attitude. What do you expect? I'm quite sure that if you took a good look in the mirror and took steps to adjust YOUR way of thinking a bit...to one of "acceptance", you wouldn't be quite so miserable there. You seem to be the one who has the attitude of, "I like what I like and I don't like anything else." Either adjust your attitude or move....it's that simple.
I keep ranting about the bartender? I'm thinking its the prick who got his feelings hurt that I needed wifi.. They made me go into bar, buy a drink then gave me wifi code that didn't work.. I told them upfront I needed wifi and they said it worked. Sorry, but that is crap customer service IMO. Yeah, the guy was a rude jerk, slamming my money down and cold shouldering me. I am a customer and I was polite. I needed to use wifi badly and they wasted a lot of my time by misinforming me about it. I was polite about it and said I need to go get my bill and leave so I can find it elsewhere. Unfortunately, the bartender himself, was acting like an immature brat.. Yeah, I guess I am really evil for not kissing his shoes. How honorable it was that they let me sit at their bar.. BTW.. I don't care about the bar or bartender.. It was merely an example.. Once again, outsider?? Since when does being an a-hole to a customer have anything to do with being inside/outside?
Great post Robert. I think we see eye to eye on most things. The only thing I have to say is that Eugene is more of a mixed bag than you think. For example, as hippy as Eugene is, it's sister city Springfield, is just as redneck. Eugene is a funny mix of good ol boy rednecks and granola hairy hippy types. I found U of O and Eugene a much friendlier environment overall than Bellinghole.. That isn't to say Eugene didn't have its share of problems. Being burglarized like 3 times and having lots of stuff stolen from me was one. Eugene's drug epidemic is indeed far worse than anything I have seen anywhere in Washington. Maybe Spokane is worse, but I haven't really been there much, so I don't know.
Eugene, wasn't my favorite place either, but not because it was a college town. Supringsly, Bellinghole felt more like a college town to me than Eugene, which is only college-like in the Eastside of town near the college. Bellinghole, it just seemed like I could not escape the grungy college element. U of O students did not seem nearly as anal and cold as what I experienced at WWU.. Then agian, I was in Eugene over 13 years ago, so maybe things changed. Maybe, it's the uber-Scandinavian vibe present in Bellinghole mixed with the isolation. I don't know.
BTW, I am in the Seattle/Tacoma area now and I do like the area a lot more. It's really NICE being out of a college town. If I need a college fix, I drive to the U-District for a couple hours than I leave! And, funny enough, I have found U of W crowd more interesting and diverse than the WWU crowd. It seems like UW students have more on the ball. I don't know what it is, as I haven't spent much time in the U-District, but it was better than I expected. As Robert said, college in an urban environment is better, as you are connected with the real world while you are learning at school. I've learned to avoid dreary Northwest college towns. Actually, I like Seattle for the most part. It's a beautiful city and the area has a lot of beauty, even more than Bellingham. At least Seattle is a city where people actually work for a living and live normal lives. Bellinghole is like the twilight zone, nothing feels real. It's a town full of drugged/drunk college kids with no manners combined with people working low-end jobs who have no real aspirations in life. I wish I could write words to describe my feelings about it.
Well, Bellinghole is just a memory now.. Good riddance. I like where I live a lot better now. Yeah, I know the Pacific Northwest seems a bit depressing, lonesome and reserved at times.. However, I always accepted that part of it, but Bellinghole was just straight unfriendly and depressed. Portland and Seattle are much nicer places to live. Despite being big cities the people are easy-going and friendly for the most part.
This post is over a month old now..
Bye, bye, Bellinghole. I will not miss you.. My Mount Rainier view blows away my Mt Baker view BTW.. You cannot hardly even see Baker from most of Bellinghole.. How lame
Last edited by EastMeetsWest7; 09-23-2012 at 03:03 AM..
Maybe, but I'm also extremely introverted. In fact I haven't even attempted to meet anyone, so for all I know someone who's good at making friends may do far better. Or they may not, I have no idea.
When you say "meeting someone", is this about a dating relationship? I don't even live there and meet all kinds of people. I'm sure if I lived there, I'd be on an easy chat basis with dozens of people. I ride buses a lot and chat with strangers all the time. I was very introverted, but I stopped worrying so much about if I'd look or sound like a fool. I decided that most strangers are not that judgmental. You just don't want to load your troubles or controversial opinions on them ( I have LOTS of controversial opinions). It's all about "common ground". You have SOMETHING in common with almost every single person you meet. Conversation helps bring it out. Where something comes up that is divisive, you needn't pursue it. But once you find their enthusiasm, you can feed on that for hour after hour.
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