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He OFFERED to pay for my share, and knew from the support group what shape my finances were in. In fact he INSISTED I go to this group thing where the ONLY person I knew was him. I felt uncomfortable all around.
No one knew til much later what my life was like. I didn't go to " tell a tale of woe" to anyone.
It really isn't your business.
If I dine out with ANYONE, I insist on separate checks.
Apparently you are well off, and so we probably won't be traveling in the same circle ( unless I meet you in a support group).
You may not know I ended up homeless due to severe chronic medical issues and multiple surgeries, making it impossible to get, keep, or work a job.
And go through all my savings and Retirement too early.
As much as YOU don't "want to hear my tale of woe" I DON'T want to dine with you...rubbing it in my face that you "are ALL THAT" AND lording it over me that YOU are well off.
And, apparently YOU would be one who expects someone less fortunate than you to supplement your higher standard...you probably are one who does order drinks, appetizers, desserts and high price entrees, and expect someone ELSE to "pay (part of) your way". No wonder you have more money than I.
No, I don't need your snobbery. Sorry to hear you have NO compassion for those less fortunate than yourself.
I hope it never happens to you. Then again....maybe I DO.
Good day to you.
Why is someone who is so defensive and unwilling to accept the opinion of others so interested in starting such a thread?
Why not dessert and appetizers, too? Combined, thos two often cost more than the entree.
Honor system, ask each diner to round their total to the nearest dollar mentally and add 20%, gather it all up and leave the sum on the tray with the check.
Fair enough. If it's anything that causes a significant disparity, the person(s) responsible should take care if it.
I'm from "up North", where splitting the check was pretty much the norm. If someone asked for a separate check, they were viewed as cheap. I personally didn't like splitting the check because I would have one or two martinis, while others in the group didn't drink. I didn't feel right paying the same amount as them.
However, I'm now in Florida and separate checks here (Gulf coast anyway) are the norm. Servers usually ask ahead of time. MUCH easier, especially since I'm a single sometimes going to dinner with couples and other singles. It's funny though, when people come down from "up North", they're not used to separate checks and I think THEY think I'm being cheap when I suggest it.
Now, I don't know how it is in other areas of Florida. I was with a big group at a couple different restaurants in Hollywood, FL, and they refused to do separate checks.
I always prefer separate checks or split to nearest dollar where each pays their own part. I prefer to pay for what I get - whether it is more or less than the average, I don't want to subsidize anyone and don't want anyone to subsidize me.
We often go out for dinner with 3 couples. When the bill comes to the table, I hand the server 3 credit cards (one card from each couple) and tell the server to put 1/3 on each card.
Each couple pays 1/3 of the bill and each couple can tip accordingly. Sure beats separate bills or figuring out who ate what with a flashlight.
Otherwise, just put it the amount YOU spent and give the waiter your own tip directly.
That's what we generally do here. A twist on that, is when my husband and I go out to eat with some of our friends, usually other couples. Most places we've been around here ask if the checks are separate, and customarily will write separate checks for each couple when asked. And they do it with a smile, considering it not a big deal to do that. After service with a snarl all too often at restaurants when we lived in Miami, where many wait staff acted like they were put upon when asked to write separate checks for each diner, I find the can do attitude of the wait staff here refreshing.
I'm from "up North", where splitting the check was pretty much the norm. If someone asked for a separate check, they were viewed as cheap. I personally didn't like splitting the check because I would have one or two martinis, while others in the group didn't drink. I didn't feel right paying the same amount as them.
However, I'm now in Florida and separate checks here (Gulf coast anyway) are the norm. Servers usually ask ahead of time. MUCH easier, especially since I'm a single sometimes going to dinner with couples and other singles. It's funny though, when people come down from "up North", they're not used to separate checks and I think THEY think I'm being cheap when I suggest it.
Now, I don't know how it is in other areas of Florida. I was with a big group at a couple different restaurants in Hollywood, FL, and they refused to do separate checks.
The people we socialize with on our part of the FL Gulf Coast most often ask for separate checks for each couple! We lived in Miami for many years and I was used to the snarly refusal of most wait staff there for separate checks. So I was pleasantly surprised by seeing that here they don't seem to regard separate checks for each couple as any problem at all.
Why is someone who is so defensive and unwilling to accept the opinion of others so interested in starting such a thread?
I'm guessing the whole thing is a humblebrag about frugality.
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