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Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
10,352 posts, read 8,578,998 times
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Separate checks. I've been in groups where another person's bill is well over 3x mine. I don't care you think it's drama, an even split just isn't fair.
I will usually put my drinks (I am not a cheap drinker) on a bar tab which I personally settle. This is a result of someone once complaining about the costs of my drinks. The first time it happened I said not an issue, the entire check is on me. The complainer approached me later and said I did not mean for that to happen. I said no problem but you are cheap and everyone knows it so own it.
Last edited by VTsnowbird; 11-10-2019 at 06:32 AM..
Reason: remove vulgar language
Separate checks would be the only rational way to dine with you either as the only other person or in a group. When I have eaten regularly with the same group of people we have informally taken turns paying. I couldn't deal with you. I certainly would not wish to hear your tales of woe.
Then I, too, would NOT done out with you.
He OFFERED to pay for my share, and knew from the support group what shape my finances were in. In fact he INSISTED I go to this group thing where the ONLY person I knew was him. I felt uncomfortable all around.
No one knew til much later what my life was like. I didn't go to " tell a tale of woe" to anyone.
It really isn't your business.
If I dine out with ANYONE, I insist on separate checks.
Apparently you are well off, and so we probably won't be traveling in the same circle ( unless I meet you in a support group).
You may not know I ended up homeless due to severe chronic medical issues and multiple surgeries, making it impossible to get, keep, or work a job.
And go through all my savings and Retirement too early.
As much as YOU don't "want to hear my tale of woe" I DON'T want to dine with you...rubbing it in my face that you "are ALL THAT" AND lording it over me that YOU are well off.
And, apparently YOU would be one who expects someone less fortunate than you to supplement your higher standard...you probably are one who does order drinks, appetizers, desserts and high price entrees, and expect someone ELSE to "pay (part of) your way". No wonder you have more money than I.
No, I don't need your snobbery. Sorry to hear you have NO compassion for those less fortunate than yourself.
I hope it never happens to you. Then again....maybe I DO.
Split even. People who nickel and dime ruin the entire experience (and I am one of the frugal ones, so I would benefit from an actual cost analysis - but I am willing to pay more just to avoid displays of avarice and drama.
I'm puzzled by the use of "avarice" ... wouldn't it be the people who are ordering 2 or 3 times as much as others, but expecting those others to SUBSIDIZE their extra-large meal by saying "Oh let's just split the check!", be the ones being greedy?
I'm with most others here -- separate checks are not that hard to get at most places. And I like this partly because sometimes I am the one ordering extra items, and I want to feel like I can do that without others feeling like they have to pay for part of my meal too.
Asking for separate checks wouldn't ruin the experience. The experience is the meal together, not the 5 minutes it might take at the end to pay for yourselves.
Separate checks. I've been in groups where another person's bill is well over 3x mine. I don't care you think it's drama, an even split just isn't fair.
"Fair" has less to do with it than "RIGHT".
IF the group is all of the same economic GROUP ( say coworkers from the same salary level) and everyone eats more or less in the same manner, then splitting the tab or rotating who pays would work.
But in life, THAT rarely happens.
It simply is NOT RIGHT for someone to supplement someone else's extravagances. Regardless of ability to pay.
I’ve only dined out with my husbands best friend and college roommate, both time we were splitting evenly, IIRC with his roommate. We don’t drink a lot of wine, just a tiny sip, but we were ok with his buddy to order the whole bottle. I know this couple can afford it, he was an executive with a large company in UK. With my husbands best friend, I think I tried to pay most meals, this couple doesn’t have a lot of money. So we let them pay the tea and coffee and we pay the meals.
We don’t eat with a lot of couples either.
I'm puzzled by the use of "avarice" ... wouldn't it be the people who are ordering 2 or 3 times as much as others, but expecting those others to SUBSIDIZE their extra-large meal by saying "Oh let's just split the check!", be the ones being greedy?
I'm with most others here -- separate checks are not that hard to get at most places. And I like this partly because sometimes I am the one ordering extra items, and I want to feel like I can do that without others feeling like they have to pay for part of my meal too.
Asking for separate checks wouldn't ruin the experience. The experience is the meal together, not the 5 minutes it might take at the end to pay for yourselves.
I also would be the one that orders the most when i go out with a group of other women.
They are the type to only order water with lemon to drink.
Me - bring on the margaritas and appetizers. And yes I share the appetizers and make sure to pay for all that.
I just know they are tight with their money and really no reason to be - just habit i guess. Maybe cuz they have kids and they feel they are drinking and eating their kids inheritance away??
We have a group go out monthly for dinner and we always get separate checks. We don't go there if we can't. We go out for the friendship not showing off how much money we have. We have people from both ends of the financial spectrum and unless someone offers to buy something and share we understand that we pay for what we eat, not what others eat. I rarely, if ever, get an alcoholic beverage. Yes they are expensive but I'm also not much of a drinker. I am on a special diet and can't drink carbonated beverages, anything greasy or high fat, or desserts. Yet there are some who not only order a full bottle of wine, they order appetizers, steak and desserts. Sorry, but I'm not subsidizing that.
Glad there are those of you that have the financial means. I always kind of wince when we take out our DD and SIL because they usually have several drinks and higher priced entrees like crab cakes and steaks. But they also realize that we don't have the financial cushion that they have, so they do treat us more often. Yet we still don't usually get drinks or dessert. We just don't eat them.
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