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You guys have only been dating 6 weeks, why are you getting so worked up about this? Honestly, if he was my friend, and he was dating you, I would tell him to get out as soon as possible. You sound VERY clingy and someone who obsesses over minutiae. Quit over-analyzing every little thing and go with the flow.
Him not reaching climax is an issue, but the more pressing issue from your post seems to be your insecurity.
It is my opinion from what I have read, that you should try spending some time alone. Work on yourself. Deal with your insecurities and learn how to be independent. Your relationships will be better for it.
I have to agree with this.
Someone else posted something similar recently and I said the same thing, in a nutshell.
I get that you can't help how you feel, but there are people who fall in love with just about everyone or fall in love in 2.3 seconds. Call it obsession, co-dependence, infatuation, whatever - it isn't love. It's toxic and unfairly heavy on the people they become involved with. If this is you, you may want to step back, take a breather and examine your feelings.
My rule of thumb is that when the relationship causes more pain than pleasure, it's time to move on. I'm actually in the same boat you are right now and I've neglected his last 2 text msgs though it's killed me to do so. You do what you've got to do for your own peace of mind--if he's this squirrley in the beginning of the relationship, "he's just not that into you."
Look, it's really quite simple. Either you like this guy and want to be with him or you don't. If you want to be him, then have the "feelings" talk with him, see how he feels about you and what his intentions are for the relationship. If his feelings and intentions jive with yours, try working it out. If they don't, cut him loose now and find someone else.
It sounds like you have become his booty call. He doesn't have to take you out, just comes over and does his thing.
And you are concerned that he can't orgasm. So are you now going to make that the focal point of your relationship? Everything that happens from this point on is about him reaching the big O?
Why not find a nice man who is willing to court you and take you to dinner or something?
It sounds like you have become his booty call. He doesn't have to take you out, just comes over and does his thing.
And you are concerned that he can't orgasm. So are you now going to make that the focal point of your relationship? Everything that happens from this point on is about him reaching the big O?
Why not find a nice man who is willing to court you and take you to dinner or something?
I don't feel like a booty call. We go out sometimes, do things together when we are together at his house or mine and we talk. It's definately not just sex.
Not everything is about O but I just feel funny about this not happening.
Going out is not terribly important to me, I like just being at home.
I am just wanting a little more excitement on his part, and Im not getting it. Sure, it's only been 6 weeks. Sounds like all I can do is back off and wait. But the waiting is killing me.
yep, Im thinking that (he's just not that into me), too. Im watching for signs that he is, but not getting them. Or maybe Im looking for too much? I do this a lot in relationships. wait, watch. you are right, I really need to let it go. Will a man make it clear to you if he is into you? Or do they just have different ways of communicating, so maybe he is into me and I don't get it? Ill say I don't think you like me as much as I like you. He'll say I call you and text you all the time (which he does) This is all too confusing for me.
yep, Im thinking that (he's just not that into me), too. Im watching for signs that he is, but not getting them. Or maybe Im looking for too much? I do this a lot in relationships. wait, watch. you are right, I really need to let it go. Will a man make it clear to you if he is into you? Or do they just have different ways of communicating, so maybe he is into me and I don't get it? Ill say I don't think you like me as much as I like you. He'll say I call you and text you all the time (which he does) This is all too confusing for me.
Not all men are the same, despite what we are told. He could be different in the way he expresses himself or show it in other ways. Looking too much might be it. Regardless, you have to let him find the comfort level to be able to show it in his own time and in his own way. You can't expect others to do and think as you do.
You may very well like him more than he likes you. That doesn't mean he does care enough.
Dear, I was you up until about 5 years ago. You stated you are in your 30's (so am I) and it is time you learn to be happy with *just yourself*. Obsessing in/over relationships goes nowhere fast. If a man is not making an effort to show you he cares, express his feelings for/interest in you, spend time with you, call, make sure you are both having a good time together, he is just using you. Please, please, please read "He's Just Not That Into You" and take some significant time off from dating. Work on yourself, and put yourself first in your life. It will make a world of difference in how you see relationships.
If a man is not making an effort to show you he cares, express his feelings for/interest in you, spend time with you, call, make sure you are both having a good time together, he is just using you.
I think this applies to women as well, but I've heard a lot of women defend it, saying that it's the man's job to pursue. Maybe I should add this to the double standards thread.
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