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A lot of approaching feels like being a salesman and it isn't fun. Men care more about the connection that you are giving men credit for their level of care. Many men would prefer not to be making approaches and to have a strong relationship that is beneficial for them and their partner.
This is starting to feel like a chicken or the egg scenario....or the old "great taste, less filling" commercial. I hope people see what I mean as I type this.
I guess an analogy, we don't like paying taxes, but we have to anyway. Same with approaching women, they may not like it, but..it's the nature of the beast.
Meetup quality started to get low around 2013 or so.
I have to agree that's a pretty good time frame that's in line with mine, 2013. Now..there are an oversaturation of 20/30's social clubs or just social clubs in general or a lot of the same types of meetups in a city.
Female matchmakers trying to make a buck for "singles mixers" at 25 bucks a pop, and the fools sign up for it that reach about 100. Hell, they prefer singles mixers over non-singles focused social clubs.
I had seen some dude sign up for over 300 meetups. Some sign up for too many and double book themselves for the same night sometimes. It's also become a revolving door of people coming and going, hardly ever the same people returning. Just one-shot wonders that scan the room and leave. They MAY return in a few months though.
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So we are constantly on the lookout for psychopaths and on guard. After all there are no more psychiatric wards and a lot more people are seemingly suffering from mental illness than in the past.
Yeah, so instead of puttin gthem in these institutions, they write prescriptions for anxiety medication, weed for PTSD, ADD, and so on.
I have to agree that's a pretty good time frame that's in line with mine, 2013. Now..there are an oversaturation of 20/30's social clubs or just social clubs in general or a lot of the same types of meetups in a city.
Female matchmakers trying to make a buck for "singles mixers" at 25 bucks a pop, and the fools sign up for it that reach about 100. Hell, they prefer singles mixers over non-singles focused social clubs.
I had seen some dude sign up for over 300 meetups. Some sign up for too many and double book themselves for the same night sometimes. It's also become a revolving door of people coming and going, hardly ever the same people returning. Just one-shot wonders that scan the room and leave. They MAY return in a few months though.
Yeah, so instead of puttin gthem in these institutions, they write prescriptions for anxiety medication, weed for PTSD, ADD, and so on.
The Wife and I wanted to meet other childless couples.
90% of them were a sh** show, Sausage fest or a Zoo.
I think one reason why many men fail so hard at approaching is that we're far from our best. Due to nerves, many guys miss the woman's important body language, cues, and other signs because it's all they can do to just get their words out without stumbling or stuttering. Not a good first impression at all.
I think one reason why many men fail so hard at approaching is that we're far from our best. Due to nerves, many guys miss the woman's important body language, cues, and other signs because it's all they can do to just get their words out without stumbling or stuttering. Not a good first impression at all.
Right, and as a result, you would think women would cut men some slack when they approach...ya know? ;-)
Men and women have been getting together for centuries and still do today so obviously, somebody is receptive to somebody.
Actually, no. For thousands of years way up until the early to mid 20t-century, most of the population of the western hemisphere got married out of necessity. Men wanted to get laid on the regular, and they wanted to have children, women, sadly, because of the lack of opportunities they had, and because women were considered to be property of their fathers, couldn't pick the men they wanted to marry. They married to grant their own fathers a good alliance with the groom's family.
Then, eventually, women were finally free to marry the men they were attracted to. That's why my mother married a man - my father - who is still very attractive to her despite all of those decades past, instead of marrying an unattractive man with money like so many women had to go through with to survive
Things are still bad for women on a global scale, and billions of women get together with men because they lack options, and I hope one day that is finally fixed.
Now if you are talking about men who can't get laid or can't get girlfriends in The United States or Europe
It's not that women aren't receptive. They are, just ask any 18 year old kid who plays soccer 8 hours a day. It's that women aren't receptive to physically unattractive men who have nothing to offer other than a paycheck. My advice to these young guys who complain they can't get laid or get gf.
huh dude stop slacking around, shave, shower 3 times a day, get 'em teeth sparkling like pearls, hit the gym and get that body fat to 9% and you'll do just fine with women
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Right, and as a result, you would think women would cut men some slack when they approach...ya know? ;-)
Maybe men could cut women some slack by approaching offering something a woman would be interested in buying, no?
Actually, no. For thousands of years way up until the early to mid 20t-century, most of the population of the western hemisphere got married out of necessity. Men wanted to get laid on the regular, and they wanted to have children, women, sadly, because of the lack of opportunities they had, and because women were considered to be property of their fathers, couldn't pick the men they wanted to marry. They married to grant their own fathers a good alliance with the groom's family.
Right, but this was also during an age where an average lifespan of the human race was 40-something I believe. So it was time to make haste. This era is now a relic.
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Then, eventually, women were finally free to marry the men they were attracted to. That's why my mother married a man - my father - who is still very attractive to her despite all of those decades past, instead of marrying an unattractive man with money like so many women had to go through with to survive
Personally, I think I should've been born in the 40s and 50s where back then, that was kind of a happy medium between the era you spoke of and now. Back then, there was no game playing, people were clear in what they wanted, and didn't partake in any kind of hook-up culture that we do today.
Today, it's an era of nebulous relationships or "situationships" where people are coming up with their own definition of what a relationship entails. FWB, you name it.
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Things are still bad for women on a global scale, and billions of women get together with men because they lack options, and I hope one day that is finally fixed.
You are wrong, .they have plenty of options. With the population exploding like it is, people are still getting together. It's just that a lot of women's expectations are unrealistic. I.e. - "I won't date a guy under 6 feet (even though she's only 5'3") ...receding hairline? out of the running. Big nose...get that schnoze outta here!
There's a book out that's pretty popular called: "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough."
Here's a brief CNN interview with the author, about 5 mins...a good listen as she advises women to listen up and take heed of said options. Because their long list of dealbreakers is ridiculous. Dan Savage had a good video up called, "The price for paying admission", basically, if you have more than 5 deal breakers (which a lot of people do), then you should just date a robot that you can program.
Now if you are talking about men who can't get laid or can't get girlfriends in The United States or Europe
It's not that women aren't receptive. They are, just ask any 18 year old kid who plays soccer 8 hours a day. It's that women aren't receptive to physically unattractive men who have nothing to offer other than a paycheck. My advice to these young guys who complain they can't get laid or get gf.
huh dude stop slacking around, shave, shower 3 times a day, get 'em teeth sparkling like pearls, hit the gym and get that body fat to 9% and you'll do just fine with women
Maybe men could cut women some slack by approaching offering something a woman would be interested in buying, no?
This is where we get into a lot of grey area, but some of what you said is quite presumptous. Also, who showers 3 times a day? An germ-a-phobe? Once a day suffices. If you work a dirty job, then I can see more than once.
You are making a false assumption that men who aren't getting girlfriends are not in shape or brush their teeth or practice good hygiene
Speaking of the 9% fat, I've been turned down by chubby women of all people. (Yes, I have found some chubby women attractive) So here we have women that expect men who have 9% fat, but cannot offer the same in return in that department.
I think what happens is that some women put on weight within a couple of years by eating out all the time, but don't realize it, but in their head they still look like they got the same body in the past. I had a female friend that told me she had a single friend I could friend on Facebook to talk to her. It was kind of a set-up.
When I did this, she didn't respond. She was overweight, but I can look past that because she had facial expressions that I found attractive. Smiled a lot too, nice smile. Was into nerdy/geeky stuff like me.
When I got to talking to my female friend that tried to introduce me to that woman, she told me that she simply didn't find me attractive. And believe me, I've gone out with better looking women than her.
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Maybe men could cut women some slack by approaching offering something a woman would be interested in buying, no?
Hey, the same could be said about the women who turn said men down. Some don't really realize their equals when it comes to looks and flaws.
huh dude stop slacking around, shave, shower 3 times a day, get 'em teeth sparkling like pearls, hit the gym and get that body fat to 9% and you'll do just fine with women
Seriously? How about "get yourself a personality"? How about "show some integrity"? How about "develop some interests besides gaming"?
Suddenly, I'm having Deja Vu, making this post. Marshyy, have you visited C-D before? This discussion seems awfully familiar. I guess that's because we go through this with various posters several times a year, lol. Same old, same old.
Classes in general are great places to meet people, but it's not like you're gonna walk in and a woman will throw herself at you.
You still have to relate to them and build a rapport, just as you would in any other situation.
That is the hurdle some folks here will never get over.
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