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You know, I tried to get SSi for her a few years back, when we were having to take her to so many specialists, testing, etc... they said she did not qualify.
He and his lawyer were also trying to tell me that I had her on this, and this is why I did not need as much child support.
I asked him if she was on it when we were together, and he said no...
I told him nothing had changed.
I don't know if they will allow her on it or not, Rockky. I know it has to do with her dx...
Robyn, ask her teacher and the school staff. They should know of, or at least remember, this program. It was a slam dunk. Any child with an IEP qualified. You know how bureaucracy works. You have to find just the right path and just the right forms.
There is tumbleweed blowing around in here... do you see it? I do!
LOL.
Well, Mollie seems to be doing just a little better today. Thats good.
I just have to say Happy Hump Day to you all who are reading...
Coffees pretty good, finally got it figured out how much sugar I take.... so used to grabbing the packets and throwing it in.
The kids are doing really well right now, not much to report on that other than ib started a new job on Monday and the kids congratulated him on that..
He has been complaining to them that so far it is hectic. I think its hectic too, since he dropped them from his insurance.
He SAYS he is putting them on another policy. One which he has no idea of the member number or anything. Says nothing pre existing is allowed. Wants me to try and get Ls meds by way of samples from the dr.
Well, her med went generic at the beginning of the year, and that is not a possiblity at all.
Well, have the dr change the meds, he says.
I had to cancel all the kids appts. I am trying to verify these benefits he says he has. (to no avail)
It is stipulated in the custody pw that he has to carry them under insurance.
This has been going on for a few weeks, and for the time being, I have stopped stressing over it. L was able to get one more refill, so thats a good thing. Her medicine will cost 140 a month at out of pocket cost.
Oh well.. something will give, it always does. It always works its way out.
I'm going to be a bit sarcastic here, so please forgive me - Isn't IB the one who pretty much says, "the agreement says _____"? If the agreement states he has to carry the kids on his insurance, I would tell him to give you the name of the insurance company, call the company and get the cards for the kids as well as a copy of what's covered/not covered, docs, etc. If need be, take him back to court.
With his new job, is he going to be making more or less $$$? I don't know how your support agreement is structured, but when I had mine, it was written in there that for every x amt of dollar increase in my son's father's income, the support would increase proportionately, and if for some reason, he had less income, then the support would be adjusted downward.
Just something to think about - but I would definitely get on him about the insurance and coverage.....
If the agreement states he has to carry the kids on his insurance, I would tell him to give you the name of the insurance company, call the company and get the cards for the kids as well as a copy of what's covered/not covered, docs, etc. If need be, take him back to court.
Just something to think about - but I would definitely get on him about the insurance and coverage.....
I agree completely.
I wouldn't believe him about what is and isn't covered.
If something is routinely covered and his insurance won't pay, maybe he'll be on the hook for all of the expenses if you play your cards right.
I would try to get all of the insurance information by contacting his lawyer if necessary, and then at least you have it in writing that you are making repeated attempts to learn about the policy coverage.
Sometimes the old insurance provides coverage until the new one kicks in, unless he has chosen not to maintain it in the interim and has left the kids uncovered for a period of time.
He shouldn't be reducing his level of coverage which could cost you more money.
I wonder if he even had a choice of medical plans and chose the lesser one?
This sounds like it could become a battle down the road.
Maybe you need to start planning on going back to court to help resolve these medical coverage issues and uncovering the truth before the costs start adding up.
He actually told me to put the kids on my plan, called me and told me I need to pick them up on my plan.
I told him I couldn't afford that, and that he was supposed to carry them.
I have printed out copies from blue cross that show the kids coverage ending on 033108.
He tells me he got another bcbs policy for the kids, but nothing is showing in the system when I go to try and verify benefits online, I called him today and told him I need the policy number and member services, and I need to know who he talked to about these policies, and also the group number.
He says he would call me tonight with that info.
I think to myself, if you are driving tonight, how are you calling me tonight?
He is responsible to carry both kids on his plan, and once I have paid 250.00 out of pocket, I have almost done that, now.. then he is to pay at 56% and I am to pay at 44% of what is not covered by insurance.
He argued even about that. Says they live with me, and he is covering them under his insurance, he should not have to pay any.
He did not choose to keep this policy by route of cobra. 3 months until he gets ins with the new company. Says this policy covers basically only well/sick visits, nothing that is pre existing.
He actually told me to put the kids on my plan, called me and told me I need to pick them up on my plan.
I told him I couldn't afford that, and that he was supposed to carry them.
I have printed out copies from blue cross that show the kids coverage ending on 033108.
He tells me he got another bcbs policy for the kids, but nothing is showing in the system when I go to try and verify benefits online, I called him today and told him I need the policy number and member services, and I need to know who he talked to about these policies, and also the group number.
He says he would call me tonight with that info.
I think to myself, if you are driving tonight, how are you calling me tonight?
He is responsible to carry both kids on his plan, and once I have paid 250.00 out of pocket, I have almost done that, now.. then he is to pay at 56% and I am to pay at 44% of what is not covered by insurance.
He argued even about that. Says they live with me, and he is covering them under his insurance, he should not have to pay any.
He did not choose to keep this policy by route of cobra. 3 months until he gets ins with the new company. Says this policy covers basically only well/sick visits, nothing that is pre existing.
Robyn - I hate to say this, but it may be time to seriously consider going back to court to have your agreement enforced. It sounds like he's positioning himself for something, not only with the insurance, but possibly getting the child support reduced. The medical coverage sounds like crap to me, and with kids, you need better. You really need to speak with someone "in the know" about all this now - before any kind of precedent is set that might come back and bite you in the butt later on.
Robyn - I hate to say this, but it may be time to seriously consider going back to court to have your agreement enforced. It sounds like he's positioning himself for something, not only with the insurance, but possibly getting the child support reduced. The medical coverage sounds like crap to me, and with kids, you need better. You really need to speak with someone "in the know" about all this now - before any kind of precedent is set that might come back and bite you in the butt later on.
You know,I agree. I told him he needs to take it up with the courts when he was telling me I needed to get them on my insurance.
He has been saying how he NOW had all of his t's crossed and I's dotted for September. This is a year from when I left, and I suppose he is talking of divorce court.
Tuesday was 7 months since I left. I cannot imagine how he could possibly get it reduced. He has gone to a new job, and I don't see how you would accept a lower paying position by choice.
I am looking myself, my work is making me insane. He tells me he is trying to get his own place, etc.
He called me last night, said I tried to call you on the home phone but I got voice mail. I was expecting his call, for ins info, and he did give me a member number.
I will verify benefits today. How is he gonna say 'the' home phone... like it is part his or something... that hit me the wrong way.
it is MY home phone. Not his, not anyone elses.. MINE.
Not to be greedy or something. But I do not share anything with him but my children. I hate sounding like this, but its just how it is.
Positive side. Mollie is doing much better today, ran slowly down the stairs.
Robyn, since he is in contempt of a court order, you may be able to file something in the courts concerning the insurance without alot of hassle.
If he opted to drop the existing insurance and you are now subject to pre-existing issues and a lower level of coverage, YOU NEED TO GET TO COURT.
What, after all, is more important than your children's well being and health? L needs her meds and her therapy. Do NOT sit still for this. The judge will look upon his antics as unfavorable and he will likely be ordered to up the coverage immediately or to pay all fees beyond what you were paying before.
You have 90 days after you leave a job to sign up for Cobra- and it can be retroactive to the day your work coverage stopped. If you can get some legal papers filed now and get an emergency hearing he can be ordered to take cobra until his new insurance kicks in.
And while you're at it- you can have a looksie at his new salary and get your child support increased if his salary is higher.
I normally would not recommend doing that constantly but since he's screwing with your kid's health insurance and you're going to court anyway, throw it in there.
And when he complains about it (which we know he will) let him know that if he didn't force you to go back to court for the health insurance you would have never looked into salary/child support.
Show him you're not going to tolerate it or he will continue his crap. You do not need a lawyer if he is in contempt of the order.
And you can get with the department of revenue to handle your child support case.
it is MY home phone. Not his, not anyone elses.. MINE.
Not to be greedy or something. But I do not share anything with him but my children. I hate sounding like this, but its just how it is.
Robyn, that is exactly how it should be! This thinking is not greedy in any way. The children are not objects to be used for manipulation or punishment to the other parent. You are very healthy and gracious to have that understanding.
DAIB doesn't get it. I still can't rep D2D, but I agree that DAIB needs to be following the court order to the letter of the law! You are totally within your rights, and in the best interest of the children, to request help to make that happen. See what you find out when you do the verification today. Then waste no time getting things back on track as need be.
Would someone take a lesser paying job to get out of paying support? Yep. It happens all the time.
Edited to add: Yeah! What pg said!!!! I can't rep her either.
Robyn - Everyone is making excellent points here...and I was able to rep them again!!!!!
Seriously, the comment IB made He has been saying how he NOW had all of his t's crossed and I's dotted for September. This is a year from when I left, and I suppose he is talking of divorce court. kind of bothers me. It sounds like he has something "brewing" in that unrealistic brain of his - either that or he's reverting to his old "scare tactics" to fill you with dread about the final divorce.
The fact that he has a new job, which could mean less income (I don't remember, with your support agreement, was the overtime brought into consideration?) If it was, I wonder if the new job has no chance for overtime, thereby cutting his pay - perhaps not his hourly/weekly base pay, but by virtue of there being no overtime.
I'm sure, while you are looking for a new job, you are taking the salary, benefits, commute time, etc. all into consideration as any reasonable and rational person would do - he's neither reasonable nor rational, so who knows how/why he made the decision to change jobs. With his "track record" I really worry that he's done it to cut back on the child support and with the crappy health insurance, it will, in his mind cost him less, you more - that's why it needs to be brought back to court - so you don't get "stuck" with more medical bills than you should.
Another thing all this proves, at least in my mind, is that he has not even tried to move forward yet. He's still "stuck" in trying to control/hurt you through the children. I have a feeling that from now until September, he's going to start throwing more curves at you in any way he can think of - again, to "scare and intimidate" you leading up to the divorce....Time to put on your "Super Robyn" cape for the duration so you'll be prepared and ready for whatever he does....first step - getting this insurance thing resolved and finding out what his new income is and making sure he sticks to the "letter" of the visitation/support order that was issued. Don't let him start bending any of the rules in that agreement - even if his requests seem reasonable at the time - it's time to throw back at him "the agreement says....." and stick to it.
Later on, once he has moved past (if he ever moves past) his trying to hurt/control through the kids, then you can be more lenient with the visitation agreement, but for now - make him stick to it, to the letter. It will hopefully show him you "mean business" so to speak.
I'm happy to hear Mollie is doing much better - maybe she "got beat up" by the other kitty the other day and is now on the mend!
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