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What women want during dating and after married is often opposite... I wonder why. Men are still the same... the quiet ones are still quiet... the talkative ones are still talking... What do you want from us?
Speaking for myself, I want a man that is able to express his thoughts and feelings. I want him to be a straight shooter and not be sweet talking me or any other woman. And that's what I have with my boyfriend. We can talk for hours about anything and everything.
I think that some people confuse silence with the other person thinking deep important thoughts, however that is not always the case. Sometimes, the lights are on, but no one is home.
Women that like sweet talker type often complain about their men fooling around and talking to other women.
What women want during dating and after married is often opposite... I wonder why. Men are still the same... the quiet ones are still quiet... the talkative ones are still talking... What do you want from us?
I don't know that I would call it "the sweet talker type" just because a man is communicative. There should be another level there, between the Strong and Silent type, as we're calling it, and the Sweet Talker. There's a difference between talking to your partner in an occasionally meaningful conversation and being a player who can't get enough. Maybe we could call him the Conversationalist? He's just a guy who can carry on a conversation and actually has something going on in his head--and doesn't mind sharing it, lol. He's not constantly playing angles to see how to maximize his opportunities for the evening, he is actually there, at dinner, with his date, making conversation and enjoying himself.
As for your question, I'm not sure I understand why you might feel that way (that woman want one thing before marriage and another after it)? Can you give me an example of what you mean?
Read my post said. Age appropriate communication skills, emotional intelligence, and responsibility. That says it all right there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smarty
Haha...
Women that like Strong Silent type often complain about their men being mute and won't communicate.
Women that like sweet talker type often complain about their men fooling around and talking to other women.
What women want during dating and after married is often opposite... I wonder why. Men are still the same... the quiet ones are still quiet... the talkative ones are still talking... What do you want from us?
As for your question, I'm not sure I understand why you might feel that way (that woman want one thing before marriage and another after it)? Can you give me an example of what you mean?
Here's an example.
Often women like outgoing guys. They want the guy that is at the center of attention in any party or gathering. She thinks he is fun. Somehow. she expects him to stop being at the center of attention after they get married. She expects him to stop flirting, talk to other women when the thing that attracted her to him was his outgoing, flirting behavior.
On the other end. Women look at the "Strong silent" type. Many women took over the "talking". After married for a few years, she asked why isn't the guy communicating with her. She expects the guy to communicate in words when all through the relationship, he hadn't.
When dating, the guy spend money like crazy.... going out to eat everyday....can't save a dollar. Then, after married, she expects the guy be frugal?
I guess... know what you want... be careful what you wish for!?
I've got the strong silent type...and a jarhead on top of it.
He's rough and gruff on the outside but has a heart of gold and melts around me and the kids...now he's putty in his granddaughter's hands and she's only two months old.
Don't be too quick to dismiss the rough and gruff. Many times there's a marshmellow inside.
most woman feel they can some how change this strong silent type, and mold him to be the perfect man. Like in the movies. It usually fails as does the relationship. .
actually i do have my act together. I don't do drugs or drink alcohol. I am so honest that it might seem mean to some and I am out and about trying to make new friends and seeing where I can do some volunteer work. So yes I am doing pretty good myself. I only experimented with one nights stands for such a brief period of my life (one semester) VS. decades which is considered "normal" for gay men. So yep I am doing rather good
I think that some people confuse silence with the other person thinking deep important thoughts, however that is not always the case. Sometimes, the lights are on, but no one is home.
Guys who can attract women without much communication, really have no need to communicate. It just might ruin a good situation. Since women are already favorably disposed to them, they interpret this silence favorably.
The rest of men who cannot attract women this way have to resort to other approaches. Unfortunately, if they use verbal communication, this usually doesn't work in their favor. Since women aren't initially favorably disposed to them, they interpret everything thyy say through the filter of this initial impression. This means, whenever they say something that can be taken two ways, the unfavorable interpretation is most likely to be made.
They then wonder why they marry a guy who not only can't communicate but really has no interest in hearing what they have to say.
I realize that this doesn't always happen - only most of the time.
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