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It would be incredibly hypocritical of him to try to contact the kid now. He says he would be open to receive him but he won't take the first step. I would like to have another nephew, they are never too many.
If he leaves her but takes care of the child financially (or offers to) then he has fullfilled his obligations in my opinion.
I would NEVER want someone to stay with me out of obligation.
Financial obligations are not the only obligations of parent. A parent is supposed to help prepare a child for adulthood and be there to provide wisdom and knowledge.
He was married at the time and already had 3 sons. He was also furious with the situation, even though both of them were obviously responsible for it. He had a paternity test and then kept sending the money everyday. I think he contacts the mother every once in a while. I think he regrets it now but after all this time, it's better to stay that way.
Are you saying that your brother was married, cheated and got the woman pregnant?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elained10
Thank you very much
I want a solid career so I can always provide for my son and I. I wouldn't want to meet someone then have them support me the thought of that makes me cringe lol
Absolutely. Do not ever rely on anyone financially (man or woman), especially with children in the picture.
It's okay, but my attitude is that planned pregnancies are a far better option.
I don't think anyone would disagree with you about this.
But once an unplanned pregnancy has happened everyone involved has to shift their focus from that to what the reality is and make it the best situation possible, which many manage to do
Financial obligations are not the only obligations of parent. A parent is supposed to help prepare a child for adulthood and be there to provide wisdom and knowledge.
I edited that, however I have mixed feelings about that. If he doesn't want the child and doesn't want to be there but does so out of obligation then it's not really ideal parenting.
I know several people like this. Dad is in the picture when he wants to be and then he drops off the face of the earth for a while. The kids suffer greatly because of this.
It would be incredibly hypocritical of him to try to contact the kid now. He says he would be open to receive him but he won't take the first step. I would like to have another nephew, they are never too many.
The kid is ONLY 17
He's got his WHOLE life in front of him. He's only lived a tiny fraction of it (hopefully).
Suppose he has no good men in his life? No one to teach him how to be a man?
Or maybe he does have a really good step-father? Does your brother at least know that?
Yes. He and my SIL decided to divorce recently after more than 30 years of marriage.
And from that you conclude that this other woman planned the pregnancy since she should have been on birth control for your cheating ass of a brother? You and your family are some stock, eh?
He's got his WHOLE life in front of him. He's only lived a tiny fraction of it (hopefully).
Suppose he has no good men in his life? No one to teach him how to be a man?
Or maybe he does have a really good step-father? Does your brother at least know that?
The kid would probably be mad at my brother if he just showed up one day (and rightfully so). He knows my brother's name, he has a mother and a father in his ID.
As far as I know, the woman hasn't been with anyone since the boy was born but who knows? The other problem is that my "legitimate" nephews don't know about his existance, so it would be another drama for my brother to sort out.
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