Is it really that hard for some men to attract certain women? (wife, marrying)
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1. If you can't approach a girl, it is because your desire for sex can't overcome your shyness or sense of unworthyness.
2. One's desire for sex is a product of nature; one's enjoyment of sex is a product of nurture.
Its just post after post after post about how to attract this group, or that group, or why this group of women isn't into that group of men. How difficult could it be. Just go up to a woman, introduce yourself, ask her what her name is, make some simple conversation, ask the girl for her number, or out to dinner, or out to the movies, or whatever. If she says no, then move on to the next. Be yourself. If your of a different race than she is, it is no different than approaching a woman of your race. The exception would be a language barrier, but even that is possible to get beyond if there is enough interest. Maybe I am just use to confident and assertive men. I just don't get all of these lame and whiny threads.
If only it were that simple. For starters, getting a woman's number means nothing nowadays. 20 years ago, heck even 10, and it could be thought of as a stepping stone to getting a date. These days the game has changed. Technology is often used as a buffers by many women in order to filter out men they don't want to interact with. Then you've got the changes in hookup culture and how a lot/most women don't respond to the old cues men relied upon to get female interest. See also: the nice guy vs jerk debate. Lastly, a ton of guys simply don't have the social acumen to interact with women in a social setting without putting the women off. I attribute this one to so many men being raised by single mothers with little to no male role models to teach them the difference regarding what women say they want and what they actually respond to.
The deathspell for men is shyness. It's impossible to get anywhere as a man if you're even the slightest bit shy
Don't listen to the BS here from the women. They would rather date a guy who is unemployed and overweight but is not shy vs a guy who is a great catch all around but is a little shy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61
Thank you for speaking for all of womankind.
And for being 100% wrong.
Never in my entire life have I ever met a woman who denigrated a shy man. Ever. Shyness in a man can oftentimes be cute, adorable and alluring. Show me one female on earth who would prefer to date an obese hog with no job over a dude that is "a little shy."
This has got to be top 10 all-time ridiculous "theories" on a Forum full of 'em.
Although what he wrote is extreme, his post does have some truth to it. Women, especially American women, are disgusted by shyness. I'm not sure how women in the non western world view shyness, but the ones in this country see it as a huge turn off. In fact the vast majority of Americans despise quiet people.
When it comes to dating, the worst thing a man can be is shy. If you're a shy male, you better learn to overcome it quickly, because I can guarantee you won't ever get a girlfriend (unless you're extremely good looking). I know a lot of drug dealers and unemployed bums in my neighborhood who have women lining up at their door ready to open their legs. These women always bail them out of jail. So why are these guys irresistible to women but nice, polite level-headed nerds who have a job can't? It's because nerds are usually too introvert. You don't need money to get women. You don't need to be employed. You don't need nice clothes. You don't even need to have good hygiene. But you do need personality.
Quoted for truth. What bothers me even more is that "men" these days (now I'm talking about straight men only) have that annoying NPR voice. You know, that sexually neutral/metrosexual tone devoid of any masculinity.
This is extremely true. Looking back to my high school days, my shyness cost me several dates and potential girlfriends. I would not be with the woman I love today if I stayed inside my shell and didn't take the initiative like I always did when I was 14-18. Boys, you need to make the first move, that's not a woman's job or place to do.
No, not in 2013. Women are equal now in this country. That's what they wanted. So now they can do 50% of the work. They can't have equality and still expect to be treated like a princess at the same time. It's not going to happen.
No, not in 2013. Women are equal now in this country. That's what they wanted. So now they can do 50% of the work. They can't have equality and still expect to be treated like a princess at the same time. It's not going to happen.
Lol, blame daddy for spoiling their daughters like that. I agree with you 100%, but unfortunately that's just a theory, except in certain parts of the country like outer suburbia where conservatism dominates.
Lol, blame daddy for spoiling their daughters like that. I agree with you 100%, but unfortunately that's just a theory, except in certain parts of the country like outer suburbia where conservatism dominates.
I agree with you. The problem is that too many of these women have been told they're "worth it" and expect to be treated like a princess. They want equality in 2013 only when it benefits them. As soon as they realize that equality also means you have to do 50% of the work, they suddenly want it to be like the old days again. You can't have it both ways, ladies. They keep talking about how independent and strong they are, but they don't seem to be strong enough to ever make the first move or buy their own drinks.
I agree with you. The problem is that too many of these women have been told they're "worth it" and expect to be treated like a princess. They want equality in 2013 only when it benefits them. As soon as they realize that equality also means you have to do 50% of the work, they suddenly want it to be like the old days again. You can't have it both ways, ladies. They keep talking about how independent and strong they are, but they don't seem to be strong enough to ever make the first move or buy their own drinks.
I agree with this statement 100% most women want to an equal in a relationship which I understand and would expect however they only want to an equal when it's beneficial for them.
"Everyone MEN or WOMEN like to be treated and to be taken out I don't feel it should always be left to the men to treat the women, if we want to be treated like equals in a relationship then it should be completely equal not just when and where we decide"
The deathspell for men is shyness. It's impossible to get anywhere as a man if you're even the slightest bit shy
Don't listen to the BS here from the women. They would rather date a guy who is unemployed and overweight but is not shy vs a guy who is a great catch all around but is a little shy
While I do think that people are better off NOT being shy, you are wrong to a large extent. Severe lack of confidence (especially self-confidence), extreme insecurity, failure to DO things in your OWN life that make you noticeable and interesting to others, and an unwillingness to openly show genuine interest in the lives of other people are arguably much bigger detriments. There are people who aren't shy who are VERY insecure.
Only the extreme shy (such as someone who can't even start a conversation - as JetJockey mentioned) are going to have serious trouble. And yes they are boring...they aren't offering anything to capture and hold the attention of the woman...i.e. they have zero personality. It's the equivalent of staring at a whiteboard with nothing written on it, or staring at a TV that's displaying nothing but snow and static.
Shyness can be overcome and defeated, if the man is willing to put in a little effort. There are MANY avenues to doing so, but just about all of them share the same principle: put yourself out there in the presence of other people, relax, socialize and do stuff. Do not confuse shyness with social anxiety or SAD.
Some make it sound as if quasi moto can get a g/f as long as he is a great conservationalist. BS, I've been a shy, quiet, introvert all my life and have had a fair amount of success. Some women don't like guys that blab all the time, some women like a guy that has an element of mystery about them.
Last edited by Sgt. Buzzcut; 01-05-2013 at 07:51 AM..
Reason: spell
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