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No, it's not all about the $$$ and they are not freaks. As i said before, in many parts of the world it is accepted. They would say it's freaky or even crazy for a woman to divorce her man that's a good provider and nice father because he does what all men do.
I have been used for sex before just as I have used women for sex...it's not bad, just little emotional attachment aside from the bedrooom.
Don't put the blinders on...your paradigm is exclusive.
Sure it's about money but don't let that get in your way, you don't see prostitutes worrying about how many others their paying johns have - and if you're having a problem with how things are in the USA, then what's keeping you here? Maybe it's money?
Yes, we should be careful with the stereotype brush. I'm still not sure why you started this thread--did you really think we were going to point out some community is the US where people are OK with this? Your best bet is to find some nice dissatisfied married woman. But I think the real reason you brought this up is to start another "bash Americans and our crazy attitudes" thread and after traveling around the world quite extensively I've heard it all, including the one about strapping guns on our hips to go buy milk, only the one I heard is that we never answer a knock on the door w/o a gun at the ready--that one came from a man in Spain.
At the beginning of the trip I was one of those apologetic Americans but I toughened up really quick b/c I realized that we are what we are and most of us are very good people despite what our govt and corporations do and some Alpha dog testosterone filled male is not going to have much success coming onto a thread and changing our attitudes b/c they're inconvenient to his sex life. The best you can hope to accomplish here is to send maybe 3 or 4 young guys packing over to Europe so they can get one o' them women. Oh, and in the context of this topic, what is a laypeople?
Who is bashing America? Are you voting for Todd Aiken? I
Americans are rather uninformed per capita when compared to other first world people.
Again, that's not the point. Please stay on topic.
I've been in a non-monogamous relationship for a while and have found it only works if certain conditions are met. Among the most important:
1) Both partners have to be free to have outside relationships. Too often, the men most adamant about their own right to non-monogamy are also the most jealous and controlling when it comes to their primary female partner (s). That is disastrous.
2) Protecting the primary relationship must be paramount. Even non-monogamous couples have to put their relationship first. That means neither partner must be made to feel the primary relationship is threatened by a third party, nor should any third party take too much time and attention away from the primary partner.
3) Openness and honesty are critical. One great thing about non-monogamy is that no one has to lie, no one has to cheat, no one has to sneak around. Non-monogamy requires a level of trust few people are capable of. Nothing will undermine that trust faster than keeping secrets.
Thanks for your reply. It's more relevant than the others who just criticize what they are unable to have...he only drives a 70k Mercedes because he needs to compensate for___ and is_______
I used to hate the kid with a new truck too in high school until I started being able to afford toys of my own.
I used to mutter wanker at the guy in the club with girls around him until that became me. Maybe I am one maybe i am not but who cares. i sure don't.
anyway, I am not really looking for a woman who can have flings on the side too. I don't tolerate this. I want to know how it's done in the US with men who have a faithful wife but are allowed to have flings.
One 30 year old cutie who I see from time time when in vegas said she would allow it but she already has a kid so I am not interested in anything LTR with her.
She said that a lot of women would look the other way if I did not put it in their face and was a "good provider."
This is more what I am asking about...not some kinda funky new age open love stuff.
I have seen one woman that actually finds sugar babies for her husband but they are a bit older and it is a disaster as she tries to exter too much control over it...when they meet, what he gets for her, etc.
Thanks for your reply. It's more relevant than the others who just criticize what they are unable to have...he only drives a 70k Mercedes because he needs to compensate for___ and is_______
I used to hate the kid with a new truck too in high school until I started being able to afford toys of my own.
I used to mutter wanker at the guy in the club with girls around him until that became me. Maybe I am one maybe i am not but who cares. i sure don't.
anyway, I am not really looking for a woman who can have flings on the side too. I don't tolerate this. I want to know how it's done in the US with men who have a faithful wife but are allowed to have flings.
One 30 year old cutie who I see from time time when in vegas said she would allow it but she already has a kid so I am not interested in anything LTR with her.
She said that a lot of women would look the other wayif I did not put it in their face and was a "good provider."
This is more what I am asking about...not some kinda funky new age open love stuff.
I have seen one woman that actually finds sugar babies for her husband but they are a bit older and it is a disaster as she tries to exter too much control over it...when they meet, what he gets for her, etc.
again, i am not looking to pay a side babe.
Well there's your answer. It's primarily the $$$$$$$$$$$
A man making an average income would not be able to get away with this without his wife objecting.
I think I understand the point of this thread. OP, you are an amazing alpha man with an incredible pimp hand. Most guys would like to have what you have, plenty of money and tons of women, but few are man enough to get it.
I think we can close this thread now.
Nah, let's keep it open. If you don't want to read it just put me on ignore. It works wonders and will make you feel better. I do it all the time, mam.
A pimp hand? I resent that. I have never struck a woman in my life.
Seriously, I take testosterone shots because of my accident in Afghanistan and it does make me..more manly...
And there is nothing wrong with busting your butt to enable a certain lifestyle....with success comes money, women, less problems, and freedom---note I did not say happiness.
if I want to fly to Vegas with two women for the weekend I can do it. if I want to have a girl that allows me a mistress I can do that too....my reality is my reality and your's is your's.
And you think I can only do this with poor low self-esteem women? Nope, Nada. I did this with two Ivy League grad students earlier in the semester. They were not broke and did not have self-esteem issues...they were freaks though.
I worked in Kabul, Kandahar, Baquiba, Fullijah, and South Sudan among other places getting shot at, IED'd, and generally imprisoning myself for months on end to get into the top 3% or whatever.
I earned it...so don't hate. ..no trust fund NY kid here.
I accept your lifestyle so you should accept mine.
Please be positive or take the negativity someplace else.
Well there's your answer. It's primarily the $$$$$$$$$$$
A man making an average income would not be able to get away with this without his wife objecting.
I think it helps but it's not the sole factor.
Maybe it's about priorities and reality. As in I found a great guy, who is smart, interesting, in good shape, and takes care of me well but likes to sleep around. Do the first five qualities or (even one) outweigh the one negative?
And really, an hour or two, a weekend every once in while for a road warrior...if she does not ask or think about it then how will it negatively impact her.
I am not looking to be furtive and won't lie....I guess it's best if these sorts of understandings are implicit and not discussed.
Maybe it's about priorities and reality. As in I found a great guy, who is smart, interesting, in good shape, and takes care of me well but likes to sleep around. Do the first five qualities or (even one) outweigh the one negative?
And really, an hour or two, a weekend every once in while for a road warrior...if she does not ask or think about it then how will it negatively impact her.
I am not looking to be furtive and won't lie....I guess it's best if these sorts of understandings are implicit and not discussed.
In most American women's eyes no. The women who do tolerate this are usually with wealthy men.
And then there are the potential pitfalls of this arrangement like STDs (condoms don't protect against everything), illegitimate children, crazy mistresses etc.
Most women don't want to risk having that in their lives. They're not going to put up with that unless they're getting some tangible benefit. Being a "great guy" isn't enough especially when what constitutes as a "great guy" is highly subjective in the first place.
Most of us compromise out of weakness. If you are strong enough to dictate terms then the pros and cons calculus changes.
The "men" I've known who get away with this seek women who are unattractive, have low self-esteem, and are desperate. And even then, they do not get away with it for very long. The woman leaves and the guy can't figure out why.
The type of woman you are seeking is herself strong enough to dictate the terms, and your terms are unattractive and unconscionable.
I suppose you might get someone to play along temporarily, until she finishes school or otherwise gets back on her feet.
now I dabbled in poly relationships as A younger man, What I found was men who wanted all of the benefits for themselves with none for their partners, usually had low self esteem and or were worried the other guy had a bigger johnson. to truly be poly there is great a deal of trust and respect needed. it sounds to me that all your looking for are SB's which is paying for sex I'm not against that just be honest about it,You seem to want a main SB that you will support.. and then some FB's or minor SB's to play with and I'm sure you can find these women out there probably
in lesser countries than the U.S where women don't have the same economic opportunities that they have here. not that they can't be found here there are a lot of SB web sites right here in the good ol' USA but your average woman in this country want commitment from there partners.
It's not that unusual in other countries. I mean polygamy was pretty common in many societies. I'm not saying I approve, but if they're consenting adults and no kids are involved who are we to bash the lifestyle?
All the great advanced civilizations have practiced monogamy. One of the reasons is that it gives every man a reason to invest in society. Sexual Socialism if you will. Under polygamy many men have no chance of finding a mate and this makes the entire culture unstable. It can lead to crazy behavior too, look at the men in Polygamous Islamic cultures who are willing to become suicide bombers to get those 17 virgins (or whatever the number is). This is more than religion, it's based on no hope of finding a wife in the real world under polygamy.
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