Has the Concept of Relationships Become Alien to Some Younger People? (dates, wife)
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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,713 posts, read 41,946,047 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoDoubt1993
I certainly think it's a bad thing.
And that is your opinion, which is your right to have. However, I don't think people should be judged for filling their sexual needs provided it is legal and done consenually with full disclosure.
This isn't at all new, only the terminology has changed. Young guys, college students, (a certain contingent of them, anyway) have always tried to get sex on the first date, always been after what was essentially a FWB situation, but the term FWB didn't exist until the new millennium. Too many young men have always been estranged from women and only viewed them as a source of sexual gratification. This is an age-old issue. I read that in the Victorian Era, men who wanted random hook-ups only had to give a woman the cold, intense stare (even if only passing in the street), and she knew what it meant. If she was game, she'd go with him to his chosen locale, no words needed be exchanged.
As MissAnnThrope once said, "It's all in the eyes".
I really don't know how older generations were but it seems that having friends of the opposite sex is more popular now than it's ever been. And if I'm not wrong about that then one could conclude that male-female relations have actually improved. Guys are hanging out with girls more without the romantic tension. Males and females no longer look at each other with a mentality of "if I don't want to mate with you than I want nothing to do with you". If there are older people out there that can speak on how male-female friendships and relationships were in their day please do so.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,713 posts, read 41,946,047 times
Reputation: 41480
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
No one is saying you should "tie yourself down" at so early an age.
But only having FWB's relationships is shallow and extreme. (not that I think that's what you are doing )
Why not just date for fun? Take the time to develop some good relationships.
It's great practice for getting to know what you really want so that when the time is right, you'll recognize it when it comes along and be better prepared to succeed at it
And what exactly is wrong with having sex just for fun?
Look most us "younger" folk want to have sex. Some want a relationship to go with it. Some of us don't give a about a relationship or don't find a relationship fits into our lives but still want to satisfy our sexual desires. That is where hooking up and FWB comes in. Those arrangements satisfy a market segment of people.
Times change, I don't know what else to say to you.
I agree with this, when I think about those that I know of that aren't in relationships... They are still having sex and fine and content with it. There are some people that value relationships and having intimate relations in relationships and others who don't care and find being single with an FWB much easier(and in some ways I can see why it would, you get sex and companionship without having to deal with the challenges of having a relationship partner and can still date around while you find your match). I wouldn't have an FWB back when I was dating because I didn't believe in sex outside of a committed serious relationship.
And what exactly is wrong with having sex just for fun?
I think it depends on the person involved. Personally, sex is simply not enjoyable if I'm with a partner I'm not emotionally attached to in some way. I've done the casual sex thing and it was ultimately unfulfilling for me. I received almost no pleasure from the ordeals and have learned they aren't for me.
Because of this, I will continue to wait until I find a person I am emotionally invested in before having sex again.
I think it depends on the person involved. Personally, sex is simply not enjoyable if I'm with a partner I'm not emotionally attached to in some way. I've done the casual sex thing and it was ultimately unfulfilling for me. I received almost no pleasure from the ordeals and have learned they aren't for me.
Because of this, I will continue to wait until I find a person I am emotionally invested in before having sex again.
Well I think it's important to realize not every woman is built to live that lifestyle in terms of casual sex and be happy with it.
And that is your opinion, which is your right to have. However, I don't think people should be judged for filling their sexual needs provided it is legal and done consenually with full disclosure.
I wasn't judging. What I was trying to say (and apparently did not do a very good job of) is that the fact that the concept of relationships being alien to younger people (i.e. FWB, random hook-ups in lieu of them) is a bad thing. While I don't believe in sex outside of marriage, I'm not judging people who do it. It's not for me (and I really don't agree with it), but that doesn't mean I'm judging those who do.
And what exactly is wrong with having sex just for fun?
Well, in the first place, sex is not a game.
Like gasoline, when not handled properly it can really burn you.
I wasn't talking so much about sex though as I was trying to make the point that you can have "fun" by dating and forming friendships/relationships without "tying yourself down", since you expressed concern about that.
Again, dating is good practice for when you are ready to have a girlfriend and can be lots of fun.
If all a person ever has is FWB's they don't get the practice they might need at navigating boyfriend/girlfriend territory. Which means they won't be very adept at it when they are really ready to settle down.
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about a relationship or don't find a relationship fits into our lives but still want to satisfy our sexual desires. That is where hooking up and FWB comes in. Those arrangements satisfy a market segment of people. 
