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I don't see it as "tying myself down." I don't look at dating as a game. I look at it as a means to an end. I know who I am, I know what I want in life, and I know the type of guy I'm looking for. If such a guy walks into my life tomorrow, I'm not going to dismiss him because I'm under the age of 24. That doesn't make sense. I don't juggle guys, and I don't casually date. I don't jump into relationships either, but if I meet a guy who I think has long-term potential, he's the guy I'm going to date...one guy at a time.
I think that's great that you feel the way you do I feel that was myself. But at the same time does really matter if people do that kind of relationship. My college is a bit more balanced yes there are people with FWB but there is just as many standard relationships going on to.
I think things are just more honest I guess because older members of my family were doing the same thing back in the day so it might be just a matter of perspective.
A while back, I read a post by a young man who wanted to get a young woman's attention and needed advice. He started out saying how pretty she was, how charming, how much he wanted to get to know her better. Then, came his question: "How do I convince her to have a FWB with me?"
What???
I would have dismissed it as an oddity, but I saw at least 3 or 4 similar posts the same day. The posters, all male, had the same question: how do I convince the woman I like to agree to a FWB/no-strings-attached arrangement? They asked with no so sense of irony, no awareness they might be asking anything unusual. I couldn't get over it.
MY question is, has the whole concept of dating and relationships become totally foreign to some younger people? Are random hookups and FWB all they know? I am really curious...
I see alot of people my age in the standard relationships and people who do have FWB. While some may into the random hook ups and such from this in this young generation to speak of those people are not as numerous as television will let you to believe.
Also random hook ups are not new I just feel there is less stigma to it and people are more honest and upfront about it.
Honestly, being in a serious relationship between 18-24 is not a good idea to me. That may be the one time in life where the sky is the limit and you can have the most fun possible. Why would you tie yourself down to one person so early
In general, I agree with this but what about this scenario: what if you meet someone very young and you're madly in love with them? You are perfectly compatible, they're not best friend, the chemistry is there... so you just dump them or cheat because you want to have the "most fun possible?"
Why can't you have the most fun possible with one person?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,737,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61
In general, I agree with this but what about this scenario: what if you meet someone very young and you're madly in love with them? You are perfectly compatible, they're not best friend, the chemistry is there... so you just dump them or cheat because you want to have the "most fun possible?"
Why can't you have the most fun possible with one person?
A while back, I read a post by a young man who wanted to get a young woman's attention and needed advice. He started out saying how pretty she was, how charming, how much he wanted to get to know her better. Then, came his question: "How do I convince her to have a FWB with me?"
What???
I would have dismissed it as an oddity, but I saw at least 3 or 4 similar posts the same day. The posters, all male, had the same question: how do I convince the woman I like to agree to a FWB/no-strings-attached arrangement? They asked with no so sense of irony, no awareness they might be asking anything unusual. I couldn't get over it.
MY question is, has the whole concept of dating and relationships become totally foreign to some younger people? Are random hookups and FWB all they know? I am really curious...
This isn't at all new, only the terminology has changed. Young guys, college students, (a certain contingent of them, anyway) have always tried to get sex on the first date, always been after what was essentially a FWB situation, but the term FWB didn't exist until the new millennium. Too many young men have always been estranged from women and only viewed them as a source of sexual gratification. This is an age-old issue. I read that in the Victorian Era, men who wanted random hook-ups only had to give a woman the cold, intense stare (even if only passing in the street), and she knew what it meant. If she was game, she'd go with him to his chosen locale, no words needed be exchanged.
As MissAnnThrope once said, "It's all in the eyes".
My mom tells me stories of how "loose" a lot of her friends were in college back in the early 80's. She on the other hand wasn't like that, and waited until marriage to have sex. She was in the minority then despite the fact that sleeping around wasn't as socially acceptable back then, at least from what she tells me.
Those same girls who were sleeping around THEN are now parents of kids my age, and, well...you see where I'm going with this...the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Combine that with the instant gratification syndrome that runs rampant now, and here is why I think so many young people are promiscuous: 1) There's no stigma to itl; 2) their parents didn't raise them to believe there was anything wrong with it (in fact, my mom has friends with teens/young adults who basically don't even bother telling them NOT to have sex, because they practiced that type of behavior themselves as young adults and think there's nothing wrong with it), and because of that they have no moral compass to guide them.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,737,988 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoDoubt1993
My mom tells me stories of how "loose" a lot of her friends were in college back in the early 80's. She on the other hand wasn't like that, and waited until marriage to have sex. She was in the minority then despite the fact that sleeping around wasn't as socially acceptable back then, at least from what she tells me.
Those same girls who were sleeping around THEN are now parents of kids my age, and, well...you see where I'm going with this...the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Combine that with the instant gratification syndrome that runs rampant now, and here is why I think so many young people are promiscuous: 1) There's no stigma to itl; 2) their parents didn't raise them to believe there was anything wrong with it (in fact, my mom has friends with teens/young adults who basically don't even bother telling them NOT to have sex, because they practiced that type of behavior themselves as young adults and think there's nothing wrong with it), and because of that they have no moral compass to guide them.
The debate we're having is if this is a bad thing or not. I don't think it is provided the parties involved are reasonably protecting themselves.
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