Can't have it both ways (sex + good wife) (dating, woman, lover)
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I've come to the conclusion that the types of women who make a good wife are generally relatively boring and/or stingy lovers with lower than average libidos.
Let me clarify - I am NOT expecting a slave. I am married to a woman who is wonderful in all ways except one, and that's that she has no libido and when we do have sex, she lies there like a mannequin. I don't expect to have clean socks and food on the table or anything archaic, just someone who is faithful, a partner, and who loves me fully and doesn't look for any outside action.
I haven't cheated, and won't. I do, however, use this board to vent a little bit at times and have to please myself often.
I romance her, I treat her well, etc., but she is NEVER in the mood. In fact, in our counseling sessions, she admits she has "never really enjoyed sex, and never had much desire for it".
Women I've dated who were sexual vixens got bored with me after a while, or, cheated on me.
Am I right? Is it almost impossible to find a woman who is good marriage material AND has the kind of sex drive that most men would like their wife to have??
It seems so, and here on this site, it also seems like most of the women who admit to having a high libido are bisexual/bicurious, don't marry and don't want to, etc. etc. etc.
Should've had more sense than to marry a cold fish. It's not bright to marry someone who is different than the type of woman you like. If I meet a woman and she has very little libido even while I'm still young and good looking, she'll be way worse when I look like a wrinkled old raisin. Human lack of logic never ceases to astound me. Every man should be forced by law to watch a season of Everybody Loves Raymond before marriage.
I've come to the conclusion that the types of women who make a good wife are generally relatively boring and/or stingy lovers with lower than average libidos.
that she has no libido and when we do have sex, she lies there like a mannequin. I romance her, I treat her well, etc., but she is NEVER in the mood.
Women I've dated who were sexual vixens got bored with me after a while, or, cheated on me.
Am I right? Is it almost impossible to find a woman who is good marriage material AND has the kind of sex drive that most men would like their wife to have??
It seems so, and here on this site, it also seems like most of the women who admit to having a high libido are bisexual/bicurious, don't marry and don't want to, etc. etc. etc.
The fact that your wife dosent want to have sex with you and other women you dated got bored or went else where for sex would indicated to me that the problem may be you. As rankin said, some men just dont know how to light the flame, or keep it burning.
OP, if you knew this before you married your wife and married her anyway thinking things would "change," shame on you for not knowing better. People don't change their inherent preferences, and a low libido is one of them.
If she once enjoyed sex with you, maybe there's hope ...
But as to your question — is it possible to find a loving, faithful woman who adores having sex? Absolutely! I fit that description right down the line. My S.O. is totally scrumptious, and we've been together for some time now. I still fantasize about the man.
Take her out of town for the weekend. Get away from the local stress, kids and have a nice relaxing weekend.
Then talk to her. Tell her that you both have a problem and you need help understanding. Not sure how old you are but have you both had a physical and hormones tested ? Both women and men have levels of testosterone and when the levels drop so does desire.
Talk & Communicate. Find out what is wrong in your relationship.
Ask and you might receive but don't judge or be critical. It's your problem as a couple not her or your problem.
It is possible to have it both ways. But it sounds like it is just not possible for you to have it both ways because you are already married to someone who does not enjoy sex. I assure you - there are plenty of good wives out there who love sex. Being a good wife and being bad in bed are not mutually exclusive - just like being a bad wife and being good in bed are not mutually exclusive.
The fact that your wife dosent want to have sex with you and other women you dated got bored or went else where for sex would indicated to me that the problem may be you. As rankin said, some men just dont know how to light the flame, or keep it burning.
Yep! Referencing your own words. May be time to ask the wife directly (in or out of counseling) about the problem. If this is important to you, and understandable if it is, and she won't change or communicate about it, maybe time to think about other options.
It seems so, and here on this site, it also seems like most of the women who admit to having a high libido are bisexual/bicurious, don't marry and don't want to, etc. etc. etc.
Would have to ask their husbands if they agree that their wife has a high libido. It would be like men proclaiming that they are romantic and sweet but ask their wives and see what they say about it.
Married women not having sex once married seems to be common. There has even been quite a couple of threads as of lately about it. But there may be some married women out there of course who do like to have sex as much as their husband and will do what it takes to do it. Hey, when you like something you don’t find excuses to NOT do it, right?
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Looks like you completely missed that part. 