Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
In fact, I'd say that people try/wish/hope they can be friends, but it just doesn't work out.
One of the main problems that I see is that some of the things that draw people together as a couple aren't the same things that would draw them together as friends.
We typically choose our friends based on how much we have in common with them, such as hobbies, interests and personal tastes. When choosing a friend, I might look for someone who reads a lot, for example, and who can discuss books or politics/current events, or who likes the same type of movies and music concerts as I do.
These things aren't important to me when choosing a mate. I look for someone who's dedicated to getting from one day to the next, who's OK when both of us simply need to be quiet and go to our respective corners. In most cases, I can't think of anything that I'd want to discuss with any of my exes — or anything that I possibly could.
The one who got dumped usually can't stay friends with the one who dumped him/her. Its very hard to get dumped and to feel equal to the other person who dumped you, relantionships is a game of confidence so it's only natural you just walk away and move on with your life.
Usually the one who left is fine being friends. It is the one who still wanted the relationship who has "issues" with being "friends".
I left an ex, who still hates me. He wants no contact. His choice. He is the one with the problem. Others just move on. It is just the way it is...
Exactly...since you dumped him he wants nothing to do with you and i don't blame him at all, a man can't get dumped and picture his woman or former woman with another man.
I don't know what your experience was but I bet the marriage wasn't that passionate..thus you're able to be friends like its no big deal. I could be wrong, as I'm not you but that's how I tend to see it.
Well, gee. Think you can be wrong?
You are.
But don't let that stop you.
I'd venture I'm a bit more mature than you "tend" to be.
I could be wrong, but that's not how I tend to see it.
Why is it so hard for two people to remain friends after they break up? Or is it?
A. Possible Reasons Why:
1. Something happened in the relationship that angered or offended or frightened one or both partners. The trust and respect has high-tailed it out of the relationship, so there is nothing left that can be used to build the post relationship friendship.
2. One partner took sexual advantage of the other partner. This would be a betrayal of trust. It would pretty much take a doormat type personality to want a friendship with someone who has done that to them. Even if there wasn't a betrayal, if the couple was intimate in the relationship, sexual jealousy toward a new romantic partner could rear its ugly head.
3. One partner took financial advantage of the other partner. Depending on the severity, this could be seen as a betrayal of trust.
4. One or both partners had a subconcious hope or dream that their partner could have been THE ONE. Once circumstances create a setting where there is not going to be a romantic future or a future marriage for the two of them, the couple realizes that it will be necessary to move on in hopes of finding THE ONE. If this is attempted, it may seem that the partner who did not want a future commitment with the other is hindrance. They would be, in a strictly practical sense.
5. If one wanted friendship, and the other, romance, the two are at cross purposes; that could make a friendship difficult or impossible.
- Usually it's because one person didn't want the breakup and they still want the other person back.
- It's hard to see your ex with someone else or talk about dating other people.
- Sometimes if you're hurt bad enough, just the sight of your ex can trigger a lot of emotions.
- Part of getting over someone is to get them out of your mind, and to do that they also need to be out of sight.
- If the breakup went badly because someone ended it in a disrespectful manner, it's hard to be friends with someone who has disrespected you. That's what ultimately helped me get over my ex, I realized that by using me to help her move and dump me 2 days later when she had known for weeks she wanted to end it with me, that I could not be friends with someone who uses people for labor. Especially in such a cruel manner as that.
Why is it so hard for two people to remain friends after they break up? Or is it?
Human nature. It's a lot easier leaving an pos, A-hole than someone who rocks your world!
- It's hard to see your ex with someone else or talk about dating other people.
Yes, this. If you're truly "friends" with someone, no topic of conversation should be off limits. And yet it seems really weird to me to discuss dating another person with an ex, even when there's no feelings involved. I dunno. It just feels uncomfortable.
When I think of a "friend," I think of someone who helps me move, who I can call in a crisis, who's always there for me when I need them, who gets invited to holiday dinners with my family.
Exes may think that they can be this to each other, but problems arise when one gets serious about a new partner — or when one of the exes gets married. Your new S.O./spouse should reasonably expect that you won't drop everything to rush to the side of an ex. A friend who's been nothing but platonic? Absolutely. In the case of a friend who's an ex? Mmm ... there are boundary issues here ...
I wouldn't want to be friends with any of my ex loves. If someone breaks up with me, then how could I stand to be around them? I love them, I want them, and they don't want me. How can I get over the hurt while I'm still hanging out with them or even worse, watching them move on? How painful.
It is just that the season for that person in my life was over when the relationship ended. There is no reason to remain friends. There is really no place in my life for them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
