Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,213,552 times
Reputation: 11862
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba
Wow! How old are you?
Do anything you can to avoid serious heart wrenching rejection. Get coaching if you need to and learn to pick up on the girls who really like you. You are in a good spot.
Rejection has messed me up and jaded me badly. I don't wish it on anybody.
I'm 26. It's a long story. One major reason is I have severe anxiety disorder, although that's not the whole story.
I don't know if I'm accurate, but it seems to be it is almost expected that after two people who have been in a serious relationship break up, they do not remain friends. They may drift apart, hate each other, be indifferent, or be on congenial terms, but it seems it's not really conventional for them to remain really good friends afterwards.
Does this vary if the two people were good friends BEFORE they became romantic? Versus if they were only ever romantic together.
I mean sure it does happen, but is there something about being in a relationship that ruins a friendship?
I don't really see why it has to.
Yes I have much to learn, but please don't refer to me personally. I just want to talk in general.
The two ppl need time apart before they can know if they can be friends or not after a relationship. It's a risk you need to take.
My ex husband and I are "friends" because we have two very good reasons to be friends. The romantic feelings that we had are long gone but I still care for his well being.
I don't really have any other exes. Just people I've dated short term and I don't stay in contact with them other than friending on Facebook.
I never saw the point. It prevents the healing process from moving along. It's like... idk... if you're such great pals why the **** did you break up? It just doesn't make sense to me.
Not to mention every one I know who maintains constant contact with their ex STILL isn't over them. Even 2-3 years after the fact.
I never saw the point. It prevents the healing process from moving along. It's like... idk... if you're such great pals why the **** did you break up? It just doesn't make sense to me.
That's exactly the way I look at it. Residual feelings and attraction are not a good foundation for "friendship."
...it seems to be it is almost expected that after two people who have been in a serious relationship break up, they do not remain friends.
IMO, I agree that is doesn't have to, but everyone is coming from a less than perfect state, and we usually let problems build beyond endurance before facing up to them. We also, in general, tend to guard our sensitive parts, and protect our hurting places, rather than exposing them and examining them objectively. Then, once our endurance for pain, frustration, disappointment (whatever) reaches the trigger point, we start to bicker, argue, fight. It's possible it's only one-sided, but in my observations, it always takes both to cause a relationship to fail, albeit unintended.
Harbored hurts, angers, frustrations should be discussed, but usually they are hurled with some corresponding level of abuse, depending on the depth of the internal pain. The more the pain, the more the abuse.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
