41 year old virgin and ruined a possible relationship (boyfriend, long-term, friend)

[Checkered24]

Good luck Jason, although I think you would be surprised at what you could have and be comfortable with if you were willing to give it a shot!

[Marlow]

Originally Posted by JasonDavis

After plenty of thought, I've truly decided to put a stone over this department of my life. It's really not for me and I don't know what was going through my mind when I accepted that invitation to go out. I've managed all this time on my own, working, doing my things, never bothering anyone with personal issues. I've got talent for my job and I don't feel like a boaster saying it.

If nothing happened regarding relationships in my teens or early 20s, it's pathetic to think I could handle one at 41. I'm not that naive.

I can't quote each post individually but please don't think your advice was useless. It was food for thought and helped me reach this conclusion in a better way.

I've got plenty of things to be busy with. Heck, my job alone is more than enough to keep me busy! I still got my family, some cool friends, my dogs, my huge collection of books, films and aircraft miniatures (nerdy stuff, I know). I've learnt a while ago my brother will be having another child this year, so another one for me to an uncle to.

If you are interested to know, she texted me a few days ago, asking if I wanted to meet up for coffee. As I had promised before, I ignored it. But it doesn't change anything anyway, my decision has nothing to with her personally and I have no intention of hurting women, believe it or not.

Thanks a lot.

I think this is sad, but you're certainly entitled to live your life the way you want to. Good luck with it all!

[JasonDavis]

How is it sad?

I'm saving some women from trouble, you should be happy that I sorted everything out.

[Marlow]

Originally Posted by JasonDavis

How is it sad?

I'm saving some women from trouble, you should be happy that I sorted everything out.

It's sad because there is great joy in connecting with another person on an intimate basis and you're willfully depriving yourself of that experience. This woman clearly is interested in you and perhaps even intrigued by the fact that you're a virgin. From your posts, it sounds like she'd like to continue seeing you--at the very least as friends-- and that she's probably interested in more.

It's like someone is offering you a beautiful gift and you're rejecting it, for no reason other than that you're afraid. That, to me, is sad.

[JasonDavis]

Nah, it's okay, like I said, women are not getting any trouble from me in the process and I get to keep my quiet life. That's quite honourable I think.

Besides, I still got my family.

[Marlow]

Originally Posted by JasonDavis

Nah, it's okay, like I said, women are not getting any trouble from me in the process and I get to keep my quiet life. That's quite honourable I think.

Besides, I still got my family.

You clearly are honorable and you're not misleading any women. Kudos to you for that.

And you seem to have a close family and friends. That's all good.

But there IS more to life than that. If you don't want to pursue a romantic and/or physical relationship with a woman, no problem. Again, it's your business. But I can't help but think you may be missing out on a wonderful experience. *shrug*

[JasonDavis]

I acutually live a few hundred miles away from most of my family but I try to keep in touch as often as possible.

[fleetiebelle]

Originally Posted by Marlow

You clearly are honorable and you're not misleading any women. Kudos to you for that.

And you seem to have a close family and friends. That's all good.

But there IS more to life than that. If you don't want to pursue a romantic and/or physical relationship with a woman, no problem. Again, it's your business. But I can't help but think you may be missing out on a wonderful experience. *shrug*

It's reminding me of the end of Amelie, where she's chickening out on the guy she has a crush on and her neighbor with the brittle bones tells her: "So, my little Amélie, you don't have bones of glass. You can take life's knocks. If you let this chance pass, eventually, your heart will become as dry and brittle as my skeleton. So, go get him, for Pete's sake! "

It probably makes more sense if you've seen the movie.

[Marlow]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

It's reminding me of the end of Amelie, where she's chickening out on the guy she has a crush on and her neighbor with the brittle bones tells her: "So, my little Amélie, you don't have bones of glass. You can take life's knocks. If you let this chance pass, eventually, your heart will become as dry and brittle as my skeleton. So, go get him, for Pete's sake! "

It probably makes more sense if you've seen the movie.

I haven't seen the movie, but the advice is good. You only get one trip--might as well make the most of it.

[JasonDavis]

You should watch it, it's a really good film. Fortunately I'm nowhere as much of a freak as Amelie.