Why do younger women (20s) seldom talk to strangers compared to older women/men? (men, woman)
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I've noticed this. I'm a man and I've been approached by all sorts of people on the street. Tourists asking for directions and usually older white/men asking about being black. Also lots of black people.
The only time a young woman has approached me was two teenage girls to ask to make a call. What I find interesting however is that women in their 20s have never approached me randomly to ask me anything.
I'm not complaining about a lack of female attention. I don't really crave sex and already have a partner. I just find it curious why as one of my friends also reiterated, women in their 20s are the least likely to approach strangers for directions, help, normal chit chat that older people aren't afraid to do.
Well I think throughout our 20s, us younger women still have it in our minds that saying we were taught growing up: don't talk to strangers. I think as we get older and develop more experience with life we become more comfortable with ourselves and have already 'been there done that' and don't feel as.....awkward or uncomfortable asking strangers anything, and being older we know how to protect ourselves if need be. Hope that answers your post.
It depends on the women, OP; their individual maturity level, the environment in which they grew up, their childhood experiences, and so on. Also, young women may tend to naturally gravitate toward other women to ask directions of, and so forth. If I get lost on the NYC subway system, and get off at the wrong stop, finding myself in a sketchy neighborhood, my instinct is to approach an older, matronly woman for directions, for example. But the millennial women I know are confident, and have no problem approaching men or women if need be, which is rare. Maybe they don't need to ask directions of you or anyone, because their smartphones deliver maps to the palm of their hands?
And no, it has nothing to do with sexual harassment. BTW, you haven't told us how old you are. That could be a factor. But in the town where I grew up, there was a good, neighborly vibe, where it wasn't uncommon to say hello to people passing on the sidewalk, and to chat with people in stores. I was never told not to talk to strangers. Where do you live? Maybe that has something to do with it.
In any case, there are many variables involved. We know nothing about you and your community, so we can't hazard a guess.
When I was in my 20's I was married with small kids.
Unlike when I was a teenager, I had my children depending on me, so my safety was very important as compared to teenage "invincibility" attitude. I also had my husband at the time, telling me that all men everywhere were undressing me with their eyes and thinking about sex with me. Yes, the cashier at the store. Yes, the boy bagging the groceries. Yes, my boss. Yes, every straight man. And I should not talk to them, it only encourages them.
Well. I believe that he was only saying that because a.) He has no real respect for women and he himself thinks of women that way, as some (but not all) men do. And b.) he wanted to brainwash me to stay away from other men and be on guard with them, never befriend or trust them...to safeguard HIS FEMALE PROPERTY (me.) He was training me to protect his insecurities in every moment of my life.
But the thing is, he isn't the only man I've known who has acted this way, or who has treated a wife, especially a YOUNG wife, as though she is a teenage girl and "don't talk to strangers, boys only want one thing" talk. Nevermind how plenty of parents raise teenage girls on this sort of thing. Training them that the purity of their bodies is the only coin of value they have to trade for the love and respect of a man one day and all that. Abstinence only sex ed is still the norm in many schools. Used chewing gum and all that.
So yeah, there is an awful lot of training that goes into youngish women to be wary of strange men. I do however think that as women age out of our 20's, for some of us our bodies change and we don't see ourselves the same way, and most of us interact with people enough and gain some confidence and can relax and talk to people without as much concern. And we learn how to do boundaries better, I think.
But old white guys asking about being black though...I want to know what's that about, too...seems strange...
Because many men mistake kindness or any female-initiated interaction for romantic interest, and it's better to avoid that chance altogether and seek help elsewhere.
You say "strangers," but you're a man and you include your personal observations as a man so that's how I'm tailoring my reply.
As an older woman myself I haven't noticed young women being hesitant to approach me for help, but I do remember why I didn't seek people out at that age.
America desperately needs more racial dialog. Don't discourage it. The way you learn to treat others as human is by talking to them.
I'm not sure that anyone was meaning to "discourage" it so much as just I was wondering what that even looks like, what the OP said? Of all people, older white men, are asking someone, a stranger, about being black? Like in what...way...? Like they cruising up, like, "So. You're black. What's up with that?"
I'm just trying to imagine in what social context that would even happen.
I love to hear people's stories, from different backgrounds and walks of life. I've had some wonderful conversations with people of color that I have known and I do get the value of "racial dialog" as you say. It's just the way this specific thing was phrased made me go "Huh?"
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