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Funny I was just thinking of something about asking for directions. Rather off the topic but I found it amusing at the time. When I lived in Des Moines, Iowa, if I asked anyone (whether a coworker, acquaintance, stranger, etc) for directions, they'd give me like a mini history lesson. "Go as far as the gas station, you know that one on the corner? Used to be owned by Jim Smith, a man I knew, back in 1976, but then it burned down. They rebuilt it later. It's a lot nicer since then, you know. OK you turn right there, and then hang a left by the old bowling alley, the one that used to be a dance hall..." Like wow, do you seriously know the history of every building in the city or what?
Does bring up another thought about comfort levels of people talking to strangers, though. Different places I have lived, have definitely been more or less friendly. I would far sooner talk to a stranger in Des Moines, than in DC, no matter their age, gender, or skin color.
Midwest (my goodness, OKLAHOMA!) people are very friendly. The south was a lie all along. Small town locals are the most xenophobic, reclusive, distrusting snobs I have ever encountered. The friendliness, oddly enough, is in the larger cities, and it's the transplants.
Because many men mistake kindness or any female-initiated interaction for romantic interest, and it's better to avoid that chance altogether and seek help elsewhere.
You say "strangers," but you're a man and you include your personal observations as a man so that's how I'm tailoring my reply.
As an older woman myself I haven't noticed young women being hesitant to approach me for help, but I do remember why I didn't seek people out at that age.
According to my hubby (attractive by most people's accounts), women in their early 20's always approach him for dates or sex (they're blatant about it so it's not like his mixing signals or anything). Women in their late 20's and on, if they approach, it's for a reason beyond date/sex.
I've definitely noticed this as well. It could be they are assuming that conversations = being hit on, but I think they just aren't as good at small talk and conversation starting as older people or even men at that age. Even in situations that should be pretty platonic (like a church event or waiting in line) or the lady isn't attractive enough to get hit on often, it's usually a guy doing the talking or it's older people engaging in conversations.
I think it could be that young ladies are not expected to engage strangers as often, so they don't, so they don't have as much practice at striking up a conversation and keeping it going. Females are more social, but conversation generation with strangers is a learned skill that's quite a bit different than socialization with people we already know.
According to my hubby (attractive by most people's accounts), women in their early 20's always approach him for dates or sex (they're blatant about it so it's not like his mixing signals or anything). Women in their late 20's and on, if they approach, it's for a reason beyond date/sex.
I think you have come closest to the right answer.
Young women don't approach men they don't find attractive. And young women don't find older men attractive. Generally speaking. You get the drift.
Because many men mistake kindness or any female-initiated interaction for romantic interest, and it's better to avoid that chance altogether and seek help elsewhere.
You say "strangers," but you're a man and you include your personal observations as a man so that's how I'm tailoring my reply.
As an older woman myself I haven't noticed young women being hesitant to approach me for help, but I do remember why I didn't seek people out at that age.
^^^^ This. ^^^^^
I'm no longer in that sought after 20-y.o. demographic, but even now I notice I have to be careful about being openly friendly with men (esp older or "outcast" types), even though it's obviously platonic or small talk. They will latch on quickly.
I'm no longer in that sought after 20-y.o. demographic, but even now I notice I have to be careful about being openly friendly with men (esp older or "outcast" types), even though it's obviously platonic or small talk. They will latch on quickly.
How is something obviously platonic?
I've gotten one or two rejections without even having an interest in them, because they thought I was into them.
I've gotten one or two rejections without even having an interest in them, because they thought I was into them.
Is everything a female says to a male automatically a sign of romantic interest? Baseline assumption should be platonic, unless you have overwhelming evidence that she definitely wants you (which is probably a lower threshold for many than I'm even giving credit for).
Helpful hint: imagine a man is saying the same thing to you. Then it will probably be obvious how to perceive it.
It's shown more than ever anxiety among the IGen is at its highest and keeps getting higher among girls and now young women. This is because they've been living in a virtual world so it's going to get worse and worse. You'll notice many have their headphones on and won't acknowledge that the outside world exists. And yes, it's also drilled into their head the risk of sexual 'assault'.
But it's also known women in their 20s are the most pursued, hounded, etc. Plus, many won't put themselves in positions to be lost as they'll generally plan ahead or be 'safe'. So it's a combination of inherent human dynamics and social trends.
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