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I've noticed this. I'm a man and I've been approached by all sorts of people on the street. Tourists asking for directions and usually older white/men asking about being black. Also lots of black people.
The only time a young woman has approached me was two teenage girls to ask to make a call. What I find interesting however is that women in their 20s have never approached me randomly to ask me anything.
I'm not complaining about a lack of female attention. I don't really crave sex and already have a partner. I just find it curious why as one of my friends also reiterated, women in their 20s are the least likely to approach strangers for directions, help, normal chit chat that older people aren't afraid to do.
Is it not wanting sexual harrasment?
My guess is they get hit on a lot and haven't developed the social skills to either interpret the approach as non sexual vs sexual. Older women have learned to give clues if they're interested or not interested in sexual approaches and also they've learned to interface in platonic approaches to non sexual approaches.
My guess is they get hit on a lot and haven't developed the social skills to either interpret the approach as non sexual vs sexual. Older women have learned to give clues if they're interested or not interested in sexual approaches and also they've learned to interface in platonic approaches to non sexual approaches.
Of course in all fairness, men acted a lot more predatory toward me in general when I was younger. As I've aged, I get so much less of that, I'm not assuming guys are out to get me.
I had plenty of adult men cat calling and following and propositioning me when I was around age 12-17ish, way way more than I did since becoming an adult. At 40? Psh. Not even a thing.
Like when you're a nail, everything kinda looks like a hammer. Or something.
I had plenty of adult men cat calling and following and propositioning me when I was around age 12-17ish, way way more than I did since becoming an adult. At 40? Psh. Not even a thing.
The only thing worse than having dudes whistle at you is NOT having dudes whistle at you.
The only thing worse than having dudes whistle at you is NOT having dudes whistle at you.
Did it sound like I was complaining? I wasn't. I'm more comfortable in my skin and happy to feel ok chatting with people in the world, without feeling like at any moment, I might be seen like a piece of meat. It was not a nice feeling to be 12, 13, and having adult guys clearly pursuing me sexually.
What I'm trying to say, is that the older I get, the safer I feel and the more confident I am that even if a guy has a thought along those lines, I can handle it. He isn't going to corner me in some way. I did not feel that way when I was younger, necessarily, and I'm speculating that the young women the OP is talking about might not feel safe talking to men they don't know, and there could be a reason for that.
I would rather NOT have to be wary and hyper-vigilant, and to have the luxury of treating people like people without having to pause and consider if they might be a hazard to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ddm2k
It's amazing how low you'll let your guard down when you're actually in search of something.
And I am not sure if you're addressing this at what I said, or not, but I'm not "in search of" anything. Perhaps you were referring to another piece of reasoning elsewhere in the thread. ???
I've noticed this. I'm a man and I've been approached by all sorts of people on the street. Tourists asking for directions and usually older white/men asking about being black. Also lots of black people.
The only time a young woman has approached me was two teenage girls to ask to make a call. What I find interesting however is that women in their 20s have never approached me randomly to ask me anything.
I'm not complaining about a lack of female attention. I don't really crave sex and already have a partner. I just find it curious why as one of my friends also reiterated, women in their 20s are the least likely to approach strangers for directions, help, normal chit chat that older people aren't afraid to do.
Is it not wanting sexual harrasment?
Simple. Because it's more dangerous for them than for some others, so wise for them to be more careful.
As an aside, strangers approach you to ask about being black? Huh?
Why would you relate people asking for directions to craving sex? Why would you think that people would think that? Are you unknowingly answering your own question?
And I am not sure if you're addressing this at what I said, or not, but I'm not "in search of" anything. Perhaps you were referring to another piece of reasoning elsewhere in the thread. ???
People in general. Talking to strangers for directions. Asking for help you're less selective approaching people than you are selective when approached for help.
Mid-20's are so often well-provided for in multiple layers (family, friends, significant other) that their "radius of credibility" sometimes extends no further than blood relatives, classmates, and coworkers. In other words, they don't need to resort to talking to a complete stranger for anything at all.
Lol... the OP is a very small sample of how 20 something women act. Perhaps it’s something about his demeanor that prevents a young woman from feeling comfortable in approaching him.
As for the mansplainers.... thanks! Your input is appreciated! Where would we be without you explaining things for us, about us?
I generally avoid making small talk with strange older men because MORE OFTEN THAN NOT it doesn’t end there. Some old farts still thing they’ve “got it”.
People in general. Talking to strangers for directions. Asking for help you're less selective approaching people than you are selective when approached for help.
Mid-20's are so often well-provided for in multiple layers (family, friends, significant other) that their "radius of credibility" sometimes extends no further than blood relatives, classmates, and coworkers. In other words, they don't need to resort to talking to a complete stranger for anything at all.
My guess.
Ah, thank you for clarifying.
Funny I was just thinking of something about asking for directions. Rather off the topic but I found it amusing at the time. When I lived in Des Moines, Iowa, if I asked anyone (whether a coworker, acquaintance, stranger, etc) for directions, they'd give me like a mini history lesson. "Go as far as the gas station, you know that one on the corner? Used to be owned by Jim Smith, a man I knew, back in 1976, but then it burned down. They rebuilt it later. It's a lot nicer since then, you know. OK you turn right there, and then hang a left by the old bowling alley, the one that used to be a dance hall..." Like wow, do you seriously know the history of every building in the city or what?
Does bring up another thought about comfort levels of people talking to strangers, though. Different places I have lived, have definitely been more or less friendly. I would far sooner talk to a stranger in Des Moines, than in DC, no matter their age, gender, or skin color.
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