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Just moved here end of Nov '07 from foothills above sacramento. Prepared to love the greenery, the Green Attitude, the rivers, the change from CA. Well - the grayness has slammed me to my back with depression, loneliness, just an inability to live my life. I'm a friendly, fairly outgoing person, who had family and lots of friends. I have contacted every organization I can think of, get few/no replies. The two volunteer positions that i was able to finagle my way into turn out to be at-home alone projects, drop it off when you're finished.
What is the secret here???!!!
Just moved here end of Nov '07 from foothills above sacramento. Prepared to love the greenery, the Green Attitude, the rivers, the change from CA. Well - the grayness has slammed me to my back with depression, loneliness, just an inability to live my life. I'm a friendly, fairly outgoing person, who had family and lots of friends. I have contacted every organization I can think of, get few/no replies. The two volunteer positions that i was able to finagle my way into turn out to be at-home alone projects, drop it off when you're finished.
What is the secret here???!!!
This kind of thread usually ends up in locals arguing about how much/how little sunshine/rain/greyness there is. But, I'll give you my opinion.
Don't think there's any secret here. Maybe people have just gotten used to the weather and adapted. I don't know. I love many, many things about this state, but the weather isn't one of them. And if you have SAD (seasonal affective disorder), that will make it even more unpleasant to be here.
Are you working fulltime now? If you have to stay in Oregon because of your career, have you tried full-spectrum lights (I think that's what they're called), maintained a diet with supplements, and especially Vitamin D? Work out regularly, and stay on consistent a schedule as possible (crafts, gym, bicycling, etc.); go light on the coffee and tv.
This type of greyness depresses a lot of people, in a lot of places all over the world. I have a friend who is from California; her hubby is native Alaskan and they live in Alaska. The darkness and greyness of winter up there effects her a lot, but not one of her children. Her husband put full-spectrum lights in nearly every room in their house. It has helped her out a lot. [Fresh] Fish oil is a common supplement in their diet, for what it's worth.
Have you thought of Eastern Oregon? It seems like a different world over there to me.
I think what you are feeling is very common. Some of us can cope with the weather here, and some people are just not wired that way. If you find there's no way to jump start yourself out of this, would you consider moving to a sunny place?
I just wanted to respond and let you know that what you are feeling is more common than you might think. And, unfortunatey, I've never heard of any kind of a support group or organization for this problem.
Nothing to volunteer for? While you were posting, you could have been helping assemble Rose Festival Floats. They're always looking for volunteers. Or have you checked out Hands On?, kept an eye on Craig's List, Habitat for Humanity, Portland Impact, The Audubon Society (broken link), or any of the museums, the theaters, the missions, the food kitchens, hospitals, senior centers, animal shelters, graffiti clean-up, park clean-ups, cemetery clean-ups, the schools, Boy Scouts, Camp Fire Girls. Every festival, bicycle race, marathon, etc. needs tons of volunteers. There's usually a list in the Oregonian (maybe on Saturdays?) of current "needs."
To get out and simply enjoy life (or maybe even volunteer), check out the "Meet In" Portland group. On today alone you'd have had your choice of events like: A hike on Larch Mountain, Lunch and Rose Parade viewing, attending the Buddist Festival, a party to watch the Belmont Stakes, A movie event, A Wine Tour, A co-Ed Slumber party, A visit to the Rhododendron Gardens, a Hike on Mt. Adams.
We just moved here from Las Vegas a little over a year ago - trust me, we both miss those days of sun and sitting out by our pool in February. My husband grew up in the NW but is still suffering along with me. I think what has helped us has been staying active, working out, discovering the city and venturing outside of the Portland area and going to Central Oregon and the Coast. These are great ways to escape the rain (although you may still be in it). You just have to keep reminding yourself that the summers are beautiful here - it has just been really late this year in particular.
P.S. Have you thought of a light box? We have one for the winter and it helps a great deal as well.
Also, we go tanning a couple of times a month. I know it is not exactly "healthy", but it does give you a little Vitamin D and there is nothing worse than seeing how white you have become after living in the sun your whole life!
Well - the grayness has slammed me to my back with depression, loneliness, just an inability to live my life. I'm a friendly, fairly outgoing person, who had family and lots of friends. I have contacted every organization I can think of, get few/no replies. The two volunteer positions that i was able to finagle my way into turn out to be at-home alone projects, drop it off when you're finished.
What is the secret here???!!!
I think you have two problems here: one an environmental-based depression based on the lack of sun, and the other a socially-based depression based on the feeling of rejection. They're both very real.
I loved the weather there and never suffered from the gray, but I know people who did and it was something that they couldn't "wish" away, but a specific biochemical reaction.
As for the second problem: welcome to Portland and the Northwest. Your description of yourself as "outgoing" is a red flag; that doesn't really fly in Portland. It's a vast generalization (but nonetheless a valid one) that Portland has many "interior" people who talk a lot about community. In my experience, places that had more socially adjusted people weren't as obsessed with the notion of community, because meeting people and socializing happened organically without having to organize or codify it.
It can get very disorienting to feel like there's no solution. It sounds like you put yourself out there and didn't receive results, then tried reticence and didn't receive results from that either. After a while, it's understandable to wonder what you're doing wrong.
But think back to other situations and places where those basic social interactions seemed to blossom naturally, and you might think "Hey, I was just fine in places A, B, C, D... why isn't it happening here?" Then it dawns that your behavior may not be the problem, and the variable in the equation is the city itself.
Enrico suggested MEETIN Portland, which is one possible solution. But I think it's telling that a group like that has such an enormous appeal there (the Portland chapter is huge). Many people are clutching at solutions to making friends in Portland, simply because it's so difficult there when it seems to flow so much more easily elsewhere.
It's a bad double-whammy you've got. I'm sorry, and I wish you luck, but I'm not sure there is a secret. Just remember you had family and friends elsewhere. The inherent problem may not be yours.
Summer's just around the corner, and soooo much will be going on. More outdoor concerts (some free) than you can attend; winery tours; non-stop parade of events at the waterfront; drives to the coast; sailing; waterskiing; farmer's markets; Saturday Market; hikes; bicycling; watching the windsurfers in the gorge; golf; camping (check out Lake Billy Chinook)....the list goes on. Then get excited when the fall weather rolls around because that means winter is near and skiing/snowboarding on nearby Mt Hood all winter!
Get involved in some of the many activities available here by joing clubs. There are sailing clubs, ski clubs, cycling clubs, etc. You could join a group like Bergfreunde for example - it's a ski club in the winter, but the members do other activities in the summer months, like whitewater rafting, camping, etc. There are alot of members, and many don't even ski - they join for the activities and to meet others.
On the rainy days, take in a movie or rent a video, read a good book at Powells's, make a fire in the fireplace, go out to dinner, etc. or take a trip to somewhere sunny. A couple mini-vacations during the winter can help alot!
I think you have two problems here: one an environmental-based depression based on the lack of sun, and the other a socially-based depression based on the feeling of rejection. They're both very real.
I loved the weather there and never suffered from the gray, but I know people who did and it was something that they couldn't "wish" away, but a specific biochemical reaction.
As for the second problem: welcome to Portland and the Northwest. Your description of yourself as "outgoing" is a red flag; that doesn't really fly in Portland. It's a vast generalization (but nonetheless a valid one) that Portland has many "interior" people who talk a lot about community. In my experience, places that had more socially adjusted people weren't as obsessed with the notion of community, because meeting people and socializing happened organically without having to organize or codify it.
It can get very disorienting to feel like there's no solution. It sounds like you put yourself out there and didn't receive results, then tried reticence and didn't receive results from that either. After a while, it's understandable to wonder what you're doing wrong.
But think back to other situations and places where those basic social interactions seemed to blossom naturally, and you might think "Hey, I was just fine in places A, B, C, D... why isn't it happening here?" Then it dawns that your behavior may not be the problem, and the variable in the equation is the city itself.
Enrico suggested MEETIN Portland, which is one possible solution. But I think it's telling that a group like that has such an enormous appeal there (the Portland chapter is huge). Many people are clutching at solutions to making friends in Portland, simply because it's so difficult there when it seems to flow so much more easily elsewhere.
It's a bad double-whammy you've got. I'm sorry, and I wish you luck, but I'm not sure there is a secret. Just remember you had family and friends elsewhere. The inherent problem may not be yours.
See, I knew I was right! I KNOW that people in NY, and elsewhere that I've lived are much more outgoing and friendly than folks here. Not kidding with that, even though I've lived here many years.
I've made a lot of friends, and had a good career. Beautiful as it is, the PACNW has always seemed cold to me. There is simply no organic flow to meeting and interacting with people, and socializing - everyone has to belong to a club, organization, or meet through work.
Maybe that's why I wouldn't mind moving back to where there's a lot of snow. A completely different feeling of community there. And I, like you, don't really mind the rain in the NW.
I spoke with another person on this forum who is also from another state. They've experienced the same feelings.
The friends I made in other cities, have become my lifelong friends. And I've lived over half of my life right here in Portland. I spoke with a friend back east after a long absence; when I heard that beautiful New England accent, all I felt was "I want to go home." Now, that's pretty telling too, isn't it? My reaction was completely unexpected, and really surprised me.
Your description of the "problem" rung very true to me. I do hope that used2Bsunshine reads your post. Especially where you wrote "the variable in the equation is the city itself."
Very well written and objective post, and thanks for the thought you put into it.
Last edited by Wicked Felina; 06-08-2008 at 03:37 AM..
Reason: spelling
Just moved here end of Nov '07 from foothills above sacramento. Prepared to love the greenery, the Green Attitude, the rivers, the change from CA. Well - the grayness has slammed me to my back with depression, loneliness, just an inability to live my life. I'm a friendly, fairly outgoing person, who had family and lots of friends. I have contacted every organization I can think of, get few/no replies. The two volunteer positions that i was able to finagle my way into turn out to be at-home alone projects, drop it off when you're finished.
What is the secret here???!!!
I spent my first 25 years in New Mexico. We loved rain there! So when my ex-husband (moving me to Oregon is one of the reasons he's an ex) tricked me in to moving here, I thought, "Ok, I like rain, this will be fun." What I liked was a month of rain in NM compared to nine months here. It does get you down, especially if you aren't used to it. But after 20+ years, here is my advice.
Plan at least one or two trips a year to a sunny location. My friends and I have been going to Vegas every year for the last 15+ years. Just planning it cheers me up.
Get a doctor who understands and get on Prozac.
Try tanning beds. It worked for my sister for a while til she gave up and moved to Phoenix.
Take the wine tours and buy lots. I wasn't much of a wine drinker before but I am now! (Wonder if Betty Ford gives discounts for Oregon residents?)
Get a job that makes you travel. After spending time in upper NY in the late fall when it's below 0, snowing and you get stuck at a small connecting airport for the night, you'll appreciate Portland more. Or try Vegas in the middle of Summer (yes, my friends and I do it every year but we plan it before the middle of the heat wave!). Or try Detroit, enough said....
Or move, which is what I am doing finally. But my kids are staying behind because they actually LIKE it here. May be because they were raised here, or Portland is actually a great city. If you can overcome the weather, Portland could give a lot of cities some pointers.
Go to Saturday Market this weekend, rain or shine. Check out first Thursday. Explore. Weather sucks, but Portland has a lot to offer.
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I KNOW that people in NY, and elsewhere that I've lived are much more outgoing and friendly than folks here. Not kidding with that, even though I've lived here many years. 
