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In my experience, places that had more socially adjusted people weren't as obsessed with the notion of community, because meeting people and socializing happened organically without having to organize or codify it.
Very insightful! You stated in one sentence something that I've been trying to figure out for the 16 years I've lived in Oregon.
I can't really speak about Portland, but I lived in Eugene several years ago and experienced something similar. I was a student at UO and I was frequently amazed at the standoffishness of many people (sorry to say this, but it was mostly women. I was dating--or rather trying to date--when I lived there). This standoffishness mostly occurred when I tried to interact in non-organized settings. Sometimes I felt like I was being sized up by people in order for them to find something about me that they didn't like. Believe me, I did a lot of soul searching in an attempt to figure out if the problem was me. Turns out the best friends I made in Eugene (including my future wife) were all from other parts of the country: Michigan, Louisiana, California, etc. I even had an easier time connecting with international students!
BUT... at the same time there also seemed to be this overly conscious effort to develop "community." A great example of this is the Eugene Celebration; an event that, at least back in the 90s, didn't really seem to have any focus or reason for existing other than to, well, celebrate Eugene. As I read the current Wikipedia entry, it appears that in recent years the celebration has become focused on environmental responsibility. At least there's a reason for celebrating now!
I hope Eugenians and other Oregonians don't take offense. I'm kind of a "low approach" guy myself, so I actually feel like I fit in quite well.
I spent my first 25 years in New Mexico. We loved rain there! So when my ex-husband (moving me to Oregon is one of the reasons he's an ex) tricked me in to moving here, I thought, "Ok, I like rain, this will be fun." What I liked was a month of rain in NM compared to nine months here. It does get you down, especially if you aren't used to it. But after 20+ years, here is my advice.
Take the wine tours and buy lots. I wasn't much of a wine drinker before but I am now! (Wonder if Betty Ford gives discounts for Oregon residents?)
Get a job that makes you travel. After spending time in upper NY in the late fall when it's below 0, snowing and you get stuck at a small connecting airport for the night, you'll appreciate Portland more. Or try Vegas in the middle of Summer (yes, my friends and I do it every year but we plan it before the middle of the heat wave!). Or try Detroit, enough said....
Or move, which is what I am doing finally. But my kids are staying behind because they actually LIKE it here. May be because they were raised here, or Portland is actually a great city. If you can overcome the weather, Portland could give a lot of cities some pointers.
Go to Saturday Market this weekend, rain or shine. Check out first Thursday. Explore. Weather sucks, but Portland has a lot to offer.
Not so sure that buying lots of wine will be a big help to anyone! However, I am curious as to where you're moving? Back to New Mexico?
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernCalifornia
Check the Seattle forum, there is a LOT of discussion about this.
Its both a weather and cultural thing
yes, Seattle and WA forum discuss this. (Seattle Freeze, making new friends...)
It's also a PNW thing, thats why they study this area as a social subculture. folks are polite, and congenial, but really deep friends are few and far between.
It can't be the weather, look at Denmark and the Netherlands and Singapore. The weather is not great in those spots, but people are happy and socially well adjusted. We got asked to dinner at people's homes more times in a few months in Singapore than 25 yrs in PNW, and people there are very self conscious about living in a 'public' housing flat. Here we had 10 people living on our dead end street and we were the only ones with a 'listed' phone number. I just strike it up as 'independent people who settled the west' still striving for that independence. I prefer a few neighborhood potlucks, (like Denmark) and barn raising, and helping my neighbor shell corn, or roof his shed. Here, your whole block might be up roofing their own house, but not likely helping each other, pretty strange, but that's how it is.
It is pretty rare your neighbors bring you food, maybe if you die, but unlikely. Ours think we're nuts when we take produce / casseroles... over when they are sick or 'stressed' out, or broke...not like the midwest farm states... and 'drop-ins' !!! yikes, you might get shot ! (we still accept 'drop ins', but they are few , and they often feel like they are 'imposing' and seldom will stay for supper) but... that's how it is... get used to it, or move on
This year has been particularly grey and chilly. Even the native Oregonians are remarking on it. Usually, by the time the Rose Festival is on, we have had some lovely days, if not weeks. But not so much this year. Have you tried going out to the gardens and nurseries? The Japanese garden and the Rose Garden next to the zoo always cheer me up. And the nurseries in the Willamette Valley are stunning at this time of year.
But you know, in the end, the weather can be an issue. I think it's beginning to get to me, too. Don't get me wrong, the PNW is wonderful in many ways, but I need some bright sunny days in winter. I'm thinking of moving, too.
I became a big wine drinker while in McMinnville!! The wines are fabulous and when we moved to Idaho this past February we packed 12 cases with us! I do not miss the weather there AT ALL but I do miss the food and wine quite a bit. We look forward to a fall trip to eat good food and replenish our stores and I think I'll be a much happier visitor to the willamette valley than I was as a resident.
Anyways, back to the original post, I think it is comforting in part to know that there are others out there who struggle with the weather as well as the very positive tips for how to handle it. Getting outside as much as possible was helpful, and when I lived there I would try to look down at the ground at all of the amazing greens and colors. Sunny vacations help. Medications could help I guess. There have been recommendations on this board for vitamin D which is certainly worth a try. Keep in mind though that for some the light deprivation seems to get worse over time and I had that experience. On the other hand, some people have told me that they did eventually adapt, it just took 6 years or so. I found that over time I was having a hard time enjoying the summer because I was dreading the start of the rainy season. There are people all over this board who will say, just enjoy it!! be happy!! but for some people in that climate it is a very real struggle, and you can enjoy and appreciate the beauty, food, culture and simultaneously still struggle w/ the light deprivation.
but back to the original poster, I sincerely hope that you adapt to Portland and are able to meet some folks. Best wishes.
Go to Saturday Market this weekend, rain or shine. Check out first Thursday. Explore. Weather sucks, but Portland has a lot to offer.[/quote]
This year has been particularly grey and chilly. Even the native Oregonians are remarking on it. Usually, by the time the Rose Festival is on, we have had some lovely days, if not weeks. But not so much this year. Have you tried going out to the gardens and nurseries? The Japanese garden and the Rose Garden next to the zoo always cheer me up. And the nurseries in the Willamette Valley are stunning at this time of year.
But you know, in the end, the weather can be an issue. I think it's beginning to get to me, too. Don't get me wrong, the PNW is wonderful in many ways, but I need some bright sunny days in winter. I'm thinking of moving, too.
We're now paying for the fact that we had an unusually beautiful fall with a lot of clear days. The truth is Portland isn't alone in the long dreary spring this year. You'll find it been this sort of spring from here across the northern U.S. to Michigan or farther. As someone who wishes Portland got more sunshine and knows it will never happen, I can relate.
It's also a PNW thing, thats why they study this area as a social subculture. folks are polite, and congenial, but really deep friends are few and far between.
It is pretty rare your neighbors bring you food, maybe if you die, but unlikely. Ours think we're nuts when we take produce / casseroles... over when they are sick or 'stressed' out, or broke...not like the midwest farm states... and 'drop-ins' !!! yikes, you might get shot ! (we still accept 'drop ins', but they are few , and they often feel like they are 'imposing' and seldom will stay for supper) but... that's how it is... get used to it, or move on
Excellent post. As a matter of fact, these past few years the weather has started to get to me, too, and I've been here over 20 years! Never bothered me before...
Too bad you aren't my neighbor, I'd take a casserole any day!
My friend's physchology professor said the same thing that you did. The PNW is being studied for the very reasons you mentioned! I never knew that before. Interesting. I just don't understand the 'aloofness' here...it's a mystery to me. Weird..
Anyway, SAV, yes, we do have great wine, that's the truth!
you can come move by me....i love sharing stuff w/neighbors...(remember those mint brownies?? eh? ) when we end up w/extras like w/potatoes, who can use the whole bag?, then we take some to neighbors....we had more berries then we could eat the other day,same thing, only she brought out the cookies, and we shared berries, cookies and tea along w/a chat.
I will agree, its been a long winter...sigh...but before it gets to me, I read the reports of like those poor souls in the midwest states who are having flood after flood, or the ones who are still snowed in, and I know Im blessed.
you can come move by me....i love sharing stuff w/neighbors...(remember those mint brownies?? eh? ) when we end up w/extras like w/potatoes, who can use the whole bag?, then we take some to neighbors....we had more berries then we could eat the other day,same thing, only she brought out the cookies, and we shared berries, cookies and tea along w/a chat.
I will agree, its been a long winter...sigh...but before it gets to me, I read the reports of like those poor souls in the midwest states who are having flood after flood, or the ones who are still snowed in, and I know Im blessed.
Tiffany
TIFFANY ~ Yes! of course I remember those mint brownies!!! Potatoes, too? Irresistible... Pretty ironic, my dear friend (who lived in another state) always told me I was a lousy hostess, because when they came over for dinner, she would always end up in the kitchen "helping" me to cook. What a second...must've been some comment on my cooking!!!!
Well, I know we are all pretty fortunate here weather wise...I know, too, with all that sushine and desert beauty in the southwest comes water problems, flash floods and little scorpion critters!
Good idea to count out blessings, indeed...
Last edited by Wicked Felina; 06-11-2008 at 12:25 AM..
Reason: speling, again
I've lived a few places and have done my share of "moving in". It has not been my experience that people come around (with pies or without) to say hello to the new neighbors and frankly I don't really need them to but to date three of my neighbors have come over to introduce themselves and that has knocked my GF over dead (I'll be on the market after a decent period of grieving). We are chatted up in the Safeway, on the MAX on the street. I actually thought I was being hit on the other day by this incredibly friendly woman only to find out she had a boyfriend! In NYC there would only be one reason for anyone to be that outgoing with a total stranger: unbridled lust. I don't think I could handle it if PDX'ers were any less aloof. This isn't to say that I don't notice that in general, once the niceties have been observed people retreat back to their homes and are not seen again till perhaps the holidays but I will take that over having no control over ones discretionary time. I for one like, make that love the balance between respectful amiability and surly indifference or cloying familiarity that is maintained by a majority of people that I have observed so far. Mind you I have only been here three weeks in total and less than 10 days in my own place. All this is first impressions, not a peer reviewed scientific survey.
H
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However, I am curious as to where you're moving? Back to New Mexico?
, and they often feel like they are 'imposing' and seldom will stay for supper) but... that's how it is... get used to it, or move on 
wine and Oregon
The truth is Portland isn't alone in the long dreary spring this year. You'll find it been this sort of spring from here across the northern U.S. to Michigan or farther. As someone who wishes Portland got more sunshine and knows it will never happen, I can relate.
