Valid reasons for not wanting children (society, self)
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I don't have extended family and no friends locally who have small children. I have not changed my behavior to avoid children- nothing in my usual routines makes me interact with them or hold babies. I am not phobic (I work in mental health). I just don't like them and have no reason to consider that a problem. (Yes, I lost at least one great guy over the issue, but he really really wanted to be a father- as much as I didn't want to be a parent).
Of course they are part of the public. But our activities and interests rarely coincide. Is that so hard to imagine?
No it is selfish to have children that you do not REALLY want to meet some societal expectation.
Agreed, there are so many people who have children for the wrong reasons. I know a lot of men and women who want big families to feel powerful and show off like they are the Kennedies but they don't want to do any of the work in raising those children and those children are often neglected. In these families, the fathers work all the time to advance their career and the women hire nannies while they shop and hang out with their friends. They have plenty of money and they could devote more time to their kids if they wanted to but they don't care because they had children for fashionable reasons. I think these parents are selfish and had no business having children. I love my children and more importantly I love spending time with them and prioritize and commit time with them.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover
I don't have extended family and no friends locally who have small children. I have not changed my behavior to avoid children- nothing in my usual routines makes me interact with them or hold babies. I am not phobic (I work in mental health). I just don't like them and have no reason to consider that a problem. (Yes, I lost at least one great guy over the issue, but he really really wanted to be a father- as much as I didn't want to be a parent). Of course they are part of the public. But our activities and interests rarely coincide. Is that so hard to imagine?
Um yeah. If they are at my usual hangouts like bars or wild parties, then we have a problem with the parents, not me.
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Babies and children are part of life even if they are not a part of yours. They go out in public, they are probably part of your extended family, etc.. Any dislike that leads to changing your behavior to avoid something you dislike or fear is cause for concern. My daughter is not a fan of spiders, but if she changed her behavior to avoid them that might signal a phobia.
Phobia my a&%. I don't go to things like kids birthday parties or eat in at family themed restaurants just because kids are there. It is because I'd be bored as there anyway. I don't volunteer for children's church at my church because I'm not good with kids. Those facts have not a damn thing to do with a phobia.
To the tool who keeps leaving the rep comment "Everyone should have children." I wish I knew who you are.
You know, I guess I don't understand why someone would not "like" children. What have children done to someone personally to incur such dislike? I just don't get it myself. Ok, you don't feel comfortable around children. Ok, sometimes hearing crying and witnessing bratty behaviour makes you cringe. I get that...you can be a parent and those aspects of children wear thin. But actually disliking them just seems very odd to me. Random children do not know you nor do you know them. So why the dislike? Even worse, why do some actually hate children? That particularly seems wacky. If one is going to judge in the broad sense based on certaiin actions, then I suppose I shouldn't like men since there are habits that they do that can be grating.
I seriously doubt that anyone who is conscientious enough to give thought to having children would ever abuse them but I don't think anyone needs to offer an excuse for not wanting children. That's a personal choice that hurts no one.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by riaelise
You know, I guess I don't understand why someone would not "like" children. What have children done to someone personally to incur such dislike? I just don't get it myself. Ok, you don't feel comfortable around children. Ok, sometimes hearing crying and witnessing bratty behaviour makes you cringe. I get that...you can be a parent and those aspects of children wear thin. But actually disliking them just seems very odd to me. Random children do not know you nor do you know them. So why the dislike? Even worse, why do some actually hate children? That particularly seems wacky. If one is going to judge in the broad sense based on certaiin actions, then I suppose I shouldn't like men since there are habits that they do that can be grating.
well I don't know every bee in the world but I still do not like them anyway. Some are y'all are acting like we go around hitting children, I just prefer not to be around them. That's all.
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
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They cost too much, the restrict your freedom and they may grow up to be sociopaths . However if I was happy with my self and kinda rich I would still have them
Um yeah. If they are at my usual hangouts like bars or wild parties, then we have a problem with the parents, not me.
Ah, I see the problem. I go to lots of other places besides parties and bars. I go to the museum, the beach, regular restaurants, stores, sidewalks, etc. Clearly places you do not go.
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Phobia my a&%. I don't go to things like kids birthday parties or eat in at family themed restaurants just because kids are there. It is because I'd be bored as there anyway. I don't volunteer for children's church at my church because I'm not good with kids. Those facts have not a damn thing to do with a phobia.
If you read for clarity, what I said was if you are changing your behavior to avoid children you should be concerned about a phobia. Again, apparently you only go to parties and bars. Must be very satisfying, the rest of us, even those who do not like children, do acknowledge they are a part of society that has every right to be out in public. Can you imagine if someone said what you said about any other group of people? Go ahead. Try those out and you may understand why it is so bizarre.
Substitute the words "black people", "elderly people", "skinny people", "gay people", etc for the word children. Sound weird to you? Maybe indicative of a problem? Anyone who hates an entire group of people or treats an entire group of people as one entity is not very open minded.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
Ah, I see the problem. I go to lots of other places besides parties and bars. I go to the museum, the beach, regular restaurants, stores, sidewalks, etc. Clearly places you do not go.
If you read for clarity, what I said was if you are changing your behavior to avoid children you should be concerned about a phobia. Again, apparently you only go to parties and bars. Must be very satisfying, the rest of us, even those who do not like children, do acknowledge they are a part of society that has every right to be out in public. Can you imagine if someone said what you said about any other group of people? Go ahead. Try those out and you may understand why it is so bizarre.
Substitute the words "black people", "elderly people", "skinny people", "gay people", etc for the word children. Sound weird to you? Maybe indicative of a problem? Anyone who hates an entire group of people or treats an entire group of people as one entity is not very open minded.
Children have a right to be in public, I get it. Just respect the right I have to totally ignore them or not care about their presence.
Children have a right to be in public, I get it. Just respect the right I have to totally ignore them or not care about their presence.
Wow, can you imagine if you had said this
"Disabled people have a right to be in public, I get it. Just respect the right I have to totally ignore them or not care about their presence."
Oh course you have the right to dislike and not care about your fellow man, regardless of his/her age. It just says a certain something about you.
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there anyway. I don't volunteer for children's church at my church because I'm not good with kids. Those facts have not a damn thing to do with a phobia.
