Valid reasons for not wanting children (life, self)
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It's not fair at all to call someone selfish because they don't want kids. I'm pretty sure I do want them someday but sometimes I do question that when I see people with kids and how much work it is. From the day that child is born you can never put yourself first again. Or you shouldn't. It doesn't make someone a selfish or bad person because they have other ambitions in life than to raise children.
UKman, no need to explain yourself. Not wanting kids is a perfectly valid reason to not want kids. As a child-free woman, I got that "selfish" thing when I was younger. I've always felt that I gave way more thought to my decision to not have kids than many parents give the decision to have them. It's far more selfish to want kids just because you want them, without thinking about how you can adequately provide for them, or if your lifestyle is healthy for them, etc. It's just your personal decision, and no one needs to know your reasons, although that won't stop them from asking. I might not share that whole "detesting to the point of abuse" thing though. Get a stock answer ready (something like..."I'm just not into kids at all"), and unless the person you are talking to is the potential mother of those children, you don't need to go beyond that answer.
And I disagree!! I think it highly selfish to want to make babies to pass on your name and DNA. Especially when there are already 7 billion human beings on this planet and so many people are still not living a very good quality of life.
Being selfish is having babies because YOU want to. Not being selfish is not having babies because earth doesn't have enough resources (clean drinking water, food, arable land, decent jobs) for every human being.
Please explain yourself.
IMO, being selfish (and also obnoxious) is questioning anyone else for having kids or not. It's none of my business what others decide and to call others selfish for their choices just means I expect others to do as I would have them do to please me or for my benefit. Pretty much the height of selfishness.
I'll never understand the "It's selfish not to want children" thing. Huh?
If anything, I'd say people that do have children might be labeled selfish.
Some childless people are definately self-centered. Maybe they're selfish too, but not because they choose to remain child free.
I have not heard it is selfish not wto want children. WHat I have heard is if you are selfish, you should not have children. Rasiing children requires a huge amount of selflessness. You must sacrifice a lot of benefit for yourself in order to promote the benefit of kids or family. I have relatives who recognized this and determined they are too selfish to have children. selfishness is always touted as a bad thing. Our society values selflessness, but selfishness is human nature. Everyone wants things for themselves. Many people will readily lie cheat and steal if they acan get away with it in order to get things for themselves. Is it surprising that many people to not want to share their time and resources with kids, who unless you really dedicate your self to them, are not likely to be appreciative (or at least will be unappreciateive at times.).
So anyway it is backwards. People are npt selfish because they choose to remain child free; they choose to remain child free becasue they are not interested in the self sacrifice necessary to raise decent children.
teacher
police or fire man or woman
nurse or doctor(with exception of abortion clinic and/or sterilization clinic)
daycare worker, nanny, au par, etc.
Chunky Cheese employee
theme park employee
the spouse of anyone who has them or grandchildren
Too many to finish list, but I think you get the picture.
The not wanting children is not disturbing or abnormal. The despising and possible abuse/hatred part is.
I'd seek some help for that one. It's abnormal---> to say the least!
I don't get why this always creates such nasty arguments. If you don't want children, fine -- don't have them. If you want children, fine -- have children. We should all do what we want with our own lives, and mind our own business.
I will say this: There's nothing wrong with not wanting children. However, there is something strange about hating children, or about hating parents. Which you will sometimes see expressed by people who are "childfree".
How in the world did you come up with that dumb statement?
I chose not to have children, I wanted a high powered career and I knew that I could not serve two masters. Not having children was the right decision for me.
How in the world did you come up with that dumb statement?
I chose not to have children, I wanted a high powered career and I knew that I could not serve two masters. Not having children was the right decision for me.
It seems like many many people frame the decision whether or not to have children in this way, kids vs successful career. It's not impossible to raise kids and a successful career but the absence of one sure does seem to make the other easier. However I believe having a "high powered career, chasing the almighty dollar and some superfluous title" pales in comparison with the opportunity to give the gift of life to another human being, raise them with your values and form a a loving parent/child bond.
No one ever writes "I wish I'd spent more time at work" on their gravestone. I'm certain that when I'm in the twilight of my life by my, surrounded by my children and grandchildren I will be absolutely content with no regrets.
How in the world did you come up with that dumb statement?
I chose not to have children, I wanted a high powered career and I knew that I could not serve two masters. Not having children was the right decision for me.
As I said in my message above, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to have children. If you don't want children, that's fine, don't have any.
However, having children and having a high powered career are not mutually exclusive. I know plenty of people at the top echelons of their professions who have children.
I was unaware that I needed any reason for not having kids?
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